Homeschooling. As I talk to people who do it, and I know many, I see a running theme. It ain't for the faint at heart. I have talked to some who have stormed out of their homes and vowed to give it up. We have all hit our breaking points. It ain't easy, and I am only three weeks into this, and I am hitting that fearful stage.
We hit the wall this last week. JM hates school. Every kid hates school. But when a homeschooled kid hates school they take it out on their family in whatever way that family operates. So if you are trying to follow all the homeschool experts advice and keep school over here in the "school" category, and home over here in the "home" category, well the lines just got really blurry didn't they?
He refused, cried, yelled, insulted, and overall, had the nastiest attitude. Well, so much for us being ahead of the schedule we had going, we are now behind. On top of that, one lesson we had listed in our "overdue" lesson section was a long and hideous language arts lesson about how to dissect a story. Figure out the beginning, middle and end. How believable the characters are, how the action moves. Then culminated by the student writing their own story, and JM hates to write, plus up to this point all he has done is write answers on worksheets about stories. He is in no mood to write. Plus, he is normally a good reader, and he is sick of reading at this point as well. So all these silly exercises that really should have been divided a little better were now overdue.
I asked the husband (who has done a total of two math lessons thus far) to really delve into this lesson on Saturday while I juggle the other huge aspect in my life--running my business. I was busy on Saturday, and plunged into bed once I got home.
Did the lesson get done? No. Reviewed for the (overdue) math test and finished the (overdue) science lesson, but not this monster lesson in language arts. Hubbie agrees, this kid has the worst attitude.
I walk downstairs this morning and say good morning to my slice of sunshine. Honestly I always say good morning, because it is new, fresh and no carryovers from the day before right? Wrong. Got the sideways snarl in return.
Long talk with the kid, with hubbie in the room. We made it clear. This is it. You need to do this. He agreed to work on his attitude. I also said that he had work to do and was ahead. Now, because of his bad attitude, he has more work to do and is behind. He understood that.
Anyway, sat him down to do this silly math test, which I knew he would ace. The tears began. What?? He is really nervous and afraid, he explains. What if he fails? What if? Sob....what if? He has himself really worked up.
Keep in mind, his first test, he got a D. Why? Not because of him, but because MOM is still getting used to this whole set up and messed up. The teacher is aware of this, and I apologized to JM. But now I have him in a real stew.
Hubbie and I talked calmly about how it's okay if he misses some, it's hard to be perfect, we all miss some, just calm down, do your best, etc. We also explained because he had himself in such a tizzy, he would probably miss a few because he can't concentrate. Lord have mercy! The drama in the last few days has me looking for meds!
He took the test, which I should have just said was a worksheet, because it's everything he has been doing for the last few days, and it only had eleven questions. Easy! He missed one worth three points. Not bad, he got a 86.5 % on it, and you know what? We are happy with that. More importantly, he is happy with that, and it was great to see his sense of accomplishment in his face. I can see why teachers are addicted to watching kids grow in their learning.
It boosted him a bit, and we cranked out some more work for several hours until the hubbie was done. We got the hideous language arts lesson that was four pages of notes just for the instructor! Forget the many worksheets, reading, activities, etc. JM had to do.
Sigh......note to self, next time I am saying that is a math worksheet, not a math test. I really don't want to storm out of my house. If all it takes is for me to say "worksheet" instead of "test" to accomplish that, I will do it!
5 comments:
Oh, AM!! It is true that we ALL go through this. In fact, we had this very break down yesterday over an overdue language arts assignment :) The first year was the hardest as far as this particular issue...there was a lot of testing to see if I would hold the line and make him do the activities he didn't like or didn't want to do. It was the same in any parenting issue...consistency. Austin gets overwhelmed by big projects (whether it is math, social studies, science, language arts..whatever) and we have learned to break it down for him so he can see that it is really just a series of little things. Suddenly, the burden of it is not so great.
Writing is just absolutely hated by him. That is hard for me since all I do is research and write and I'm a bit of a grammar police. Dad however is more relaxed about this and helps him. His teacher also said that it is very common for boys to struggle in this particular area.
I will continue to pray for strength and wisdom (something homeschool moms need constantly!). Thank you for sharing...I know that many times I have wondered if my child is the only one crying and laying on the floor over a writing lesson. :)
I will be praying for both of you. I understand it is a difficult road to follow with homeschooling. I put Katelyn back into school last week because I couldn't juggle her and the boys at the same time. She is on a waiting list for the charter school here in our district. I hope things will go better for you.
I've been homeschooling now for 6 years. Up until last year, there were more good days than bad days. Then we hit 5th grade, now we're in 6th and 2nd. By the 3rd day of school this year I had my son down at the public school to see if I could get a tour and see the curriculum.
*Sigh* Homeschooling is hard on Moms because there's such a fine line between being "Mom" and being "Teacher."
My saving grace this year (besides obviously God - who orchestrated all of this) is that I have wonderful homeschooling friends who called to "talk me down off the ledge." We have a great homeschool group where the moms are there for you if you need them.
And, my husband offered to take on the 2 subjects that the kids give me the most grief over - math and grammar. He does them at night after dinner and it's called "homework." When friends come to play we say, "Sorry, they're doing homework." They're not liking it so much and the attitude's changing a bit. I will say that my husband doesn't school the way I would, but I have to let that go.
Also, we have impressed upon the kids that their only job in life right now is to "go to school." It's the law. And, God has placed upon us, as parents, to make the best decisions for our kids and they need to trust us in our decision to homeschool.
So, hang in there. If you're on the ledge to jump back into "real school" hang in there a little bit more. Pray, pray, pray. If you're not in a homeschool group try and connect regularly with other homeschool families. It helps to have a listening ear from someone who's "been there, done that." And, keep impressing upon your husband the need that you have for him to help out.
Hopefully soon you will have more good days than bad days.
Do you have any kind of incentive program for him? E's big thing is her bike. If she doesn't get her work done or has an attitude problem, no bike for that day. She has to EARN the privilege of playing outside and riding her bike. If we have attitude problems for two days in a row, no bike for a week. That has solved the problem much of the time. And believe me, she can be a real drama queen! Maybe if skateboarding is on the line, JM might be a little more compliant. Maybe?
I agree so much with all of you! Welcome Kathi!
We are definitely using the earning system. Right now, we are on restriction from the playstation, and we are working on the trampoline. I think the reward system will work with JM for sure.
In regards to a support system, so far, as you can see, it's the blogger ladies. I will be meeting several CA moms this week at a library outing for the kids. I am also going to meet in person JM's teacher from CA. She has been great too as a support. I KNOW I couldn't do this without having friends I could sit down with and share a few choice words with about JM's behavior.
All that said, we had a great day today. Got math done, got science done. Have more language arts to work on. I talked to his teacher today, and she definitely gave me a heads up....the language arts assignments will be lengthy. That helps to know, I will definitely be planning how to do those in chunks during the day.
Keep the discussion going! Thanks to all of you for your encouragement! Tracy, I can totally understand your need for Katelyn to go back to school. You have so much on your plate right now!
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