The Heart of Man

Little background for you. We have new neighbors that moved in last February. We rejoiced when they arrived. The people before them were difficult. And here is how that story goes:

B owned the house, and got to brag that she was only the second owner of a fairly old house. Over the course of the then eight years they were our eighbors, B had several girlfriends come and go. Yes, B is a lesbian and there is quite a gay/lesbian population in the city we live. In the final years B lived in the house, it was her and her girlfriend, T.

Aside here. I am a Christian, but I am not mean. Here is my thoughts on this--Romans 1 is pretty clear. God does not approve of homosexuality at all. What is my role in this? I have lesbians as neighbors. My role is to be an example of Christ. Over the years, we have attempted to be neighborly, with a fairly cool response from them. Over the course of my adulthood, I have several gay/lesbian friends. I just talked to one of them before sitting down to write this. I meet gay/lesbians all the time in my work, and we all get along fine! Why? Because I don't think God has given me the authority to walk up to a complete stranger and start an argument, I am called to be Christlike. I am called to be nice, friendly, loving, etc. It has stretched me, believe me, but it has opened up some amazing conversations that have caused a lot of miracles to come to people, myself included.

Then it came to a peak I think in 2004. It was an election year, and on the ballot in our state was an amendment to keep marriage as man and woman, and not for gay/lesbian couples. Well, as a Christian, I endorse that. Again, not my position to start drawing lines and making enemies, but I/we felt the need to put an election sign on our front lawn. You would have thought we put a swastika. It is an election year, and we have the right as Americans to exercise our right to free speech.

B and her new girlfriend, T, galvanized the neighborhood. Suddenly there are opposing signs all around us. Few words were said--it was all actions, dirty looks, we say 'hi'--they look away. One neighbor suddenly wouldn't let her daughter play with JM. A sign is put up on an abandoned lot opposing our sign. Our sign disappears one day. Good thing we had an extra. Yes, several illegal things happened. All we (my husband and I) could think was, All we did was put up a sign. For a group that claims "tolerance" quite a bit, we certainly were not feeling tolerated. We were amazed. The silence was tense.

Then it got worse. One day, I hired a couple of neighborhood boys to mow our lawn. They had the most rickety lawn mower, with no bag on it but needed one, and were mowing the front lawn. I looked out the door, and one of them was walking up to the porch, looking mortified. He sheepishly asked me for a broom. You see, some of the grass from his bagless mower had blown on B's driveway, and T was spitting mad. She had yelled at them, which frightened this poor boy who is just trying to mow a lawn.

Could you imagine being him? I went out, and she repeated to me, in the same manner, what she had said to him (which is not repeatable). Well, I am bigger than him, and have a more creative vocabulary, and I was sick of this. In one sentence, I shut her down (what I said is repeatable, yet highly creative). The boys were sweet, and swept the grass. I mean really! She is over-the-top mad about grass! I understand if she came out and said, "Hey, can we make sure this gets cleaned up before you go home?? Great! Thanks!" No, she blew her top at boys who were no more than 12, taking her anger for us out on them. How incredibly mean spirited and inappropriate. This was the first words really revealing to us what was under all the tension for quite some time.

I tipped those boys quite a bit. I apologized to them, and I have never seen them again. If your kids came home with a story like this, would you let them mow my lawn again?

Anyway, we knew B had owned the home forever, and really, we thought this is what it would be like for a long time. Suddenly, April of 2006, a "For Sale" sign went up. I have to admit, I was praising God. It didn't sell right away, and the price came down quite a bit. The neighborhood gossip came back to us they were moving because the "neighborhood has become too conservative." The neighbor with the little girl moved as well. Suddenly, the tension is lifting.

Our neighbors, E and M, across the street are the best! They stayed out of the election sign fray. I am talking to E one day while B's house was on the market. I told her some of the things I have shared here. As a non-Christian, she says, "I would think we could all agree to disagree, don't you? I don't like that the neighborhood was turned against you based upon an election topic." I agreed. We have always tried to be neighborly, and understanding that not everyone agrees on everything. I so appreciated her assurance. We are great friends to this day.

Here is the miracle: I have a chat with E today. She ran into B who came by to give an extra key to the new neighbors. Come to find out--B and T have gained custody of a four year old family member because the child's parents are in trouble with the law. It seems that now that B and T have a child of their own to protect and care for, they have now experienced the "mama bear" protectiveness we all have for our kids (and I felt for the two boys that lawn mowing day). I also think a little conservatism comes with parenthood. Suddenly you want wholesomeness, basics, and simplicity for your kids. E tells me this has kicked in for B and T.

Also, these words came out of B's mouth, "We really regret moving away now." It is one thing to think that, but to share it openly with the neighborhood gossip, knowing it would probably come back to us--well that was a peace offering to me. You have to remember, it was 8 years of tension and dirty looks, and in 8 months they have realized that we were not all that bad. In fact, our kids would have probably played well together. God has impressed me with this one.

I am also thankful for my aging process. In my youth, I would not have let a lot of the things go that I did from B and T. I have learned one thing in my old age--time. Time has an amazing healing effect on things. Not always, but in this situation, it's amazing how some passage of time, a few changed circumstances, and suddenly, there is the changing of a person's heart. If my youthful anger had gotten involved in that, this would not have the sweet ending that it does.

God moves in the hearts of man. That is a sheer miracle! I will continue to pray for B and T. I also am thankful that God has placed that child in their care.