I don't get them often, but I do have them. I have done this before where I share with you what my initial gut, internal, response is when I read a headline or even the title of a piece of spam. The collection is getting large again. Here goes:
Spam headline reads:
Interview With Jesus Extra 20% Off Ends at Midnight - Save Now!
Now, can Jesus clear the temple and crack a whip virtually? If anyone could, He could. Stand back!
Cleanse Your Colon of Excess Weight
Sure, but that isn't where my excess weight is.
Turtle Wax Ice--Stop Waxing Start Icing
Okay, the image in my head is really disturbing. I don't want to click on this spam to see if they are talking about bikini wax or car wax.
Sell Your House to Us!
Ummm....no.
Hi!
Bye.
Viagra or Cialis solution for your problems. (all kinds of grammar issues here)
Trust me, Viagra and Cialis won't cure my problems. Can you put more money in my bank account, pay my credit card bill, and make sure that my retirement fund is funded? That would be a solution for my problems.
Headlines:
Michael Jackson Sells Never Land to Corporation
Seriously, can we be done with Michael Jackson already?
Virtual Affair Leads to Real Divorce for UK Couple
Oh my word!
Scientists Investigate JFK Conspiracy Theories
Can we let the man rest in peace, please?
Prince Charles Wants to Speak Out as King: Biographer
Don't get too crazy, Charles. Careful now.
Unhappy People Watch More TV
Yeah, so?
Lily Tomlin Wants Dallas Elephant Relocated
Really? Where? Someplace that probably looks an awful lot like a zoo.
As I get ready to go to bed after being thoroughly discouraged by current events, my final thought to myself, "Jesus, come soon!"
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