Pets and stuff

Had a nice discussion today with a friend who just moved back to my area after being in California for a year. She is home now. California wasn't home for her, sorry to my California friends! I have brought two of you back here, I am sure the rest will follow!

She, her husband, and child just acquired two basset hound puppies. Of course we had to go visit them today. So cute! Dunking their ears in their water bowls, tackling, running, stepping on their ears, tumbling down stairs because their legs are short, so fun!

Here is what was concluded by the end of the day:

Fact, Americans spend more on pet products than most small country's national economy. I read an article a few years ago by a man from, I believe Thailand, who was rather bitter about that fact.

I realized a few things after reading his article. I didn't think much about it until we got a dog and I started noticing all the Halloween costumes people now put their dogs in. I also realized when I was a little girl, the local pet store was in the mall in the smallest space available. When we had a cat when I was a little girl, the vet never suggested we give it a $350 dental treatment.

Now I find costumes for every sized dog every Halloween. I also find that pet stores are the size of a grocery store with several national chains. I also find that when I do go to the vet, they recommend so many extra services that seem extreme to me. And I always think of that article.

So I say it today. I promise my dog (or cat for that matter) will never wear a costume. If they wear anything, it will be a collar with a license on it. I promise my pets will not have extraordinary, extreme vet visits. I know that is a personal call for each pet owner, so let's agree that is where the responsibility lies. I promise to vaccinate my pets with the basic vaccines that keep them healthy and licensed. I promise to feed them decent food that is not bought at a pet boutique but can be found in a fifty pound bag at Costco. I promise to take reasonable efforts to relieve their pain, ie aspirin for my dog. I will bath and brush them occasionally with a brush that is less than five dollars at the drug store. I promise to not call a dog or cat psychic or massage therapist. I promise to not paint my dog's toenails. I promise not the buy food that costs more than an average meal I feed my family. I promise that I walk my dog regularly on a normal leash that doesn't come with a remote. I promise to scoop poop regularly, for both dog and cat. I promise to give my dog cheap dental cleansing bones (also at Costco) and not get a $350 quarterly dental treatment, same for the cat.

I promise that I am a wise pet owner that realizes God gave us animals to watch over and care for. He also gave us fellow human beings that are made in His image, and worthy of more of our attention.

I want that man I read about in Thailand to know I heard his message. People, especially those in more dire conditions that our pets, need our attention.

My Thoughts About Haiti

A few have asked why I put that wonderful Haitian orphanage on my links of adoption agencies. I just came across a newsletter in my mail today solidifying why.

Long long story--in the midst of our adoptions we seriously considered adopting from Haiti. Lots of reasons why, and those are still valid reasons to this day. We would not rule it out. As you read this story, you might find yourself wanting to adopt from Haiti.

In the midst of looking into Haiti, we found Maranatha Ministries, and have been nothing but impressed since. They run a top notch orphanage in a country where substandard and squalor are the norm. I got on their newsletter list, and receive regular ones in the mail and a weekly one via email.

Typical adoption situation goes something like this--malnourished birth mother gives birth to an underweight, malnourished baby. Mother's milk does not come in because she is malnourished. Or, in some tragic cases, mother perishes in child birth. Baby is vulnerable to losing it's life because of it's condition at birth. Many times desperate family members scramble to find an orphanage that will save the baby's life. To purchase baby formula in Haiti is like asking someone for a brick of gold, no joke. It's is premium commodity. So babies die, and they die a lot.

They are also discarded. A few years ago, when I first started getting emails, I got the most frantic one of all. A baby boy was found in a pig trough down a ravine. Yes, a pig will devour a baby, and had a few days before. I know--it's horrifying. This little boy was rescued by someone and brought to Maranatha Ministries. I didn't hear anything for a long time, but I prayed for that little boy. I was so thankful to hear he was alive, but did he survive?

I finally posted on Maranatha's message board just asking what happened. His adoptive mother sent a quick email saying her family had just adopted him and he was a plump little boy living in Arkansas. That was about two years ago.

I will type out the latest story from Maranatha Ministries most recent newsletter written by his adoptive mother:

"Yesterday at church, Zak asked me if he could pray, I said yes. He said "I want to pray on the floor." I told him, "Okay." Now, no one else was doing this, however, in the past he has observed two young men doing this at church. I watched this four year old lay face down on the floor with his face in his hands praying. Tears began to roll down my face, I was just in awe of the Holy Spirit and how this little guy was moved and how he responded. He did this several times throughout worship. He even knelt and put his face down on the floor placing it into his hands with his little behind sticking up in the air. How precious this was! I myself have never done this at church, I sat feeling so blessed and thought "is this how Jesus' mother felt as she watch her son do things like this?"

I am so blessed to have a son that loves the Lord as he does. He always wants to pray and talk about Jesus. He is so thankful for everything. He even thanks the Lord for Mommy's car and going places.

Zak came from a country that struggles in so many ways and a heritage of voodoo. He serves the Lord with no inhibitions. He serves the Lord with all his heart and I know without a doubt in my heart and mind that he was spared for a mighty purpose. I feel so honored to be his mother. As I write this e-mail tears pour from my eyes, yesterday will forever be burned in my memory. God is so awesome!"

For some reason, God has put on our family's heart a burden for Haiti. I don't know that we'll ever adopt from there. But we still support Maranatha Ministries. Don't be surprised if sometime in October or November, I start pestering you. I will pester you for money. For my local friends, I will pester you for baby formula you might have. Or maybe those formula coupons. Why? I do an annual formula drive and I send it right to this orphanage.

I make no money on this believe me. I use all the money and go to Costco and buy their name brand formula. My youngest son was raised on it! Plus, it is seriously cheap. Some folks give me Walgreens coupons, and I'll go use money to buy their label brand. I then pay the bucks (usually over $100) to have it sent to John McHoul's (director of Maranatha Ministries who has lived in Haiti since the 70's) son, Sam, who lives in Florida. If I time it right, Sam can take it to Haiti where he visits his family for Christmas.

They also use some canned items. Peanut butter, macaroni and cheese, etc. I also check with John first to see if there is something they need especially.

So, if you ever want to know why we support Haiti, for children like Zak. Just click on the link, then click on photo gallery, and you will see the happiest kids in the Caribbean. Yet, they live in a country where it's a daily survival for everyone.

If you are encouraged like I am by this great place, feel free to sign up to receive John's emails. You will be inspired. He also has a pretty good sense of humor about living in Haiti. You can also receive their monthly paper newsletters as well.

