Imagine If There Weren't....

Imagine if we didn't have photography. Even 100 years ago when photography was new and rarely used. Imagine if we didn't have that.

Our sermon this morning was talking about Romans 8 and the distinction of our decaying bodies and our spiritual body. An illustration was used of a photographer who has taken an annual picture of his wife and three sisters since 1975. And watching the aging process in these women. It's a fascinating process to watch.

On the way to church, the husband and I discussed politics, like we do often. We discussed the "image" of two candidates running. He made a great point. Think to 100 years ago, if the entire electorate elected based upon the shallow "looks" of a candidate, Lincoln would have lost. He was not an attractive man! Husband makes a great point.

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So as I am listening to this sermon, my mind wandered. Yes, I know, I'm a heathen. But even in our own lives, think back 20 years. Can you remember what your middle school math teacher looked like? Exactly? Could you pick them out of a line up today? I would have to honestly say no. As I have lived with my husband for 20+ years, and I have watched him age before my eyes, would I recognize him from 20 years ago if I had no pictures of him? Gotta think no.

So imagine what life was like before the discovery of photography. I almost think it might have been an unknown luxury. I would not remember what I looked like, and maybe there might be less bemoaning and comparing my looks to younger years. Instead of bemoaning what I, or anyone else in my life looked like, it would almost force me to live more in the moment. People in front of me, in all their glory, is all we had to go by. That is a game changer, especially for those we have known for a long time. Sketchy memories would be all I had to compare to.

Would you recognize the husband and I from 1991?

I also would do a lot of things differently. Voting is a great example. I dare everyone to take their voter's guide when they receive it, and have their kids cut out all the pictures first before reading it. Vote completely based upon what is written, not by the picture. Interesting idea.

I can't do it this time around because I do know what everyone looks like. And that brings up another point, we almost cannot decide the merits of a person, candidate, issue, idea, etc without having the image of a person attached to it. It would be almost impossible to choose the voting idea I mentioned because we are thrust pictures of candidates in all kinds of media.

There are benefits to having photography, I am not saying let's get rid of it. But this morning's discussion and sermon gave me pause for thought. It's been interesting to consider.

We Are Still in the Christmas Season.....

Our church did it again. We do a children's Christmas pageant every year, and every year, it gets better and better. I have a preliminary slide show for us to enjoy. I am working on a masterpiece, so hold on for more, but I know several parents are excited to see something.

For those not involved, but love to watch kids. I need to make a few highlights. You might remember last year my tearful typing of a post about the wonderful Burmese family that came to our church.....with no English. After months and months of trying to include them in things, yet only having blanks stares to exchange....we offered (couldn't speak so we held up ratty costumes to show them we wanted them to join us) the kids to join us in our Christmas pageant. I still get choked up remembering that magical day. Please click here for a refresher.

This year....that same Burmese family was an integral part of our pageant. But even better. They have immersed themselves in their schooling and had English speaking parts. Kwa Too, one of the few young boys of this family, had a speaking part as Joseph. Several of the sisters were angels, that had English speaking songs to sing, including hand motions. What a joy to see them this year!

Also, I won't point out who....but it was also quite special since another one of the angels is also a leukemia patient and has had a tough year. Her hair grew back, there is color and a spark in her face. What a joy that she could participate in the pageant this year, last year she couldn't.

Yes, Joy to the World seemed an appropriate song this year.

An Inward Struggle

I know I have posted some silly things on the ol' blog since September 9th...the day of Brian's memorial. I have been conflicted with how to express and write how I am feeling about all of this.

Don't get me wrong, I am grieving. I am grieving in a way that I have never grieved before. I have seen death and tragedy in my life, trust me.

I am going to express to you, anyone who reads this, something so simple and so gravely important. Something that had become so amazingly convoluted in Brian's life, but was truly simple.

I do not stand in judgment of Brian. I want to make that crystal clear. He lived his amazing life, and it has echoed for the last week or so, he was a good guy....a great guy. He struggled, though. Just like all of us do. We all struggle with hard things inside that we don't express to anyone, or maybe only drop hints about.

What all of us knew about Brian was two things. 1) He was having a hard time. 2) Several family members, time and time again, expressed to him that if he surrendered to God, gave his life to God, a whole lot of this struggle would make sense. Each time that was expressed to him, he bristled and either put up a wall or changed the subject with a joke. It's a simple answer, but makes all the difference in the world.

