Today was JM's first soccer game and here he is with his game face on. I just looked at this picture and about fell over. He looks like such an adult! He also took the picture quite maturely. Generally, when I ask him to smile I get the huge, cheesy smile that looks ridiculous, yet captures the essence of being a six year old boy.
Not today. He put on his game, scored a few goals, blocked a few attempts, and had a great time.
From what I hear. I couldn't go. Lovely business meeting tonight. I am still grieving Jessica, and not myself. Maybe it's better that I didn't go. But instead....
I also had the most unfortunate position tonight of telling a friend about Jessica's death. She had no idea. Life sucks folks. I never ever ever again want to be in the position of having to tell someone one of their dearest friends has died. Ever. It was horrifying. AP, if you read this, I am so sorry to be the one to tell you. I am glad you heard it from me and not some other way that would have really hurt you. But I am so sorry!
My heart bleeds for you tonight. You will always remember tonight, you will always remember this day as the day you heard this horrible news. You will remember me as the one who told you. I am praying for your grief and hurt tonight. I pray God's presence, His healing and grace for you. I cry tears for you tonight, just like the person who told me a few days ago cried tears for me as I was hit with the news.
So I post a grand picture of my son about to play his first soccer game of the season. Redemption. I need to look at youthful people, and have joy and hope in them.
It is comforting to have the familiarity of the soccer season, and his youthful game face. I need those things right now. I need comfort right now. I need hope.
One of the best places to look--at our children.
I know that is so not Christian-like. I know my hope is in the Lord, and He will guide me. I know that. I need flesh right now--something to hug. I thank God for my kids, and that God's plans for them are for the future.
It's hope.
4 comments:
I wouldn't call that un-Christian... It is part of God's plan for family to comfort one another. I wish I could give you a hug right now.
Thank you. I'll get to see you Saturday right?? I'll take a delayed hug, that is for sure. I will also continue to post updates about Jessica. Specifically, she and her husband were about to open an art gallery in Stayton to showcase local artist's work. At 27! I wasn't that ambitious at 27. Her family is putting together a scholarship fund for local students in her name. I will post the details on that as I get them. She was a special woman.
Thank you AMG, I am glad that I found out from you, even if it was a little random (who would have thought a party I had would make a connection like this over a year later).
I had a rough night, I kept remembering that I'd been planning to call her to get together again.. That sucks to know, but I can take that and apply it to the rest of my friends and family as well, so that I do not loose touch with those that mean so much to me.
Nice to see another adoptive mom blogging, I blog a bit as well :) *I have um 3 or 4 different blogs haha*
http://confabulationsbyme.blogspot.com/
I referenced you as AP, but we'll go with your blog name of Natryn. Please check out her blog! Please see the amazing connection between Jessica's tragic passing and adoption. My heart seriously goes out to your husband, please please give him my heartfelt regards, prayers and thoughts.
I truly see your point....don't put off today, especially contacting loved ones, what needs to be done. Thank you!
Honestly, I can't wait to see you again. I think we might have a really nice hug, and I could use that right now.
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