If you do nothing now, that is fine. But give me $20 (two big cans of powdered baby formula) closer to Christmas, and hey, you have literally saved a baby's life. All prayers appreciated too.

I am fried and I am excited

I just got off the plane from my company's big, annual, national conference they have every year. This year it was in Houston, TX at the Toyota dome. It was awesome.

Here are some random thoughts I have had this week.

I love seeing other cities, meeting new people, seeing airports, etc. It was a lot of fun. I enjoy the aspect of the travel. I love doing this with girlfriends of mine. There are several women who I have become longtime friends with in this business. Going to conference with them every year is something I look forward to.

In fact, my last blog on blondes was done in the hotel room one night, just brainstorming with the girlfriends. Plus, we couldn't find any new program that didn't have anything but garbage about those blonde, overindulged, twits. So, we funneled our silliness and frustration, and it was a collaboration. Thanks to them, I think that was a mighty fine post.

I look forward to local food. We had a hoot of a Texas style barbecue at a sports bar in Houston, just last night. That seems freaky to me as I sit at my office desk right now. To think "I was drinking a margarita and eating pulled pork twenty four hours ago...." It was yummy and fun.

I love getting recharged in my business and getting the new tools and new programs to keep me going for another year until we meet again. From a business aspect, I can't miss it. My main reason for going is the new things they offer.

I love the company I rep for. They care about us and I mean it. They take care of their reps and have a "pay it forward" mentality. They consistently develop programs to fund raise for the American Cancer Society. That is especially meaningful to me because I have lost several friends in the last few years to cancer. A new member of my team just had a pretty major skin cancer lesion removed a few weeks ago.

Every city they hold conference in, they pass a bucket for the local Ronald MacDonald House charities. This year, they raised $25,000. That is just awesome.

I am too old for some things. An aspect of this week was ruined for me because I was in a hotel room with someone who was hard to get along with. It happens. It's happened in the past at these conferences. Not always to me, but it happens. It will happen in the future, and we go on. It's all good!

I also caught my toddler's nasty cold right as the conference started. Conference already takes it out of you physically. You're up late visiting with friends. You sleep in an unfamiliar bed. The morning meetings begin early. You don't get your normal rest. I was even further behind on that because of this silly cold. Of course, now that I am home, I am feeling it lift, although I still have the deep Demi Moore voice, and I'll keep that for a few days.

Aside: You will find out I am a huge "Friends" fan. Remember the episode where Phoebe got sick and loved her really deep voice. She was singing all sultry and sexy. Then she lost it and she was all bummed because her singing went back to normal. That is where I am at in my illness.

I was on an elevator this morning in Houston at five a.m. to catch the shuttle to the airport with my buddies. Three a.m. my local time at home. I am standing there counting the bags under my eyes. Two young guys in the elevator. One says, "You guys are all leaving so late. Why so late?" Keep in mind, there are 6,000 of us, we take over the downtown of a city when we are there. If you just happen to have checked into the same hotel as us, well, we will over take the restaurants, shops, shuttles, taxis, and bars. Your stay is definitely marked by all us reps in every door you darken. So obviously, these guys have run into my kind before. I say to him, "Late? It seems early to me?" scratchily, in my non-morning person voice. He says, "Oh yeah, well why so early." I told him "We're not all going at once. This lobby will be full of us hogging the taxis to the airport all day." Then he tried to get candles from me. Yes, we all hand out candles where ever we go. I say to him "I am sorry, really, I have given all of mine out. I am out of them." He whispers this, "Oh come on. I know you have some. Give me some candles." I answer, "Sorry, this isn't crack. I am out of them. Have a great day."

It was cool to see Houston. The last time I was in Houston, my husband and I were adopting our first son. That was the airport we flew into to scoop him up into our family. It's a special place for me. I said a few prayers as I looked across the skyline thinking of his birthmother. I know for a fact she thinks of him daily. My prayers are that she has all the abundance in her life that she gave us with JM. I pray that by choosing adoption, she has the opportunities available to her that a baby would have postponed. I pray that she has abundance in her life because she chose to give life to a baby when it's really easy to choose abortion and God is blessing her. Those were my prayers for her as I gazed over the Houston skyline. Those are my prayers for her often when I think of her sacrifice. I have nothing but respect and honor for her, and visiting Houston put that in the front of my thoughts all week. Please send a quick prayer of blessing and abundance for her if you can, she deserves it.

Suffice it to say, I was glad to get home. I am glad my oldest son couldn't stop hugging me today. I am glad that I got a four hour nap this afternoon on my new pillow top mattress. I am glad my husband gave me several huge hugs. I am glad to be in my messy office no longer in email withdrawal.

It's good to be home.

Blondes Without Consequences

Okay, I have to address this stupidity. I am so sick of the interchangeable blondes, let's call her LyndsayBritneyParisNicole, or LBPN.

Click here for the latest on blondes from Hollywood. I am so sick of it. Especially in this article. Lyndsay's mother all concerned. Well that makes us all feel better! Lyndsay's mother parties with her in an effort to recapture her youth.

This is what makes me mad....we have men and women dying in Iraq, yet this crap makes the headlines. We have dying heroes, and that is what is most newsworthy.

This makes me mad.....people are giving this chick alcohol to the point of being an alcoholic, without punishment. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor is a felony in some states.

What makes my friend mad.....her thirteen year daughter is enamored by these bimbos. They are in all the magazines, and still get roles in teeny bopper movies marketed to her daughter. And they are splashed in the evening news drunk.

What else makes me mad....what the heck is that alcohol anklet doing for Lyndsay? It's supposed to detect alcohol in a person's perspiration. On tonight's news, Lyndsay's drunk, in a bikini, wearing the dumb bracelet. Tax dollars at work. Send the bill to Lyndsay, 'cause it's a waste of our money.

What makes me mad.....at least Lyndsay has her undies on.

What else makes me mad.....Britney is a mom! And Kevin Federline....I mean Kevin Federline, pillar of the community, Kevin Federline....is concerned about her mothering skills. Oh my gawd! Kevin Federline who hasn't worked a day in his life....I need to stop.

What else makes me mad.....What has Paris done in her life to deserve celebrity status? Can't think of anything....shows up to premieres....buys chihuahas.....makes a fool of herself with Nicole on "Simple Life". Oh I remember! She has celebrity status because she has sex tapes all over the internet. Make mom proud!