It was not my place, as Brian's cousin in-law, to approach him about such personal things. I knew others were. However, from the outside looking in, I saw a man trying to fill "that void" with things. New cars, new house, new bikes, new this, new that.......all shiny things that have no great value. Real simple assessment, those things don't fill that void. The void became increasingly demanding, and nothing can fill it.

Nothing shiny and pretty and temporary can fill a void that is meant to be filled with substance.

I know a verse in the Bible that I want to share with you, but hesitate to. So many people use it and abuse it. Even celebrities and people on that shiny TV.

Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the light. No one comes to the Father except through me." So many focus on the way and the truth....but forget the light. Light in darkness. Oh my gosh, if someone were screaming for light in his life, it was Brian.

I can say from my "outside looking in" vantage point, Brian was thirsty for something that shiny things cannot quench. It's a demanding yearning for something bigger and better.

I want to let all of you know this. When you have that kind of "thing" in you. The latest IPhone isn't enough. The latest XBox game isn't going to do it.

Jesus said to a prostitute at a well (John 4), "Everyone who drinks of this water shall thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life."

Jesus said, "If any man is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink." John 7

It sounds simplistic and maybe even contrite. I am a Christian, and is everything rosy? Um....not by any stretch of the imagination. Is everyday filled with butterflies and angels? No. Is everyday a struggle where I wonder if I am doing the right things for myself and my family? Yes, daily. Is everyday a struggle? Yes. Everyday can be very dissatisfying. Everyday, I need to look for the shiny things, I need to look for help, I need to remember, this isn't all there is. Daily I do remember that all of this stuff I have in front of me is not all there is and I know there is a purpose and order to all of this, because of God.

Knowing there is eternity. Knowing that all the things I have surrounded myself with are not the end all of my existence makes my mundane, stressful life make sense. If I didn't have a relationship with the Christ who provides living water of eternity, and I came to realization that all I have was my run down house, chicken coop, Wii, and cell phone (water that doesn't quench).....I can see very quickly how Brian hit that point of despair. Those toys are very dull and not so shiny anymore.

Please think of this today. It's not hard, it's simple. Taking a moment to pray to God, ask for His living waters to be in your life, to guide your life, is simple. Going to a church where that truth is central is the next step. I am pleading with you as a human being who is hurting after watching someone else hurt, please don't let it get to a point where nothing consoles you. You are too important to me. You are even more important to God.

It's so simple, yet can be so complicated.

Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant

Dr. Joseph Aldrich, home with the Lord, where we all belong.

Dr. Joseph Aldrich, or Dr. Joe, as we all knew him was the President of Multnomah University for I don't know how long. He was the president when I was a student. He was the Billy Graham of the Pacific Northwest. Several years ago, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and took a big step back from ministry. This morning, his ministry continues in the hands of the Lord.

I will remember him as a dynamic speaker, not ashamed to shed a tear when speaking of difficult things, and preached a very practical lifestyle of evangelism. No foofy, lofty words. Just put a verb in your words, and get going in your ministry.

I pray for his close-knit family as they say goodbye to Dr. Joe. I also pray for his larger family, which spans the globe. His influence is far reaching, and for that, he has many jewels in his crown.

Thank you, Dr. Joe.

Things of Value

I was reduced to tears today thinking of what happened yesterday in church. Let me tell you about how God teaches me things...

For a few months now, our church has had an unusual family coming to our church. We are an Episcopalian church, but don't worry for all you theologians out there watching the huge rift in the Episcopal church, we are the minority voice of conservatism.

Anyway, this family is huge. It is a set of parents, and maybe even some grandparents, and as far as I can count eight children. They are Burmese refugees. I have no idea what the specifics of their story is on how they made their way to our church, but they are here.

It's been a rough few weeks, mainly for the language barrier. After kids are dismissed from regular service for children's chapel, all the kids join us. We do our same liturgical-esque program, and all of us adults wonder how much they are ingesting mainly because there is a huge language barrier. If you ask one of the kids their name, they will answer. But they won't talk to you. One of the boys, about ten, speaks English very well, and we all depend on him a lot.

After chapel the kids are dismissed to classrooms. The Burmese children don't join in at all. I usually find them playing in the bathroom or wandering halls. More than once I have steered them into a class where they are "caught" and must stay. All of us adults agree, if they are more than visitors at our church, which seems to be the case, then we need to have the same expectations of them as we do of our children. That is, they need to join us for our church programs, and that includes Sunday school. They can't be allowed to just wander the halls, and hide in the bathrooms. The one objection we hear to that is "but the language barrier". Well, us parents agree you learn a language by hearing it spoken, and what better place than Sunday School. Many of us are hall monitors finding the kids and getting them into classrooms.

