Years and years ago, when we adopted JM, some words were said to me that still ring in my ears today. I have to tell you this so you understand the point at the end.
We adopted our oldest son from Houston, TX. When we flew down to Houston to pick him up, I remember sitting in the adoption agency in Texas waiting for his foster parent to bring him to us. He had been born about 3 weeks before and she was caring for him after he was released from the hospital. So we chatted with the adoption worker.
This agency does have a kind of specialty in placing African American (AA) children with families. I don't remember how it happened, but we got onto the subject of race. I remember telling her that where we live in the Pacific Northwest, it really is laid back in terms of race. It's just a strange enough place that even if my family seems weird to someone else, they also seem weird.
And she said this, which are the words I hear repeated in my head a lot, "The majority of our AA children we place with families in the Pacific Northwest. You have to remember this is still The South. People still get burning crosses in their front yards here." We went onto to talk about that even if a white family wanted to adopt an AA child, most of the time they don't want to invite that kind of attention. It made me sad.
Jump ahead about 2 to 3 years. My hubbie is actively looking for a PhD program and finds a potentially good one in Louisville, KY. We talked about whether we would sell our house or rent it, how long it would take, etc. The words repeated themselves in my ears again, and I reminded my husband, Kentucky was part of the south. We needed to take the racial temperature of what it would be like if our colorful family went outside and played ball in our front yard or walked in the grocery store or the mall. I asked him to talk very candidly to the director of the program about what are racial attitudes like in Louisville. I also had the idea of all of us flying out there and walking around, and seeing the tone of the stares in people's eyes. Isn't it a shame we had to and still have to think that way?
I have an AA friend who has explained to me that she actually does that to this day. If she travels for her work, she asks around to see what the racial climate is for her work, and decides what places to visit or museums to see based upon that. Again, crying shame.
This is where I got rattled in the last few days. A woman who lives on the coast of Oregon, and her adopted AA son got the nice little gift last weekend of a burning cross in their yard. Click here for the link.
It is so sad. The one light at the end of this....the neighbor who said, "If the law doesn't drive them out we will." It's a town of 200 people, I am sure someone knows something and at the very least, it won't be tolerated.
That woman in the interview could be me, and it just shakes me a bit. The repeated words came back, "there are still burning crosses in people's yards."
Yes, there are.
1 comment:
My hubby and I ever decide to move somewhere especially to a small town, we have talked about checking it out before we made a decision. I don't want any trouble my oldest or her siblings cause she is half african american. It is sad there a parts of the country that have racist in them still.
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