What else makes my friend mad....the money! So much money in the hands of fools. Money that could be spent on worthy things. Homelessness, disease research, starvation, saving children. Better yet, pick a Hollywood charity. Save Darfur! No more blood diamonds in South Africa, whatever! Spend it on anything but drugs and 10 carat diamond collars for the poodles. Waste of resources.

Here is what burns me too.....this huge extravagant lifestyle of stupidity is exported. When people watch television internationally and see American television--that is what they see. They see Britney without undies, Lyndsay drunk with an ankle bracelet on, Paris crying after being sentenced in court, etc. Right now on my TV, CNN is reporting that Paris is taking surfing lessons to better herself. What a pile of hooey. And we wonder why other countries hate America.

I am encouraged as I watch the public respond to the Michael Vick idiocy. The protests make me proud of our communities. In the past, I have been discouraged as I hear of famous athletes beating their girlfriends, drug charges, attempted murder charges, etc. Yet, the public seems to be silent. Thanks to all of you who have protested ad nauseum to relieve him of the priviledge of playing NFL football.

Let our voices be heard about the blondes. They need to be stopped.

What we do for our colorful family

What do I do for my family that is different? Honestly, a lot of things no differently than most families. Some things we do very intentionally different. Here comes the list:

Kids books that don't have all caucasian children. We want them to have at least a multicultural mix of kids. It's not easy. Although Scholastic book orders from schools are wonderful. We have a pretty impressive collection of kid's books.

We obviously have an African nativity scene at Christmas. Historians agree, at least the wise men were of African descent. Mary and Joseph were middle Eastern, and not blonde with blue eyes. JM argued with me pretty relentlessly last Christmas that our nativity was "wrong". It disheartened me.

We look for movies with good African American role models. "Radio", "Remember the Titans", "Glory Road" to name a few. Especially now since JM loves sports, he will watch them.

For kids specific media, we absolutely love Bill Cosby's "Little Bill" on Nickelodean. Good luck trying to find any of those episodes on anything but VHS. There are only a few available. I find that quite interesting and really want to know why Nickelodean hasn't marketed "Little Bill" products like every single other program they have.

JM is really liking Corbin Bleu from the Disney Channel too. Great role model, and the dude can dance. I also like that his music, and all that comes with Corbin's movies from Disney, is fairly benign. We will have to start addressing some of the totally offensive lyrics that come with some hip hop and rap. Although, I fully listened to my entire Nickelback album last week, rock has it's lyric issues as well. Let's just put it this way, not all of Nickelback's songs make it to the airwaves for a reason. But Corbin Bleu has been a great African American role model for my son. "Jump In" is a great movie for him.

Here is the fun one--this little white girl learned how to corn row hair! Yep! I found a gal who was proficient in it and agreed to teach me. Bought a mannequin head and a bunch of hair care products not suited at all for my hair and we braided that mannequin head like crazy. She taught me well. I braided BH, our youngest, quite a bit his first year.

Consequently, we familiarize ourselves with African American traditions. One of them specifically, not to cut a baby's hair for the first year of their life. Why? Because of how curly it typically is, you can create a lifetime of ingrown hairs by cutting it early. Letting it grow out a year gives the adult hair time to come in without curling into the scalp. Interesting huh? Hard to accomplish when your baby comes with a full head of hair. Yes, that picture of his is at eight months old, and a full head of hair. It's cute, alright. Trying combing it.

We also really take seriously the month of February and African American history month. Then we start talking about Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, slavery, the Civil Rights movement, etc. As they get a little older, we certainly will go to several of the events in our area that have speakers, activities, etc.

A book I picked several years ago for the book club I belong to "Twelve Years a Slave" by Soloman Northrup. I absolutely recommend it, and when JM is a smidge older we are going to read it. It's the true story of a slave that was kidnapped in upstate New York in the 1840's and sold into slavery in Louisiana. By the grace of God, he was freed twelve years later. This is his narrative. It is considered one of the best slave narratives next to Frederick Douglass's in terms of accuracy. Amazing story. Tragically, Soloman died in 1860, when slavery was abolished. He didn't live much longer after being freed either. Being a slave took a huge physical toll on his body, and he speaks to that in his narrative.

Anyway, you can see it gets pretty comprehensive quickly. We are a colorful family and would be amiss to not put our children's culture in front of them. It's also a great learning experience for us.

Bad Press for Adoption

Oh my word! Here is craziness personified! Read this article first, then if you're not sick to your stomach, feel free to read what I have to say about it.

I know that domestic adoptions get a bad rap. I get the question all the time, "Are you afraid the biological parents are coming back someday." My answer, "No". Without completely boring you with a lot of legalities, unless a birth mother can claim that my adoption agency and any of their caseworkers, my husband or myself coerced them into placing their baby with us--it's a done deal. When a birth mother, and a birth father, are standing there with a caseworker, getting ready to sign their termination of parental rights, a good caseworker usually says things like "Are you sure? Do you understand that by signing this.....? Do you know that you have no recourse after signing this?" There are witnesses to this little conversation because we want everyone to know and be witness to the fact that no one was coerced. Caseworker then takes custody of the baby.

That conversation is tense, tear filled, and difficult. That is why we had three adoptions fall through before our second son, BH, came into our arms. It was at that moment I just described where it fell apart. Why? Because a birth mother has the right to change her mind. As difficult at it was (ask anyone who was around us, it was horrifying) I understand that a birth mother has the right to change her mind--before she signs that all important piece of paper. After that, well....then we have situations like this.

I can also say this--both biological families of my kids know what state we live in, and that is it. They do not know any identifying information about us at all. First names only. That is on the advice and counsel of our caseworkers. Is that how all adoptions are? No, but you can request that and make that part of your agreement, which we did. By the way, both bio families didn't want excessive contact, so identifying information would be moot. In other words, be wise and know you can make your desires for "openness" known and request that. I know a lot of adoptive parents. I don't know any of them that meet with the bio parents of their kids. If that baby described in that article was my adoptive kid, bio mother would not know where I live or even my last name. If she wanted to contact us, she would need to send a message through our attorney or adoption agency.

Would that be so bad if they did want to contact us? Not at all. If either one of them wanted something from us that was reasonable (ie extra pictures, home video, updates, maybe a phone call) we are beyond happy to give it to them. Why? They gave us a piece of their soul when they gave their baby to us. We want to honor that decision, and one way we can do that is be reasonable to any request they make. Have they made any requests? No.

My point in that story, if that birth mother wants to change her mind--there are legal ways about it. The irony is this--does she think by kidnapping a baby at gunpoint, a judge will say "You're right. You should have this baby now"? I predict that baby will be returned to the adoptive parents, and this birth mom has some kidnapping charges coming her way.