It's been an interesting frustration. They want to be there. We want them there, but the barriers seem vast and hard to bridge. But it seems all of us, the family included, are determined to make it work.

And a new language was formed yesterday at church. It's the language of feeling special.

We had children's chapel. Then our pastor's wife assigned all the parts all the kids are accustomed to having for our Christmas pageant. We asked if they wanted to have parts, all their little brown eyes lit up and bobbed their heads in unison. All of the sudden, these distant little creatures weren't so distant.

Then, the job all of us moms hate--doling out the costumes, making sure they fit, and putting names on them for performance day. Our church has an impressive costume closet.

I was in charge of angels. Having both my kids as angels in the past, I know the costumes are recycled white sheets, cut to size, with collars put in, and tinsel stapled to them. From a distance, they look cute, up close, well, the tinsel has lost it's lustre.

As I asked each girl (and I fitted four or five little Burmese girls in angel costumes, the rest were shepherds off with another parent) if they wanted to be angels, their eyes lit up. I helped them take off their little jackets and slid the costumes over their heads making sure the length fit them. You would have thought I put a princess crown on them.

Their faces were just magical. They felt special. They felt included. They felt pretty. What a humbling privilege for me.

The youngest of the group is a little two year old girl, and ummmm....well, she is a two year old girl with tons of older siblings. Need I say more? I put her in the smallest shepherd costume we had and she just strutted around like I put a king's robe on her.

Then, after assigning costumes, the children were taken off to practice songs. Two other mom's and I cleaned up the rest of the costumes, organized, hung up hangers, etc. We were all just tingly with warm fuzzies. Suddenly, these special kids, who have lived a whole lifetime in their short years, suddenly see us as friends. The distrust was gone this special morning.

We also listened to the practice. Each one of those kids from this family was singing, with vim and vigor, in their voice. Not just the blank stare that we normally see while singing hymns. It wasn't just feeling special putting on a tinsel laden costume, it was the feeling that they will be included in our production, and they feel special because of it.

In case you can't tell, I am beyond excited to share with you our annual Christmas pageant pictures coming up in a few weeks. I hope you get to see their faces as I saw them yesterday.

Thankfulness

As we approach our Thanksgiving season, I do like to reflect on what I am thankful for. I think I may have more than one post on this, so I thought I would get started early.

Here goes:

I am thankful that I have a job. I am thankful that my job still pays bills and puts food on the table.

I am thankful for my family, always. With every breathe I take, I am so thankful for them.

I am so thankful for my friends. As I have lived over the years, it is the influence of my friends that has chiseled me into the person I am today, and I am ever so thankful.

I am so thankful to God for giving us Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate artist in my life that has the most influence. He has redeemed me, saved me from my ungodliness, and made my life something that glorifies Him. Only God can do that.

I am so thankful for living in the United States. The freedoms we enjoy, the rights we enjoy, the basics we enjoy, etc. They are because pioneering folks got into a boat, and braved a new world.

I am thankful for the writers of the Constitution and the huge amount of wisdom and foresight they had when writing such an amazing document. I honestly believe God was influencing their writing.

I am thankful for all American soldiers, past, present and future, who have sacrificed for those freedoms that we have all enjoyed since the earliest settlements of Northern America. Those soldiers have sacrificed life, liberty, limb and peace for those freedoms we all enjoy, and I take every opportunity I have to thank them for protecting my home and family, and the rights I enjoy.

Please add any more you can think of! I am sure as I reflect more this week, I'll have another post this week.

Jesus, to you alone be the glory!

Good Discussion is Good for the Soul

Here is how it went with JM today. Remembering, we are getting back on track with our attitude this week.

Talking about how people do the most amazingly wrong things. Making wrong decisions that have serious consequences, yet if they had their head on straight, etc. We also had a discussion earlier in the week with a friend about how dumb sheep are, they need a shepherd or else they easily get themselves in trouble, and we as people are referred to as sheep in the Bible. Good discussion!

I started making the connection with JM that God has very much a parental role. He watches His children make mistakes He wishes they wouldn't make, but He can't stop them. Same for us parents, we honestly can't stop our kids from making mistakes, etc.

JM: So you still love me even when I mess up just like God loves us even when we mess up.
Me: Yes.

