What Was I Like When I Was Fifteen

What a strange time in a girl's life. I looked so grown up, I was the same height I am now. I looked like a woman, yet didn't have the street smarts and common sense my continuing maturity would allow me.

I also trusted adults. Especially those in authority or positions of respect. So my parents and their friends. Teachers, coaches, school administrators, youth group adults, etc. I can think of four specific times when I was fifteen that I put my trust in an adult (because I was still a kid) when I shouldn't have. They were not trustworthy, and it blew me away as a kid. I am lucky that I didn't get hurt in any way.

So where am I going with this? Miley Cyrus. Here is the summation from what I can glean from the newsreports. She is Disney's golden girl right now. Recently she did a photo shoot with Vanity Fair magazine, and infamous photographer Annie Leibovitz.

Here is what I know about Annie. She is edgy in her photography. Next time you go to a bookstore, find one of her coffee table books. They are not pornographic in that you won't find her photos in a porno outlet, but hold one of her photos up next to a pornographic picture, and they seem quite similar. Fifteen years ago, she was considered cutting edge/pushing the envelope in terms of her photography. Now, she would be considered, in the photography world, conservative. She is also a lesbian and has no children of her own. She certainly doesn't understand protecting innocence. Instead, push the envelope and photograph it. Her world is very different than the working class masses the rest of us live in.

Here is what I know about Miley. Squeaky clean girl. Her father is famous 90's country singer, Bill Ray Cyrus of "Achy Breaky Heart" fame. He is a staunch Christian, and I have always enjoyed interviews I have seen with him in Christian outlets. Man of God, and has the mission of putting clean entertainment out there.

Miley. I have heard two radio interviews with her on the local Christian radio here. What I have been impressed with when I hear those interviews--the theology that comes out of her. This girl is a Christian and realizes she has a standard to live up to before God, and an example to set for young girls.

Billy Ray and Miley. Very close relationship. They work together on Disney's show "Hannah Montana" where Miley plays Hannah, and Billy Ray is her father. In the interviews and articles I have read about them regarding this show--Billy Ray keeps a tight reign on his daughter. Always talking about being an example, walk the walk, etc. I remember one People magazine article I read last year after Britney Spears shaved her head (a former Disney golden girl), Billy Ray flat out told Miley "Don't go down that path."

So what the heck happened at the photo shoot!? Billy Ray and his wife stepped away, a teacher and a grandparent were left to monitor the shoot, and Annie took photos of Miley that make her appear to be topless, although she isn't. Way too mature of a photo to even offer to shoot, if you ask me, which Annie Leibovitz did, nor did she ask the parents. A moment of confusion. I know when I am watching other people's kids, I am always a little tense as to what my role is in what their allowed to do. I know Annie doesn't have kids, and I certainly believe she took advantage of the situation. If anyone is familiar at all with the Cyrus family, he would have said "Umm...NO!" to such photos. I also think Miley is a young girl who was starstruck that she was being photographed by the Annie Leibovitz. Annie offers a suggestion, I am sure Miley was like "Sure, let's try it." Hence, the photos were taken.

Now, I have read two criticisms that I disagree with. One, the reason why Miley and her family are outspoken about this is because the "photos didn't get the response they wanted" in terms of publicity. I disagree. These photos have not been published at all by anyone. They have been leaked on the internet--which makes me ask, Annie?? Whatcha doing? Infamous photographer let's her photos get leaked on the internet, poor form. Incredibly unprofessional, and exploitive of a fifteen year old girl. It almost makes me wonder if Annie is trying to harm Miley's reputation. Sick!

I have also read the criticism that this is Disney turning another golden girl into a trashy adult, just like all the others before her i.e. Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears, Hillary Duff, etc. Disney came out with a very surprising statement yesterday saying "Unfortunately.....a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines." I wholeheartedly agree, and trust me, I make a point to not agree with Disney. Disney had nothing to do with a Vanity Fair photo shoot. Vanity Fair had everything to do with that photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz leading the way. Yuck!

Okay, why do I think this won't completely knock Miley down to the lowest levels of celebrity tartness? Several reasons.

1) Her family, specifically, her dad. Billy Ray is an ever present person in her life, and they are very close. Show me where Britney's, Jamie Lynn's and Hillary's fathers were when they took their trashy nosedives? No where to be found. I give points for Britney's father who finally forced himself into the picture and is mopping up the mess of her life.

Even when Jamie Lynn announced her teenage pregnancy she was walking in front of the paparazzi with her ta ta's in almost full view, with a very deep V neck. Nice! She is underage, Mom, don't let her out the door!

Billy Ray knows his daughter is still a young girl that needs parenting. Unlike the other tarts who have parents who seem to have the idea that since they look grown up, act grown up, they must be grown up, and hence, their parenting is done. No. Fifteen year olds, especially celebrity fifteen year olds, need their parents even more.