Why? Because courts don't waver anymore, like the stories you heard 10+ years ago. Toddlers taken away from the only parents they knew, custody battles, etc. You don't hear that garbage anymore because of rock solid legislation keeping that from happening.

Thank you to the police agencies who didn't take sides or stop and think twice about whether they should go get this baby! That is a whole another blog. Can of worms!

I have never been postpartum, but that comes to mind as well in this scenario.

If I can say this to anyone who is considering adoption, or reads things like this and say "no way!" and it just adds fuel to your already "I couldn't handle that"--please think again. Stories like this are in the news for a reason--they are preposterous, outlandish, and newsworthy. Over 30,000 adoptions a year are done in the United States. One bad apple does not a bad experience make.

Kids need homes.

PS The picture above is the day we took custody of our youngest, way back in 2005. Can you tell I just got back from Hawaii? Nice tan huh?

Two year olds

I actually like two year olds better than 3 or 4 year olds. They are still quite innocent and their talking is the cutest thing. When they are 3 and 4, well....you know, they have mastered talking, and beginning to work on sarcasm and talking back. Not so cute anymore.

Here are some of the cute things my two year old says:

"Moke" means milk.

"Ya yo" means yellow

"Pa cake" means pancake

"Beacon" is bacon

"Petty cole" means pretty cool.

"Butt flies" means butterflies

"Buddies" means birdies

Consequently, "Big bud" means Big Bird

"Ucky Moster" is Cookie Monster

"A pane" means airplane

"Gup hug" means group hug

"Pug" means plug, which is the pacifier

"Memmie" means Clementine our dog

"Tab Ta" means Tabitha our cat

"El em em em" means lemonade, and he doesn't know to stop

"Deuce" means juice, I think that is universal two year old.

"Gawk corn" means popcorn

"Ache boad (say it like 'toad')" is skateboard

Here's a hard on for me to type for you, "Mote eh icle" is motorcycle

And the best one:

"I ya you mo mush!" means I love you so much.

PS I just rearranged the settings. Anyone can post a comment now...I just get to moderate it first. So you don't have to become a google person if you want to comment.

Finding new friends in old ones

I have had the strangest most God finger-printed thing happen this week than I have had in a long time. I'll tell you about the other one later.

Friend from years ago.....KB. We reconnect over email. I hadn't heard from her in a couple of years, but I knew a couple of years ago something wasn't right. We didn't get Christmas cards from her and her family, etc. But--our Christmas cards never came back. It was one of those things, I feared we might lose touch. I think she would also be one of the first to admit when we did live close to each other back in the 90's, it was difficult. She would tell you it was difficult for her to be her, and difficult for me to be her friend. But we managed with a few bruises and prayers along the way.

Anyway, so she updates me. I want to protect her heart, so I won't tell you the details. But suffice it to say, she has been under a therapist's care for a diagnosed mental illness. I am so proud of her, and as I figure this all out, the difficulty we have back in the 90's makes so much sense now! So we are updated and keeping in touch--just in about the last ten days.

Okay, so Tuesday, I get a call from a current girlfriend of mine, JP. She has been a wreck lately. I have been doing my best to help her to deal with a lot of anger she has about some pretty nasty issues with her parents. It is justifiable anger. Anyway, she calls me telling me the night before she was ready to commit suicide. She said the classic words, "I am so tired of hurting. I am so tired of being in pain."

My old counseling skills from the mid 90's kicked in. I figured out she wasn't suicidal at the moment, but the evening before. It scared her. I was immediately concerned for her safety right now. I told her to call her therapist right now, and tell the therapist everything she just told me. I told her, "JP, she may put you on meds to stabilize you." JP says, "I don't want meds. I think they are a bandaid to what is underneath." I told her, "Honey, you're bleeding right now. We need triage and we need to stop the immediate bleeding. Let's hope if you're given meds they are temporary, but honey, you have to get stabilized."

She heard that and told me later those words stuck to her like glue. I made her promise to call me right back when she had talked to the therapist. I was prepared to go pick her up and check her into a psychiatric hospital. I didn't tell her that, but she did indicate that she was prepared to do whatever the doctor said. It really scared her that she really could have hurt herself and was at such a state.

JP calls me back. Can I just say, I love that when my phone rings, my two year brings it to me. Sometimes I don't hear it because I am in the basement folding clothes, and here he comes toddling up to me, "Here, Momma." Give him a big, wet kiss! It was JP telling me the update.

Doctor said this--JP probably has the same disorder my friend, KB, has. And wouldn't you know it, I had just gotten the full update on KB. I directed JP to KB's personal blog on her ongoing struggle with this thing. That sends chills up my spine as to the timing of this whole thing.

Today, JP calls me to update me. She is on meds, and feels a lot better. She also tells me that KB's blog "is a breath of fresh air." JP tried to post and was having problems but said, "Please tell KB that her suffering is not wasted. I got a good look at what my life could be like if I don't deal with this now. If I fight it, don't treat it, I will have a lot more to lose down the road. Please tell her that."

I have cried over this a lot this week. I cry for KB because I know this has been a moment to moment burden to her for a long time. I know that she has a lot to lose even if she never has another problem with this ever again. Life is tenuous right now, all in the name of recovery. I cry for JP because she almost lost her life this week. I cry when I see that by hearing about KB, there is beauty in it. Beauty in that? (Say it sarcastically, and you'll get the irony of it.) JP found "a breath of fresh air" in someone else's pain. That is God. Only God brings beauty out of our ashes and filth. And I was witness to it from the sidelines, and that is beautiful for me, and I count it a privilege.

I thank you, Lord. You are Great. We miss your movement in our lives a lot, and yet, we can see You clearly in days like today. Please bless these beautiful women as much as You have blessed me this week.

Day to Day stuff

A quilt I am working on for our church's fall bazaar.
A blueberry cobbler I made. Ain't it pretty?

Day to day life around here is fairly predictable. I'll leave the day to day drama for Paris Hilton and Hollywood. The predictable is comforting to me. I think it's comforting for my family as well.

Excitement? Last week we went u-picking blueberries. (My British friend pronounces them "blue breeze") Most of them we freeze and use those in pancakes on our Saturday morning breakfast. I used a few of them and made a cobbler.