JM: Why does God love us? Oh I know! He loves those things He has created.

Yup, that about covers it.

Neighborhood Update

Many of you have been very sweet and kind to call me and ask what is going on in the old neighborhood. I have told those folks personally, but for some reason I think I just need to not post it on the world wide web.

But an update, and it's not much. The police have come to take statements from those they need to take statements from, and that is all we know. No word from them, no word on what is going to happen the (alleged) offender, who is still in the neighborhood.

That is what has us on edge. We need guidance and structure from the authorities, and this little slice of heaven I call my home is not on their priority list. So, we continue to wait, and wait in limbo.

We ask your prayers for peace, healing, guidance, and perseverance. We also ask that you help us to be Christ to those who need it, and it is for sure the victim's family, and possibly even the (alleged) offender's family.

One cool thing, I took my kids and a few neighbor kids up the street to a free showing of "Alvin and the Chipmunks." The kids liked it, and I liked the air conditioning.

Need of Prayer

Please pray for our neighborhood. Specifically the friends and families we have gotten to know very dearly in the last few years. We have a serious "situation" that has just exploded in the last few days. In the words of a neighbor "This is so serious. This is so so serious." He is right.

Things are very much in the beginning stages. There are allegations that need to become substantiations. I feel very lucky and blessed that it seems we dodged the main bullet. However, near and dear friends of ours have not. Our hearts and prayers go out to them. Please pray for our neighbors, because they are hurting deeply. They are not Christians. One blessing in all of this, it is a chance for our family to be Christ to them.

We are also walking a fine line of how to "be" with our kids. Let God's wisdom shine in our hearts about that. I want my kids, and the neighbor kids, to look back on this time and remember their parents handling this well.

I don't know if I'll ever publish on my blog the whole story. I might be able to do a summary later. It is a sensitive thing. But it's dark, ugly and victimizing. We need God to intervene and show grace, mercy and healing.

God Through the Ages and the Caribbean

Here is the Anglican church in Nassau, Bahamas that we came upon. We asked the person standing at the front if we could go inside, and he said very tentatively, "Yes." All of us were so glad he did. Honestly, it was so beautiful inside, and it felt like we had been to church
that week, it was so special.

Here are a few of the many memorials that are all over the side walls. They are beautifully worded, and such a history lesson! Many of these are dated when Nassau was basically a Caribbean shipping port, and slave trading was at it's peak. It was a colonized outpost. In the midst of that, to see the most loving memorials two hundred years later was nothing short of special. It was such an honor to be in this church.

This one above is a memorial to people lost in a shipwreck. Amazing!
Click any of these to make them bigger. They are clear to read if you do.

This one above is so heart wretching. You can feel the
heartache in the parents who had to bury their child.

This is the memorial that brought me to tears, it's hard to read, so let me tell it to you again. The italics are not mine, the italics and exclamations are part of the actual memorial.

"In memory of
Emma Clementia Blatch
whom it pleased the Almighty to visit suddenly
in the bloom of life with severe fever
of which she died October 16, 1825 aged 19.
Her earthly remains are deposited
in potter's field...her spirit with God.
Reader! Whoever thou art, let the sight of this monument imprint on thy mind, that young and old without distinction leave this world! Therefore fail not to secure the next."

I think that about says it all.

What in the world is going on?

I have been in mom mode for several years now. I have heard of friends say that as their kids approach school age they suddenly feel useful again. I disagree with that but I am beginning to feel what they are talking about. I disagree mainly because I am certainly useful when my kids are babies and toddlers.

But useful outside of the home. I just think God is up to something with me. I am not sure what it is, and I am just waiting, listening and being attentive.

Got a call today from someone....I gotta be careful here. I have been asked to mentor someone who really could use a mentor like me, I guess, who has the messed up past that I do. And that is great! I fully embrace my yucky past, because it shines the light of God's grace and mercy in my life upon Him. If it weren't for him, it would still be a trainwreck.

Now remember, I poured my guts out at an event last week sharing my testimony. And I have been asked to do a few more things. I do need to say "no" at some point, but something is going on here.

And this person calls me today, now knowing I spoke at the event last week. I just think something is going on.

I want to be attentive. And yet, I do know that my focused ministry in my life right now is my kids. I have homeschooling to prepare for. I need to sit back, listen, watch, etc.

I am quite tingly thinking about what is going to happen with all of these strange requests that seem to have one thing in common--my icky past. Strange huh?