Finding new friends in old ones

I have had the strangest most God finger-printed thing happen this week than I have had in a long time. I'll tell you about the other one later.

Friend from years ago.....KB. We reconnect over email. I hadn't heard from her in a couple of years, but I knew a couple of years ago something wasn't right. We didn't get Christmas cards from her and her family, etc. But--our Christmas cards never came back. It was one of those things, I feared we might lose touch. I think she would also be one of the first to admit when we did live close to each other back in the 90's, it was difficult. She would tell you it was difficult for her to be her, and difficult for me to be her friend. But we managed with a few bruises and prayers along the way.

Anyway, so she updates me. I want to protect her heart, so I won't tell you the details. But suffice it to say, she has been under a therapist's care for a diagnosed mental illness. I am so proud of her, and as I figure this all out, the difficulty we have back in the 90's makes so much sense now! So we are updated and keeping in touch--just in about the last ten days.

Okay, so Tuesday, I get a call from a current girlfriend of mine, JP. She has been a wreck lately. I have been doing my best to help her to deal with a lot of anger she has about some pretty nasty issues with her parents. It is justifiable anger. Anyway, she calls me telling me the night before she was ready to commit suicide. She said the classic words, "I am so tired of hurting. I am so tired of being in pain."

My old counseling skills from the mid 90's kicked in. I figured out she wasn't suicidal at the moment, but the evening before. It scared her. I was immediately concerned for her safety right now. I told her to call her therapist right now, and tell the therapist everything she just told me. I told her, "JP, she may put you on meds to stabilize you." JP says, "I don't want meds. I think they are a bandaid to what is underneath." I told her, "Honey, you're bleeding right now. We need triage and we need to stop the immediate bleeding. Let's hope if you're given meds they are temporary, but honey, you have to get stabilized."

She heard that and told me later those words stuck to her like glue. I made her promise to call me right back when she had talked to the therapist. I was prepared to go pick her up and check her into a psychiatric hospital. I didn't tell her that, but she did indicate that she was prepared to do whatever the doctor said. It really scared her that she really could have hurt herself and was at such a state.

JP calls me back. Can I just say, I love that when my phone rings, my two year brings it to me. Sometimes I don't hear it because I am in the basement folding clothes, and here he comes toddling up to me, "Here, Momma." Give him a big, wet kiss! It was JP telling me the update.

Doctor said this--JP probably has the same disorder my friend, KB, has. And wouldn't you know it, I had just gotten the full update on KB. I directed JP to KB's personal blog on her ongoing struggle with this thing. That sends chills up my spine as to the timing of this whole thing.

Today, JP calls me to update me. She is on meds, and feels a lot better. She also tells me that KB's blog "is a breath of fresh air." JP tried to post and was having problems but said, "Please tell KB that her suffering is not wasted. I got a good look at what my life could be like if I don't deal with this now. If I fight it, don't treat it, I will have a lot more to lose down the road. Please tell her that."

I have cried over this a lot this week. I cry for KB because I know this has been a moment to moment burden to her for a long time. I know that she has a lot to lose even if she never has another problem with this ever again. Life is tenuous right now, all in the name of recovery. I cry for JP because she almost lost her life this week. I cry when I see that by hearing about KB, there is beauty in it. Beauty in that? (Say it sarcastically, and you'll get the irony of it.) JP found "a breath of fresh air" in someone else's pain. That is God. Only God brings beauty out of our ashes and filth. And I was witness to it from the sidelines, and that is beautiful for me, and I count it a privilege.

I thank you, Lord. You are Great. We miss your movement in our lives a lot, and yet, we can see You clearly in days like today. Please bless these beautiful women as much as You have blessed me this week.