I am sitting at my kitchen table writing this as my six year old whizzes by the house on his new bike. I look away on occasion as he attempts jumps and wheelies. My two year old is taking a nap. I just wrapped some birthday presents for my husband's niece. We went to Target this morning because my 4 year old purse decided to fall apart. Got a new one. Also scored the DVD "Radio" on DVD for $5.50. Great movie for boys!

We watched "The Barnyard" last night. The night before "The Borrowers". Like that one. Netflix is our friend. Why aren't we playing outside in the middle of July? We live in the Pacific Northwest, and it's rainy right now. It will be sunny next week. We also don't have the heat wave the rest of the nation has right now.

Day to day stuff. It's not exciting. But it's comforting.

My husband

This is so weird. I have been blogging for a few days now, and suddenly my husband is getting weird about this. Lemme explain.

First, when he came home a few days ago, I said, "Hey, I have a blog now!" His response--he laughed at me. You want to see me go from zero to ticked? Laugh at me like that. I walked out of the room.

He asks me later, "Okay, I want to see it." I logged him in and he read all my posts and has kept up on them since then. Suddenly today, he says, "You have written about everyone but me." Oh my word!

You have to know my husband to know how oddly absurd this behavior is. As I write this, I also have to keep in mind, he will read it.

This is what my husband is like. M is cerebral....and I mean, cerebral. M is brainy. He is a college professor in philosophy, theology and ethics. You know, light topics. Does he read John Grisham? No, he reads "The Critique of Pure Reason" by Immanuel Kant. Yes, he will read that on an airplane or before going to bed. He is working on his PhD which has something to do with Thomas Reid and common sense realism, and he's always reading something on that. If you listen carefully, he talks to his computer in Hebrew because he is learning that as well, and has some program that he talks to as he learns it.

As you can tell by my description of him, I am out of my league. I get asked all the time "How in the world did you two meet? Better question, what was dating like? What's it like around your dinner table?" The latter is easy, "Put your plate in front of you. Use your napkin, don't lick your fingers. Two more bites or no dessert." We are also parents of young kids which trumps a lot of things. The first part--well let's all be real here, weren't we all on our best behavior when we dated?

Not much bothers M. It takes a lot to upset him. He has a great sense of humor. For instance. Tonight he walks through the kitchen and pokes me in the behind. Since we have small kids, long chats are few and far between. Long chats that most women really enjoy and can actually lead to something nice later on. Sometimes I get really irritated that a swipe on my ass is considered a substitute for a long chat. I say it, "Do you think pinching my ass will get you something later?" He says, not skipping a beat, "No, pinching your ass will guarantee nothing for me later." Fifteen years of marriage, he knows me pretty well.

Anyway, things my brainy husband is good at. He is a gifted teacher. His students love him. Past students of his come to him years later with gratitude for the challenges he gave them and what he taught them. I have seen him teach--the dude is good. M is no lightweight either. Every semester--students come to the first class, get one look at the syllabus, and drop the class. You will get your tuition dollars worth of learning in his classes. You will also get put through some academic exercises and be the wiser for it. I will say it until the day I die, M truly loves the Lord with all of heart, soul and mind. Strength being on mind.

Things my husband does not excel in. He is not a handy man. I have girlfriends who have husbands who can build them new kitchen cabinets in a weekend. I have a girlfriend who's husband is putting an addition on their house as I type this, and it will be done soon. That's pretty extreme, I realize, but oh my word, that makes my heart skip. My husband can do the basics. We have painted rooms in our house. Give us some furniture to assemble, great. Major projects, like putting some drywall in the basement to finish it. No way. Yet, several of you reading this will go, "Oh yeah, my husband could frame in a basement and move the plumbing for you." Go away, I don't want to covet you.

Things I struggle with. My husband and I are both fiercely independent. If we aren't careful, especially with our schedules, we won't see each other for long periods of time. What's worse, we are fine with it. I learned that awhile back when he was working on his master's degree. I was so used to having his attention, and then suddenly I didn't. So I found other things to do while he was focused on his studies. I volunteered a lot. I worked out. (Hush, we know that hasn't happened in years.) I found other ways to fulfill my need for companionship, and I don't mean inappropriately. The girlfriend network is there for a reason, most men can't fulfill all of our needs for relationships. My brainy husband certainly can't.

So here we are now. I own my own very very lucrative candle business. I make good bucks doing it, and have a lot of fun with it. I meet a lot of new and interesting people. I have events I attend for it about 3-4 evenings a week.

My husband is a college professor. He is also working on a PhD degree by distance with a fabulous college in Europe. His nose is always in a book. If not a book, a laptop. We are on summer break right now right? His colleagues are off playing with their families and getting home projects done right? Right. My husband goes to the office daily to work on that PhD, learn Hebrew, get class notes for the fall going, etc. I can't wait until that PhD is done!! You have no idea!

It works for us, but we do have to be cautious. We are both confident as individual people. No insecurity, right? So where the heck does this insecure statement come from, "You have written about everyone else but me?" I repeat myself, oh my word! Where did that come from?

Just remember, I had to go to him in recent years saying, "Honey, can we set up a chicken coop and have chickens?" I am sure in the deep recesses of his mind, said muttered, oh my word!

Let's Get Down to Politics

I have an opinion on the politics and war we are living in right now.

I fully acknowledge that my view is unpopular, and may even be frustrating to read. But you know what....we have the right to have disagreements in this country. We can agree to disagree. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean we can't have coffee. I say that because I think very often, in fact most of the time, we lose sight of that. I will say this often--our freedom to do just that, agree to disagree, is a freedom that many other countries do not have. Our freedom to speak our opinion, share it and publish it, is bought and paid for with the blood of our veterans. So let's honor those men and women by not drawing more battle lines and suddenly not speaking to each other, or holding animosities to each other--it sullies that freedom. This is my view, I fully acknowledge and realize yours may be different, I embrace that. It keeps things colorful.

I must give you a bit of my history. I am the daughter of a military officer. I was born on a military base. I am fortunate that while I was growing up I never saw my dad going to war, but he was definitely deployed to far away places during periods of international unrest in the 70's and 80's. I was too little to know what was really going on. All my life I have always been incredibly thankful my dad was never deployed to war.

I have to turn the channel when something is being shown of soldiers coming home and families being reunited with their soldiers. I cry. I don't just have tears coming down my cheeks, I weep. I have a better idea than most what it's like to have a parent gone for a long time while the military takes them away. I can't imagine throwing in the extra stress of knowing that person is at war. I can't imagine having that loved one home for a few months, and them being deployed to war....again....and yet, again. I can't imagine. I weep for those families and I weep when the bad news comes that the ultimate sacrifice has been made, that soldier's life. I mean it, I weep.