2) Miley is a Christian. And I trust that the interviews I have heard with her are genuine. I also think it is classy that she made a statement way before the pictures got very far on the internet and apologized profusely. She has apologized. I have never heard any of the other tarts apologize for any of their ghastly behavior. They ride the publicity wave when it happens, hence, they have to keep pulling publicity stunts that get trashier and trashier. I trust that when I heard Miley say she fully understands her role and responsibility as a role model, she gets it.

What a mess this is! Annie Leibovitz should be ashamed of herself putting photography before the well being of a fifteen year old.

Please remember, she is, afterall, only fifteen. Adults can't always be trusted, and I think she learned this lesson the hard way.

Rogue Valley Pregnancy Resource Center Reach for the Stars Benefit

I am back. I am so tired! It has been a whirlwind few days with this event. I have no idea where to start. There is so much to say.

My friend, BAS, is the chair of the board of directors for Rogue Valley Pregnancy Resource Centers (RVPRC). This little organization has had some staff changes in the last year, and new faces are in place. Those new faces want to make RVPRC a presence in southern Oregon, and I am all for it.

I was asked several months ago to come to do my testimony. No problem. Two big names were also at this event. Abstinance advocate and great Christian man, AC Green. He was an LA Laker player when the Lakers announced Magic Johnson had the AIDS virus. AC Green was a virgin when he married his wife at age 38. I give this man my respect. Here he is working side by side with a man who is leading a promiscuous lifestyle, while maintaining his purity. Amazing.

The other big name was Bob Kilpatrick. A very influential musical artist and producer. He wrote the song we all know "In My Life Lord". He has worked with big name artists like Randy Stonehill, Steven Curtis Chapman, and Newboys to name a few.

And I did my testimony sandwiched in between these men. Tracy and her husband (see the blogs I watch) Denis came, and again, it was so nice to have familiar faces in the crowd. I visited with them before hand during a dessert reception. Tracy was so sweet asking me what I wanted to eat, and I never turn down lemon bars! But this night, if I ate anything, it wouldn't stay down. I was very nervous.

There was an estimated 300-400 people there. Bob performed. It was a funny combination of humor, music and worship. Great way to start the evening. I did my testimony. AC Green did his talk and reflections. It was wonderful.

I say it was wonderful for a reason. Before I had kids, I worked for PRC of Greater Portland. One of the biggest PRC organizations in the United States. A great place to work. I used to put on events just like this. For three years I also worked in the counseling room, administering pregnancy tests, and talking to lots and lots and lots of women about pregnancy, relationships, STD's, and their future. Those were incredibly hard years, where I worked hard to not burn out. But I would do it again. So that is where I came from.

In terms of events, being behind the scenes this night felt very familiar to me. What just flabbergasts me is how many attacks there were by Satan. I am not one of these people who thinks Satan is behind everything, but you have to wonder with this night.

So many things went wrong. The video presentation that was presented, the credit card machine that didn't show up, the programs that were printed moments before the event, people falling and injuring themselves in the parking lot, family members suddenly getting gravely ill, AC's flight being delayed and rerouted, etc.

I think Satan doesn't want RVPRC to grow.

BUT! God prevailed, if you didn't know all of these things were going wrong behind the scenes, and participated as an attendee, you would not have known so much was going wrong. It went off well. To God be the glory for that.

New donors were recruited, new faces saw what RVPRC does, and RVPRC will be growing soon by adding ultrasound machines to their ministry. I know Satan doesn't want that to happen. Women who see their babies on an ultrasound machine statistically don't have abortions. Suddenly the positive test stick becomes a human being.

What were some fun things? AC Green raffled off a few things signed by him. I put a whole bunch of stock in the signed basketball and bought a bunch of tickets. I wanted to bring that ball home to the boys. I didn't win. BUT! As I was talking to AC, he told me this summer, in my city, where he holds an annual basketball camp, bring my kids and a ball and he'll sign it for me. How generous and kind! He told me when he would be there and how to catch him. I didn't ask, he offered that, and he certainly didn't have to do that. How nice!

JM asked that I have a picture with him doing rabbit ears. Get this, AC let me! I don't know if I would do that. Have you ever done rabbit ears behind a man who is six feet nine inches tall? The ears are hard to see.

Anyway, a great evening. I am thankful for the opportunity. I am still reveling in it. I am excited to hear how God grows this ministry. Satan got stomped on that night. The attempts to stop this event were not successful, and they were pretty amazing attempts.

This man won the basketball.

Tracy with AC Green. Her shoulder comes up to his elbow.
AC is dauntingly tall.

I am standing on two steps. I would normally be closer to where Tracy was.

Dog Sale and a Few More Thoughts

JM: (really excited) Mom, I know the difference between a dog sale and a garage sale!

Me: Really? (I have no idea....) What is the difference?

JM: Get it? Dog. Sale. Get it? Because dogs have a lot of junk. Get it?

I don't.

But his delivery of a joke was pretty cute.

Okay, I have to pack up everyone today and head to Medford, OR with the kids, but without the husband. I have a lot to do. Please pray for me, because my back is spasming pretty good right now. I have had chronic back pain for several years, and usually we just muscle through it and take it easy for a day. Not today. I have to pack up our minivan and drive in one position for five hours. And I am not surprised--I am preaching a pro life message tomorrow night. The enemy would prefer I didn't do that. I'll be fine, but I am really hurting right now. Just walking up and down stairs jars my lower back.

