Another Journey--I'm Sick of Journeys

Why the heck does everything in a woman's life involve a journey? I am so sick of journeys.

And yet, by no choice of my own, I am embarking on another. Menopause. It is this weird thing that happens to us all who have XX chromosomes. We know what it is. Yet it's very unclear.

Technically, I am pre-menopausal. All women are before the plumbing shuts down, technically.

What I have discovered. It's the pre-menopause (or perimenopause) that is the painful journey. Menopause is the prize.

And each journey is incredibly different. If you talk to the girlfriend network, there is no helpful hints because each person is so varied in their experience, health, family history and doctor's advice. Ask anyone of them, when did it start? Deer in the headlights.

I visited the doctor a year ago. She confirmed what I already knew intuitively. I am in the thick of it. No real discernible symptoms that can be measured, but I'm there. Oh, and it's a good thing I am running and watching my health. It'll make the journey smoother. Swell. Does this seem mysterious to you? It is to me too. 

Here's what I know.
 
 * I have no idea when this started, but as I look back, things were changing when I turned 40. I don't know how to describe it, but change was afoot. Nothing calculable can be reported, I just knew.

*This whole thing, in my little being, is starting to become cyclical. I used to notice "things" showing up every now and then. Now it is definitely cyclical and I have noticed this more since the beginning of the year

* My Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). Gads, I've had that since my early 30's. What is it? It is a fairly common ailment that starts up as one is getting relaxed, like laying down to go to bed. It's is a creepy, crawly, nervy feeling in one's legs. It builds into a tension for about 30-60 seconds to the point where the only relief is to flex your leg muscles--hard--to relieve it. And then you relax. Wait about 60 seconds and it begins again. On really bad nights, there is no break in the flexing and it goes on for hours. It has gotten worse in recent years.  Related to this journey? Doctor isn't sure. I'm convinced it is. It is part of this newly recognized cycle.

* Speaking of trying to sleep while your legs are trying to turn inside out...let's talk about hot flashes. I don't always recognize them and they are infrequent enough that I have a hard time identifying them. Is it hot in here? Well a little. Did I just go up and down the stairs and maybe a little warm from that? Then I feel silly, "Kids, is it hot in here?" When I know I am having them is at night. Again, not frequently, but there is no asking if it is "hot in here". Sweaty pajamas and sheets tell me. I notice the damp sheets and pajamas because I am wide awake tossing and turning from the crazy RLS. Seems the hot flashes and RLS are on the same cycle. I like to use the new pop culture phrase "hot mess" when I am swearing under my breath in the middle of the night about the beating I plan to give Eve.

*Sugar. I have a sweet tooth. Always have. I have managed to keep it under control for three years now. However, there are cyclical moments when it is crazy how much I have gotta have it. Never had this before in my life. I can also pinpoint it in the cycle. I will have the cravings, step back, do some math in my head, and I know it's part of this extra special journey.....that was sarcasm.

* Plumbing that is cyclical in women is still but not quite. It misfires in really inconvenient and alarming ways. How many of us know that friend's cousin who had a "menopause baby"? Babies are always a blessing, but that would be alarming. The misfires are enough to keep life exciting to say the least. Having a few misfires in a woman's plumbing is something that happens all our life, but now it happens more often. Mysterious and difficult to quantify. When it happens, everything is messed up. The sugar-hot flash-sleeplessness-moody-hot mess is Defcon 5 when a misfire is bad. It lasts for about a month, until the next cycle.

*  Coffee. It makes the RLS worse, I've noticed. Used to be impervious to the effects of caffeine, but during certain phases of this cycle I am still figuring out, caffeine from soda make the RLS go into over drive. However, during dormant stages of this weird journey, coffee is what makes me function to offset the ..... (insert next symptom please)

* Sleep. It's elusive. Having a full 6-8 hours of sleep is all I want for Christmas. If it isn't the evil part of the cycle when the RLS has my legs sore from constant flexing and soaked pajamas, then in general, I am not sleeping soundly. If I go too many nights with some serious sleep deprivation, I'll take a Melatonin just to help. So far that seems to be working. I haven't tried it yet on hot mess nights.

* Since there are all kinds of physical changes that happen here that get a bit personal, especially as a married woman. Well. It's on the list too.

It's a bit amazing to make the list. Of all the symptoms the one that has most of my attention right now is the RLS. I am cutting back on caffeine, specifically soda, later in the day and doing some simple things to combat it. In an effort to do this without medications, I am focusing on healthy eating (except when those crazy sugar cravings hit) and running and, for the most part, I feel good. I certainly cannot imagine this special journey when I was overweight and sedentary. The one take away I got from the doctor last year, the diet and exercise help keep the severity of symptoms away.

Well let's hope so.