Click here for the latest person I have sat at my computer and wept over. His life was too short. This post is to honor this man, Kory Wiens, for his loyalty and sacrifice. I wish I could have known him.

With a full and appreciative heart--I give my absolute thanks for our guys and gals fighting for our freedom in Iraq and Afghanistan right now. I thank them for their sacrifice, their family's sacrifice and the hardships they are enduring so that I have the freedom's I enjoy daily. The bumper sticker says it well "freedom is not free".

So, should we pull out? Absolutely not. You may never click on this blog again because you disagree with me so much. That is okay. That is a freedom we enjoy in this country. We can voice our disagreements with impunity. As a woman, in the middle east, I could be very seriously punished for speaking an opinion.

I am going to try to keep this brief, because this war is no simple thing.

First, who in the name of creation could have predicted 9/11? Our president was on his way to having a productive term in the White House, when that horrible tragedy landed in his lap. I have the feeling some of us have forgotten how absolutely horrific that day was. Several thousand US lives were taken. Those citizens were enjoying the freedom we enjoy--the ability to make a living and earn money through commerce. We know that is the reason the Twin Towers were targeted--they represented the US commerce that we enjoy and make our living with.

Let me add this--I am forever grateful to God alone that Al Gore did not win that election, and 9/11 was his mess to work on. If that doesn't send chills up your spine...

Second, Condi Rice said it the best "they were at war with us before we were at war with them". Ummm.....for those people who post the bumper stickers, signs, etc that say something like "Get out of Iraq, NOW!"--I have to wonder and I want to ask so badly, "Do you think the US pulling out of Iraq will make this all go away? They are at war with us no matter if our troops are there or at home. They are war-ready, we need to be too."

I have a little something that happened to me when the war started, but I don't want to digress.....see the end of this post for that.**

September 11ths will continue, and have continued. They will continue to be at war with us, and we will have a war on our soil. They are at war with us--that means bombs, carnage and suffering directed at us. That is a logical course of events from what the terrorists have made very clear. They are at war with the US and will stop at nothing to continue to make terroristic tragedies happen on a regular basis. So if we pull out, and make no efforts to stop this at the source--what, do we let them continue to be at war with us? Do we continue to allow these people to bomb our country? Do we continue to allow thousands of citizens to die?

They do make those attempts now and will continue to, but at least we are over there, getting intelligence, apprehending bad guys, and stopping potential threats. Why can't we carry shampoo on flights now? Because it was averted because we and the British were over there.

Okay, let's pull out right now. Let's just say the word has come from somewhere and we pull out right now. Well the same thing happened in Vietnam.

History remembered here. Politicians in Washington were sick of the Vietnam war. Resolutions were made around marbled tables in Washington and it was decided inside the beltway of Washington to pull out. My point being, it was not decided on the battlefield in Vietnam. It was a political decision, not a battlefield decision.

Okay, so we pulled out. It happened quickly. If you want to see a good depiction of what that looked like, I recommend the movie "The Killing Fields". It was sudden and abrupt. By the way, the actor that plays the Vietnamese man who escapes the killing fields, himself survived the killing fields, but his wife and children did not. He also endured torture, when you watch it, look closely--he is missing his pinky fingers from the torture he endured at the hands of the Khmer Rouge.

Guess what happened next? The Khmer Rouge came in and committed amazing human atrocities that we are still learning about today. The killing fields of Vietnam happened after the US forces pulled out. The corrupt faction of the Khmer Rouge saw the opportunity to take over the weakened Vietnamese. Thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people, not armed soldiers in uniforms were murdered systematically. Every now and then you hear of a new "killing field" found in Vietnam, and it usually has skeletal remains of women holding babies, elderly, and weak.

I absolutely believe and will put a bet down with anyone--the Shiite's are just waiting for politicians in Washington to put down on paper the "date" we have to pull out. I will put money down that the killing fields will begin again, and that Al Sadir freak will be in charge. The Iraqi government cannot protect themselves from his forces right now--and everyone knows it. Al Sadir will commit tragedies that will make Vietnam pale by comparison. I'll bet on it.

We are about to repeat Vietnam and the killing fields of Vietnam, if we continue to pressure our politicians to finish the war. Leave the war decisions with those who know the most about it--the military personnel who are fighting it--and what are they saying, "hang on, we can't pull out now."

Am I the only one who thinks this? No, so far the only one in the public eye who agrees with me is John McCain. Interesting. He was a POW in Vietnam and has the killing fields in his adult memory. Interesting that he has predicted that we will repeat the killing fields of Vietnam if we pull out now.

So, for those people who keep track of the Iraqis citizens who have been killed so far--you can increase that twenty fold if we pull out now--if you're so concerned about them. I am too, don't get me wrong, but I am more concerned about our gals and guys right now.

Check this out, on cbsnews.com just tonight, they have an article entitled, "What would happen if the US pulled out now?" You can read it, and there several scenarious predicted but here's what interesting:

"Civil war and increased violence are widely anticipated, however, with some military officers contending that whether Iraq splits apart or outside actors take over, "ever greater carnage is inevitable."

I am hoping that John McCain can get his internal affairs together right now. I know he is having staffing issues and fund raising issues. He also is the only candidate right now who has the military balls to finish this war right--from the battlefield and not a cushy, air conditioned board room in DC. Fred Thompson is a close second. I'll let you know later who I vote for.

That is my opinion.

**Summer after the war started, 2002. I am standing at a Mail Boxes Etc store on a Saturday morning to do whatever. A woman walks in and a young male clerk helps her. She asks for stamps. The clerk gives her a book of stamps. Woman tosses them back at the clerk and demands something else. "I don't want ones with American flags. I can't support this country and I never will." She isn't quiet either, everyone could hear her little speech. Poor clerk, who is like 16 years old and hasn't grown a spine yet, says, "Ummm....no that is all we have."

Sidenote--I will be the first to acknowledge, yes, this war is, in part, about oil. Why? Because we can't have a dictator setting fire to the world's oil fields when he gets ticked off. That same dictator shouldn't be allowed to snap his fingers and drop airplanes out of US skies into our buildings. Yes, Osama and Saddam were bedfellowes in their "fight" against the US--religiously, worlds apart, in their hate for the US, rock solid partners. We also need to cut our addiction to oil, and I fully agree with that. Back to my story.

