You know, I get a lot of spam. I have had the same email address for over eight years, mainly because of my business. If I go changing it, then suddenly I lose contact with people. I get over one thousand spam messages a day. Each time I check my email, I skim my spam box to make sure I am not losing an important message from someone.
When I am as miserable as I have been the last few weeks between my illness, which I am over now, and my family, I see those sexually suggestive ones and just laugh....let me give you a sampling.....and my sarcastic answers I have in my head when I skim them.
"I won't forget last night"--My response: I would love to forget my kid having a fever induced nightmare and my husband throwing up. You sure you had the same night I had?
"People laugh at you." --My response: No kidding. I would too if they saw me a week ago. You should see my husband with an ice pack on his head.
"Help is on the way."--My response: Liar liar!
"Do you Want to Enlarge Your #*(#?"--My response: That spam is still going around? I don't have one to enlarge, don't want one either, thanks! Can we enlarge my sinus cavity? That is more useful to me right now and I miss the fact that it has only begun to function again.
"Best Way to Cure Yourself."--My response: That is really tempting to click on, though I won't because their idea of a cure and mine are worlds apart.
"Get a Naughty Date"--My response: How about if you babysit my sick family instead while I make a trip to the grocery store? That would really meet my needs better right now. Plus, it would give you a new line of work, and it sounds like you need one. Join the real world!
"Even Celebrities Use It"--So? Oprah is not my personal shopper.
1 comment:
You are killing me here! Too funny! Sounds like you have been thru in the last few weeks! This too shall pass!
In Christ,
angela
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