"Can I Just Ask?"

I don't know what is happening in the universe right now, maybe it was because we had a full moon last week but I keep getting asked the adoption questions that tend to get under my skin. One in particular. I need to rant.

I always start my rants with a little bit of a foundation. My family is rock solid. Recently we have had some discussions about adoption tax credits, and suddenly our six year old had a nightmare that he didn't have a family. As discouraging as that was, and it made for a long night, it also solidified to me....our kids are rock solid in their knowledge that we are a family and even little things like talking about adoption papers can shake that.

Now here is the rub.....kids hear adults talk about simple things like paperwork and they easily put a spin on it that something is "wrong" and a measure of doubt comes into their minds. Kids always personalize the negative, especially those things that pertain to them.

So if talking about something as impersonal as tax credits and adoption papers can mix up a little six year old's mind....imagine this scenario.

Standing with a group of adults while the kids are around us in their typical satellite sort of way and someone asks this question, "Are they brothers?"

I always give my scripted answer of, "Yes they are brothers, just not biologically related." The last time this scenario happened, the person actually kind of rolled their eyes at me.

Okay but maybe I should roll my eyes at you because you don't get the pleasure of going home and dealing with any aftershocks your curious question created that is none of your business.

Yes, I am irritated, and I am in a snarky mood this morning. But honestly, let's all agree that, just like biological families, adopted families come about in all kinds of shapes, forms and colors. It isn't necessary to know every mold every family came out of.

Especially if you're going to ask what may not seem like an earth shattering question to you.....rocks the world of kids. Imagine being a small kid and hearing two or three times a week, "Are they brothers?"

My kids are my kids. Protective mama came out this week. Hopefully we are on the back side of the moon phase.