Another reason why I am homeschooling next year...

I am so steaming mad right now, posting on the blog will be a good outlet for me.

Before school everyday, JM, has the opportunity to go in the school's gym and play with other kids. The school usually provides a few balls, and it's nice to visit with other parents. It is also something to do if you get to school early. We have done it quite a bit this year, last year we didn't.

It has been nothing but politics this year. The problem is boys will be boys. They play rough, they tackle, run, bump into things, skid into walls, etc. That is fine, but the school has to watch out for liability.

I got a call from JM's teacher in October that there were two complaints directed to JM. He is too rough with other kids. He has hurt them. Problem is, JM is about a head taller than his peers and quite strong. He doesn't just brush by other kids. His size makes it so that if he does brush by, he bumps their heads into walls. I took those complaints seriously, and have worked hard with JM about really keeping his hands to himself and watching out for others. It seems to have worked.

Other kid in JM's class, D. D has gone to school with JM since they were three year olds. His mom is the ultimate sports mom. She plays football with the boys, organizes teams, wears sport gear, etc. When JM was three her oldest daughter was in first grade. During gym time, her daughter would chase the three year olds and nail them over the head with her back pack. Sports Mom said nothing, and was in her own world chatting with other moms. I should have complained. Instead, I told JM to stay away from her. I regret so much not saying anything and this story is why. It would have made my credibility with what happened today much stronger. But that is the specific reason why we didn't do gym time when he was in kindergarten.

Today in gym time. Three kids are playing--JM, D and another boy, H. They are throwing two footballs around. I am playing with BH, and out of the corner of my eye, I see D or H get a football in the face. Remember, I have been warned my kid can be expelled if there are more incidents. I do a friendly call out, "Guys, just watch out for faces, K?" Sports Mom is deep in conversation with another mom, surprise.

Not even two minutes later, JM gets nailed in the face, and is rubbing his face saying "it stings!" I call out again, "Guys, that is twice in a couple of minutes. Let's be careful, K?" D says under his breath to me, "It didn't hurt him." I have no tolerance for kids who talk back. None. I say friendly, but a little more firmly, "No, but we still need to be careful. No faces, K?" I am absolutely mindful this is another person's child, and I don't need to be in their face. But I am also mindful, that I need to be absolutely consistent in being an example of being careful.

Sports Mom speaks. She says to me very directly and unhappy, "That wasn't necessary. He didn't do it on purpose."

Me: "No, I didn't say that. I said to be careful to all of them."
Sports Mom: "It still wasn't necessary. It's not like he did it on purpose."
Me: "I didn't say he did it on purpose. I said to be careful. Plus, D told me it didn't hurt. Obviously it did if JM is rubbing his face."

Sports Mom missed about half of my last sentence because she interrupted and just talked over me with "It wasn't necessary." That is one reason why she and I haven't been friends for the last four years, she just talks right over you. Even in a friendly conversation, forget saying anything, she keeps right on talking, and once she runs out of her topic, she starts repeating things. This time she is mad and is purposely talking over me. I ignore her, and thank goodness that school was starting and we had to head to the classroom.

Why am I mad? I stewed for it on the way home. The double standard. My kid has been told to be so careful. I have worked hard with him and he is getting the whole personal boundaries thing. This Sports Mom doesn't have the same rule, doesn't live by them, and obviously hasn't had the complaints I have had with my kid. She also thought it appropriate to not watch her kid, let her kid talk back to me, and embarrass me in front of others. I am done!

I call the school and I relay all of this to the principal. I am mad! I told her if I have to work with my kid on these kinds of complaints, then consider this an official complaint against her kid. I want her talked to just like I have been talked to about this very issue. The principal agreed, we all have the same rules. She wasn't too specific in what she was going to do right then and there. I am sure she needs to think about how to deal with Sports Mom. But I believe her when she says she will address it and look into it.

I have had to de-boy-ify my kid. He is rough and tumble and a lot of other kids aren't. I am sick of doing that to him. I am walking the fine line of not turning him into a pansy. I feel like I am fighting a huge system here. It's not just these people. I want my kid to be able to play football, take it in the face, and everyone be cool if he accidentally hits someone in the face. And vice versa. It's not that way. I am tired of feeling like a freak with my kid at this school. I want this school year to be over now.