Why is Greg Boyd an important person in my life....

You may have noticed I have a link to a rockin' drummer dude under "blogs I read". If you click on that, you will get a huge myspace page all about Greg Boyd and what a cool drummer he is.

How did this homemaking, candle peddling mom get connected with this dude?

Greg and I went to high school together. He was one year ahead of me. So when I came in as a fresh faced sophomore, he seemed so much older to me. Greg was also one of the few African American (AA) at my school. He was so COOL! Not in an AA, false macho, hangin' pants, sort of way. He carried himself like Denzel Washington cool. Confident, going places, has goals and talents.

One talent I got to see first hand--his drumming. We had a rockin' drum line in high school and he was part of it. I was a member of the marching band with Greg and we went around and competed in marching band and drum line competitions. See the movie "Drum Line". It's definitely got the Hollywood spin on it, but that is what it was like.

Greg can drum. Oh my word, he can drum. I have one very clear memory in my head of him just dazzling all of us. One day after band practice, he tipped over the timpany. That is the big copper bottom drum used in orchestras to crescendo a big dramatic scene usually. He is doing Caribbean pan drumming on the bottom of the timpany, and it sounded so cool. Plus, it was so creative what he was doing. He absolutely dazzled the rest of us white bred kids who only read music--we didn't create it. I got a glimpse of his future in that moment.

If you check out his myspace page, you can see he has gone on to huge success in Europe after busting his chops in New Orleans jazz clubs making a name for himself. He also has been an innovator. Creating a new style of jazz plus Caribbean pan drums.

He and I had exchanged emails last year after he did a search for me. Here is a long series of emails he and I had last year. Greg's presence in my life 20+ years ago still has an impact on me today.

October 28, 2006

Greg Boyd!

Hello! This is AM, MC's little sister. Played clarinet in band, I was a sophomore when you were a junior. Is this helping? We just knew each other pretty much through band.

I just got your email from classmates.com. I saw a few months ago you sent me a little thing saying you had visited my profile to say “hi”.

I have wondered whatever happened to you, and when I saw your visit, I googled you, and check you out! You took the drumming thing pretty seriously! It gave me chills to see what you have accomplished. Congratulations to you!

You have no idea…but some pretty big life choices were made in my life in high school because of you, even though I know we barely knew each other. So it is SO cool to hear from you. Please let me know how you are doing, and what in the world is Denmark like!

AM

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Now that is amazing!!! Because, I had no idea who you were at first but now I do. Wow what were some of these life choices I would love to hear. That makes me feel so good that you say that. How is MC!!!

Gregory

P.S. Do you have a picture of that time??

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I knew you would ask me to tell you. It’s a bit of a long story and will seem quite shallow. Just remember, I was a young and unwise teenager. Long story….get ready…..I have thought about this a lot!

You may not remember this….but when I came to WHS as a fresh faced sophomore and started band, MC came around a few times, and you whispered in his ear that you thought I was cute. Well, of course, he told me that. And of course, I was thrilled! Greg Boyd likes me! I remember we flirted a bit through the rest of band that year and the next year, but that is all that happened. Now how that panned out in my family was different.

I was so excited that you thought I was cute, I told my mother. Big mistake. I was just bubbling over about this. She just looked at me with the most serious of faces (I remember this like it was yesterday) “AM, don’t do it.” I said, “What?” She said, “Don’t date him. You have no idea the pain you will cause yourself.” I just looked at her like she grew a tail. I had no idea what she was referring to at first. Then I walked away from that and thought a long time about it. Of course she meant that it was because you are African American, of course she thought I was going to marry you or something. I don’t know but it infuriated me. Lots of other things regarding race have come out since then…..but this was the first glimpse of her racism to me, so it shocked me.

... that day I remember making this huge decision (this seems trivial now but for little white girl who hadn’t been exposed to hardly anyone of color—this was huge for me)—race doesn’t matter at all for anything. And I HOPED you asked me out so I could push that envelope with her. You never did, so we avoided that tornado.

But why is that important for me today? Well, several years back I watched a very very good friend of mine go through a very painful thing. He is biracial and a very put together person, and very musical. You remind me of each other actually. He was dating a white gal, and her family absolutely put the stamp of “no” on them getting married because of his color. My word the man has his life put together—I’d marry him if I weren’t married at the time. He was a great guy, with lots of potential and a future. But he couldn’t change that about himself.

Step forward a few more years. My husband and I find ourselves not able to have kids. Long story short, we start working towards adopting kids. We are asked several times if race is important—and honestly each time, your face pops into my head. No, it’s not at all—because I made that decision long ago, and it’s a done deal. My husband is absolutely on the same page as me. In 2001, we adopted our first son, who is fully African American. And last year, we adopted our second son, who is too. Each time I am asked the rude question “Why did you adopt these kids?” your face comes to mind. When I see my older son who asks me all the time, and did just now while I was typing this, “Can I play my drums, Mom?” Your face comes to mind. If I hadn’t made that stand with my mother, as shallow as it seems now, I may have had to struggle with my decision to have my kids, and I would have missed out on the best kids God had intended for my family. Thank you, Greg Boyd, for thinking I was cute!!

Okay to answer your other questions….oh let's just cut out that long paragraph of me giving Greg an update on my dysfunctional family.....

Anyway, I need some morning coffee and need to get my day off the ground. I work from home, so definitely feel free to email anytime. How is Denmark?? Do you have a family?? Tell me about you!!

AM

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Wow all of that is so funny because you are right I did not think of asking you out but I must say I wanted to at the time. In fact I think it is in my diary somewhere that I wanted to. Parents can be funny.. Mine divorced some years back as well. It was not as traumatic as I thought it would end up being in that I was an adult at the time. Now things are different I have a family of my own my wife is Danish and we met while I was living in New Orleans. We just had a son his name is G and my wife's name is Lone. So many things are movin' along over here as well. There is not much time that goes by when I do not think of my life there in Colorado. Are you still living there? I think about it from time to time and remember how it was. I grew so much at the time. To be honest I had such a bad feeling about some the events that happened while in band but stayed wild about my music. So I decided to join the US Navy and try to go into the Navy Band., I succeded and moved to New Orleans eventually and leaving the military I started touring with several bands and really making a name for myself. I am still playing music and doing well here in Europe with it all and I have GOD to thank for that as well. Do know anything about MK?? I wonder what happened to her from time to time. I think she was my nemesis during that time:) Your kids look great!!! I feel so in awe that you are saying all of this because I had no idea that you had felt that way at the time. I was so busy trying to make something of myself that at times there was no time to dig deeper into things. Do you know anyone from that time at all. What kind of work from home do you do?

Gregory Boyd

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Greg and I also email/discuss how he was denied the drum major position to the girl, MK, his junior year because our band teacher was racist. He tells me how he really struggled with being angry. His parents were key figures in helping to deflect that. I took that to heart. One thing this world needs less of, angry AA men. I can't find the email on that, but it was powerful. I am so glad my words were words of encouragement.

I can also say, the best revenge is success. I am completely in awe of him now, what he has done with his music, his success, his family. I wholeheartedly recommend his music. I bought his CD last year and listen to it often at my computer.

God bless you, Greg Boyd!