Woman huffs out of the store without stamps, clicks her little clicky thingy that unlocks her vehicle door from a mile away. Her gas guzzling SUV the size of a Sherman tank is right outside the door and it is loud as it unlocks. She huffs her way into the driver's seat and screeches off. Do you see the irony here?

If I had my spine on that day, I would say to her:

If you don't like America, move. If you like the freedoms you have, like being able to be a witch to a male with impunity, all under the clause of "free speech"--then stay. But I'll tell you what, I absolutely dare you to go to the middle east and behave that way, and see how much you appreciate the freedom of speech women like you have here. You can lose a limb talking that way to a man in some middle eastern countries.

I also encourage you to trade your SUV for a 1970's model diesel car that can be converted to biodiesel. If you are going to protest, put your money where your mouth is.

Happy Fourth of July! Stars and Stripes forever!

The Food Chain

So you know we have chickens. We also have a dog and a cat. The cat almost doesn't count (sorry cat lovers!) because she is 15 years old now, and pretty much sleeps and eats. When she was a kitten, she broke everything she could pounce on.

Our dog is another story. I am not a big dog person. Dogs require much more care than cats. Cats are self cleaning and bury their poo. Those are only the important ones, I could go on and on as to why I really like the self reliance of cats over dogs.

We have our dog for one reason. Two years ago, right after adopting BH, our house was burglarized. Badly. We walked into our house on a hot July evening after visiting with friends, and our living room was ransacked. I will spare you the details, because they are heart wrenching. It is just what people say--you never fully feel safe in your home again, and it's incredibly uneasy knowing someone has seen your private home.

The cop who came to our house that night gave us some great tips on what we could do preventativly. Honestly, we couldn't afford an alarm system (we have one now), but he said, "People with big dogs typically aren't burglarized. The next house without a dog is." We thought about it, researched it, and got a dog.

I found a great website to find dogs from rescues. It is http://www.petfinder.com/. I wasn't finding a dog from our local humane society, believe me I tried. I am all about not spending the money on purebreds and helping a dog who really needs a home. I also researched breeds and settled on a collie. Collies are great with kids, and yet very protective of their turf. Perfect!

Next, we found our dog who is a collie mixed with shepherd. So, she has the color of a collie and the body of a German shepherd, and she is not a puppy! Yahoo! I have an opinion on puppies....and I'll talk about that later. Suffice it to say, our youngest was less that 2 months old, I was not about to add a puppy to that mix. Clementine came into our home as a six year old dog, and really quite relaxed and easy. She has been a great dog.

Things I don't like about Clementine: she is a big dog. She will nudge you off the couch if you let her. When she wants attention, she slaps her big paw on you, and that hurts. Her paws are big. She did that to me once when I was asleep and almost took my eye out. Had a nice scratch across my face for a week. She also gets into the garbage. She also will snag food out of your hands if you aren't careful. When my back is turned, she drinks my coffee. I have to drink coffee, in my own home, out of a travel mug to keep her out of it. You could say many of these for most dogs too. Clementine is a dog, and obviously, she is acting like one.

Things I like about Clementine include: she is a lounge lizard and doesn't require my constant attention. She barks when someone approaches our home--love that. When I walk her, she is protective of me. One time, she was growling at a guy who was asking me for change, and he says to me, "What is she growling for, I won't hurt you." I told him, "I trust her more than I trust you." She lets the kids play with her. She also isn't at all rough with the kids. If anything, she stays away from them. We also haven't been burglarized since her bellowing bark can be heard from the street when someone approaches.

Here is the bonus: Clementine catches and kills rats. The chickens are part of that. I won't go into the fact we can't have chickens and dogs loose in the yard, but that is part of the food chain we have. But chickens attract rats. They have hay, grain feeds, and places for rats to live and hide.

Let me digress for a moment. When I saw a rat for the first time in my backyard two years ago I had a mild heart attack, called my husband, and called the county vector (think rodent/pest) control. To my house comes Fred the Vector Control Guy. He is seriously one of the funniest people I have met in recent years, and have no idea how he could have gotten into this line of work. Fred has a few opinions on vectors (disease carrying things). He had a serious opinion about homeless people keeping rats as pets, and challenged me to think about who really was the vector in that scenario.

Anyway, Fred tells me this--you have rats. Your neighbor has rats, I have rats, we all have rats. Why? Because we live in the city. Everyone has rats who lives in the city. Why? Because we have rat environment, we have dumpsters, birdfeeders, compost piles, sewers, and food sources galore. Fred continued to tell me, "You're lucky, you get to see your rats. They come out because you have chickens. Your neighbor doesn't have chickens, and doesn't even know he has rats. Your neighbor thinks you have rats but he also has rats." He was very clear on this, and repeated himself often to get the point across--all of us city dwellers have rats. Period.

Gross huh? Fred gave me a poison box, several lethal traps, a handshake, and was off. With the traps we did manage to kill a squirrel and a blue jay. We gave up on those after watching rats dance all over the dumb trap. I could barely bait it without taking my arm off, yet those little stinkers could jump all over it.

Rat facts. Rats are seriously smart and resilient. Rats can scale a 12 foot stainless steel pole. (My neighbor built a 6 foot wooden fence recently to "keep the rats on your side"). Rats can stay underwater for an incredibly long time. Ever heard of them coming up through toilets? It's not a myth. Rats can leap between buildings up to like 18 feet. Rats can collapse their ribs, like mice can, to the size of a quarter, and squeeze through amazingly small spaces. Considering they are about 4-5 inches in circumference normally, that is amazing. Just think of a squirrel--it's the same size as an adult rat, and it can do that to it's rib cage? Rats and cockroaches will outlive the human race just on their amazing ability to adapt.

The poison box has one confirmed kill. My husband has one confirmed kill with a shovel. Clementine shares one kill with my husband and the shovel. But! Clementine has killed four others without any help from us. She doesn't eat them. She chases them down, kills them, then waits for the treat we give her. The first time she killed one, she buried it for me. What a good girl!

She did get bit in the face recently from a rat, and that rat paid dearly with it's life. Have you ever heard a rat hiss? I did when those two were going at it. It was a fully grown rat who had a little more smarts than some of the juveniles we have seen. She is fine from the bite. Trust me, I called my vet friend for the okay on that one.

We have our chickens, who can't be near the dog, but attract the rats, that no one else thinks they have, that our dog kills. It's our food chain. And we now have an alarm system.

Now, anyone for "Rataouille"? Makes you think twice about rats being loveable creatures huh? French chef rat.....not in my backyard!

Chickens....yes, chickens!

