Children don't see race....

Okay, cute picture at the pumpkin patch yesterday. I have a whole other post I am working on for that. I just like adding pictures.

Here is my next funny adoption story to share with you.

About a year ago, our family is at my inlaw's home. A good family friend, we'll call Olive, who is elderly, comes over. Olive brings a distant family member to play with the kids, she is a little girl who is about eight years old or so--I can't remember her name honestly, but let's call her Susie.

Olive whispers to the adults that Susie is going through some adoption issues. She is adopted, and was adopted as a baby by her aunt and uncle because birth mom was having trouble with the law, etc. Susie has realized recently what adoption is, voicing feelings of being rejected, etc. Olive wants us to know because Susie might say something, and we should know that. I appreciated that. Can you imagine if we didn't know and the following story played out?

Aside here--it is very very common for adoptees between the age of about 8 to 10 to suddenly have the emotional maturity to figure out how huge adoption is, what is means to them, and to suddenly feel loss from that. It is a phase, but shouldn't be ignored, and should be talked about, not shushed like it was when I was a girl. Very common feelings, and I am expecting it to happen to my kids, and I am ready to be open to discussing it with them, assuring them, loving them, etc.

Okay, so the kids have been playing for a couple of hours. Susie and JM in particular are playing really well together.

At one point, Susie comes and sits beside me on the couch, and takes a huge sigh.

I ask her, "How you doing? Are you getting a bit wiped out?
She says, "No, I am sad. I am adopted you know." (Again, imagine if Olive hadn't warned us.)

I say, "Susie, adoption isn't so bad. It's actually pretty special. What do you think?"
Susie says, "I don't think so. I don't know anyone else who is."

I say, "Really? You sure?"
Susies, "No one!"

My answer, "Did you know that JM and BH are adopted?"
Her face looks like Freddie Kruger just climbed out of my ear. She is shocked!
She hisses, "NO WAY!"

I hope you're laughing, because I could hardly contain myself.

The whole room burst into muffled giggles. Remember on my previous post where I got tagged--honest to goodness folks, kids do not see race. She kind of glances around wondering what is going on.

I talk to her just a little bit about how we think adoption is pretty special and lots of people are adopted. I tried to just make it positive for her. She seemed to lighten up a bit and went back to playing.

When her parents came by to pick her up, I gave them a quick summation of the conversation just in case she brought it up later. I assured them, I am not some weirdo adoptive mother, but just tried to assure Susie that she shouldn't be too sad about adoption, she is in good company. They appreciated it.