Crud, crud, crud!

I had an inkling this would happen someday.

You know how much I really enjoy sending BH's birth family our semi annual letter and pictures. I sent the most recent pack the week of Thanksgiving. We received it back today "No longer at this address". Crap!

I kind of knew this would happen. Let me give you a bit of the red tape that can happen with adoption.

When we adopted BH, the agency, we shall call ABC, had a director, Jeff. Jeff was a bit of a schmoozer who could easily be a politician. And in some respects of adoption, you want that kind of person. You need someone who can build relationships and put together agreements, which is what adoption is.

ABC adoption was (notice the past tense) directed by Jeff on the east coast, we live on the west coast. JM's adoption was in a state a long way's off, and it was a commitment to a lot of phone calls, and it went fine. I made it clear to Jeff, we needed him to jump on the paperwork so we could finalize the adoption by the end of 2005. Why? So we could get the adoption tax credit we desperately needed to pay for a lot of the adoption. Key! I made it clear, that needed to happen.

After we took custody of BH in the summer of 2005, the adoption isn't over. You have to finalize the deal with a lot of paperwork and a court appearance. Again, lots still needs to happen.

I called my attorney in the fall to see how the paperwork was slogging along. He had received nothing from ABC. Now keep in mind, they had hounded me quite a bit at this point for several minor medical bills to be paid, which were. But when I needed something, I got nothing.

This calling, asking for the paperwork, nothing happening, continued after the New Year. It got to the point that by March, I wasn't getting calls returned at all. I would just call at random times to try to catch a lucky moment when someone picked up the phone.

This is tax season of 2006! Our taxes are messed up so badly at this point. I finally get ahold of Jeff, and he explains to me a terrible thing. His entire staff had walked out on him and he was running the whole show. "Oh, Jeff, I am so sorry. However, I really need this paperwork to happen. It has been almost a year" I say. His specific words to me are "You have my word that this will be out the door to your attorney in a week." When someone says that to me, I honestly take them at their word.

I call my attorney at the beginning of May, and I get the answer, he hasn't received the paperwork. I am shaking mad at this point, I am not kidding. I am on the verge tears, and they are not sad, they are pure infuriation. I leave Jeff a voicemail with my voice shaking explaining how upset I am that I took him at his word that he swore to me, and that if this doesn't get resolved, I will be calling the attorney general in the state in which he is a practicing adoption attorney. Seriously, nothing happens. I now totally understand why his entire staff walked out on him, he has the listening skills and follow through skills of a dolt.

I finally get him on the phone while I am at the zoo at the beginning of June. I ask him flat out, get me paperwork or I am taking legal action. I am not exaggerating, he tries the schmooze thing on me. He says, "Oh but AM, just think of the great son you have." I say, "Nice try, he isn't my son actually is he? At best, I am his legal guardian, and how are we going to fix that?" He says, "Fair enough...." and makes more promises.

I have kept my attorney abreast of this crap all along, and he finally called Jeff, which was out of the kindness of his heart, and said something. The paperwork finally got finished, over a year after taking custody of BH.

I noticed the following November, when I called ABC offices, his voice wasn't on the voicemail. It was the social worker saying she would call back. I have left several messages with her, and of course, no returned calls.

So the writing has been on the walls for awhile. That agency is on the way out. But any responsible agency, when it folds, contracts another agency to take care of all the follow up and contact between birth and adoptive parents. I know our agency here in our hometown has taken over those responsibilities for other agencies. Nothing from ABC.

I have searched on the Internet for ABC, for Jeff, for the social worker, for any updated information. I have also left a message for another agency in the same city just to see if the know the gossip about what has happened to ABC.

And who suffers here? Well, when BH is old enough, I get to tell him that the agency went under with no new information. His birthparent's suffer because they are waiting for the update that is sitting on my desk, instead of in their hands.

Crud, crud, crud!!