Did you know that chickens are the fastest growing domesticated animal in terms of popularity?? Did you know that in most municipalities, you can have a few chickens without any sort of permit? Did you know that in the last four years I have had chickens, it costs me less to keep chickens that it does to buy eggs? Did you know that chickens eat your bug population down to nothing? Same for slugs and snails?

How do you get turned onto chickens? Let me tell you my story. I have a dear friend of mine, DP. She loves chickens. As long as I have known her, she just loves them. Because of her, I know all the information above. I have had my chickens for like 4 years, so about 5 or 6 years ago, she was pestering me, "AM, you should get chickens. You have a great yard, and...." she then spews off the great list of why one should have chickens. I said, "Yes, someday." At the time, JM, was a baby, and I was working my tail off to keep my business afloat.

Good friends of ours down the street from us. Again, near and dear friends. They were in our wedding thousands of years ago. They get on the chicken bandwagon, build a coop and love it. Suddenly in the winter of 2002, they have to move. Great job opportunity, must move right now, in the middle of November. They call me up, "Do you want our chickens? You have mentioned you have wanted to have them before?? We thought of you." I say with trepidation and a gulp, "Ummm....yes."

So while they are frantically packing up and leaving, I am frantically paying a guy to build me a chicken coop. I was amiss to not check building codes. I should have and would recommend you do too. Why? Because mine is slightly out of code, but so far no one has complained. If someone did, I would call my guy back to make some changes. Anyway, in the middle of rainy, damp, windy, cold November in Oregon, this guy is digging holes for posts and building me a nice chicken coop. Meanwhile, our friends have moved, and I am going to their empty house in the dark of night to take care of these chickens and feeding them.

The coop is completed, now we have to move them here. I am so excited, you have no idea. I am sick to death of going to this dark house in the dead of night, to take care of these birds.

They are home. We have two Rhode Island Reds (pictured) and one Plymouth Bard Rock, the black and white one. The Reds have since gone to chicken stew heaven and have been replaced by two white Leghorns, the typical white chicken we all think of. I have always gotten my chickens for free, either from my friends down the street or craigslist. I realized last fall that my two Reds were getting old. Nice guy, M, from my church helped them to the next life. He is the only one I knew that could and would do the deed.

I don't think I'll do Leghorns again. They are not as friendly, and seem not quite like a pet. They also have a tendency to flap quite high. So, if I let them roam around the yard, you need to keep an eye on them. Most of the time they are digging and pecking at the ground.

What are the benefits? Eggs! Lots of great eggs that I know do not have hormones in them. I get one egg a day, generally, from each hen. No roosters! Unless you live in the country, no roosters!

So here is something funny for you. Next time you go to the grocery store, see how much those brown eggs cost. About a buck more than the white ones right? There is something on the packing saying how great they are because they are brown right? Well, here is some news for you--there is nothing a farmer/home owner can do to change the color of the eggs, I don't care how great your chicken feed is. Why? Because egg color depends on the breed of chicken that is laying them. So, my Reds and my Plymouth Rock lay brown eggs, because that is their breed. My Leghorns lay white ones. And they taste the same. The only really cool thing about the brown ones, they make for interesting Easter egg dying. That's it! So, think twice before being told that brown ones are worth $1 more a dozen.

So, there you have it. My whole thinking on chickens.

My first post!

I feel the need to spew so much about myself since this is my first post. I am going to refrain from doing that to you. I fear that may prevent you from ever viewing my blog again.

I have enjoyed thinking about the idea of blogging, and have lots of thoughts that I would enjoy talking about with someone as well as have written somewhere. I am fulfilling the writing part, so I ask you, the reader, to please think about adding to the "talking" part by posting your comments and thoughts on issues I bring up, or related ones.

The things I find myself struggling with, wondering about, and worrying about--my kids. They are adopted. I say that proudly and boldly. I don't say that as a label, an indentity or a sentence for their future. I say that because we can't keep it a secret. The picture of myself on the main page is me and my older son, JM. We are a walking poster child for how great adoption is, yet, I find myself in conversations with people. They range anywhere from wonderful and tear jerking, to absolutely embarassing and awkward. By the grace of God, I can count the latter on one hand.

I'll share with you one of the wonderful conversations, and get this blog started right!

Jump back to June of 2005. We were in Prince George County, Maryland at a relative's house. We were taking custody of our second son, and we were emotionally raw. In the previous months, we had three adoptions fall through. Two of them were as a direct result of bad adoption workers. I have an opinion on that, and will share that later. (When I find myself saying, I have an opinion ..... I find myself wanting to blog!)

We have our second son, BH, in our arms and are enjoying some vacation time. Prince George County, Maryland is a dream place! It is where I want to raise my kids if I could afford to live there! Why? It is predominantly African American! If you walk down the mall, you will see a lot of African American people. But look closely. Depending on where you walk, of course, this is a generalization. No place is perfect. But where I walked down the mall and had my vacation--I saw African American families, with mothers and fathers. I saw children in school uniforms. I saw teens dressed like a teenager, not like an inmate about to be fingerprinted. I saw men in suits in carrying briefcases. I saw professional African Americans--and a lot of them!

Okay, this might bring up....where do you live AM? All the places I have lived in my life, I have never seen what I saw in Prince George County. Can you see why I want my kids to live there? Can you understand why communities there welcome with open arms the message that Bill Cosby has, and yet gets criticized by certain AA (African American) groups? His message is one of "Get an education, stop playing the race card, support your kids".

I am walking around this community with my husband, ML, JM, and our new baby in a snuggly. My husband and I stick out like crazy, yet, there are no harsh words or nasty looks. We go to a mall with some other family members to go to a pizza place. There is an AA man in the parking lot unloading a box of trophies. He obviously is a coach and is doing his awards dinner with the kids at this pizza parlor. I also see his son with him, about 8 or 9, in a uniform. He notices us immediately--again, we stick out. I don't remember how he approached us, but he was bold. He walked right up to us and said something like "Are your kids adopted? How are old you? (to JM) How old is this little guy? (for BH) How cool is this?" He just gushed for a minute or two. We explained we had just adopted BH and were going back to our home on the west coast soon. Then he dropped the wonderful bomb, "I am adopted. I was adopted by white folks and was raised in Illinois. You know what? I am not screwed up either!"

No, he isn't. After all he lives in Prince George County, Maryland, has great kids, coaches the team, and invests himself in his kids. I would love to meet his parents. I want to be like them, and I want my boys to be like this great guy.