Hair stuff! I like my hair even more seeing it this morning! I will post directions on how to do that when I return.

I will be returning to a busy day on Saturday. Look for an update post on Sunday.

Blessings to all of you this week!

It is done!

Okay I have a before picture. And I have an after. You won't be able to tell much difference. But that is what I wanted! I wanted to just barely cover the blonde highlights, cover a bunch of gray and not look like a Hollywood tart who colors their hair differently every week.

I definitely had a freak out moment as I was working the stuff through my hair and it's purple!

The one above is the before. I am sorry, I didn't have a before the hair cut. This is after about six inches are taken off. As you can see, lots of blonde.

This one is courtesy of JM. It was post freak out moment, but nonetheless, quite nervous.


Here is after. I am trying to get a close up to show nice brown hair, and a lot less blonde and very little gray. I like it!

Get this! I did this all tonight without my husband here, and he didn't notice when he got home!

Things I will do differently next time. I still have grays that I can find. I will definitely hit those gray spots a lot harder next time and maybe do a double dose on them. But if you look at the final picture above. My temple that you see is one of the grayest spots on my head. It got covered okay, but I know to hit it harder and thicker next time.

Here are the products I used per the wonderful advice of my fellow candle consultant who always has fabulous hair:

**Clairol Professional Complements Demi-Color (that means semi permanent, you won't have the stair step roots, it will gradually wash out over time)

**Color Prompter Oxydant

**Ion Color Solutions Color Defense After Color Sealing Treatment

**two bottles for mixing and applying, I am holding one up in the picture

All products were bought at Sally Beauty Supply for under $20.00. Nice! And I got a $13 haircut at the Perfect Look next door.

I have never done this before...so my friend emailed me full instructions. Do you all need those too? I can post them. I know a few of you were really interested in this. I have never ever done this before, and am glad I didn't burn my hair off my head. As much as I love my hair, just the thought of that makes me feel ill.

Should I tell the story of when we adopted BH? I was so incredibly stressed out my hair fell out in bunches--for months. Should I make that my next post?

Beyond Disturbing

If you have a weak constitution, don't read this. But honestly, this is the world we live in. As Christians we need to have a voice and speak intelligently, as salt and light, in such disturbing situations.

If anyone ever wonders why I am pro life....read this article. Click here.

Basically a Yale student is having her "art" exhibit yanked by Yale because she claims that she used miscarriages that she induced in herself to produce. The article is done by Fox News and is tasteful in how it describes the art, so don't worry. She is being very ambiguous about how she made this "art". One minute she is saying it is miscarried blood, the other she isn't. She says this is all part of the "performance".

Yale has taken a very hard stand on this to her. It will not be allowed to be displayed unless she is unambiguously willing to submit a truthful statement saying that this is not miscarried blood or blood of any kind used in this "art". They have also disciplined the instructors involved.

My two cents. The instructors should be fired. Do I need to defend that? I hope not. To allow this student to proceed with such a project, even if this is all an act, demonstrates a complete lack of any sort of decorum. If anything it shows a very disturbing side of anyone who would entertain this kind of "art". I think this way about Hitler who used body parts as art. We can all agree that is disturbing, this is in that category.

My other two cents. Any man who is a student on Yale's campus. Do not date this girl! Your child, not fetus or embryo, could end up as "art" smeared on paper for the world to gaze at. That is what this girl did. She is using dead people as art, very much like Hitler. Those remains are little fingers, hearts, toes, etc. And to be paraded in an exhibit and revered as art. Absolutely beyond disgusting. It is criminal, and I mean it. I wish there was a law that was being broken here.

Let's just call this what it is. If she indeed induce miscarriages, which is dangerous by the way. She could easily cause her uterus to bleed uncontrollably and bleed to death. But there are secret ways to do that, she induced abortions. Period. She did not induce "miscarriages".

I also think it is quite interesting that so far today, this story is only be reported on by Fox News.

If this were my daughter, her behind would be yanked off that campus, hauled home, no more tuition dollars for her, and some serious counseling would be happening. What in the world is this world coming to for a young undergraduate (18-22 years old assuming) doing wasting Yale tuition dollars by doing this? I can't imagine what her parents must be thinking. If they are proud, this is even more macabre.

I am so disturbed by this.

Guess Who Visited?

That is the email I get from reunion.com when someone has visited my profile.

So I go check, who is it?

"A 108-year-old female living in Colorado Springs, CO, who attended XXXX High School."

Who could that be?

I almost missed her disguise of being 108, because that could be so many other people. Plus all of my grandparents are deceased. But I used my noggin a bit and figured it out. She visits my profile about the middle of the month every couple of months.

My stalker.

I Played Hooky Today

Tracy and her husband were in town today! Her blog is listed as one of the ones I read. I got to meet her at my favorite coffee hang out in the Albina district (look under "seasonal" for "Van Port?" where I give a brief history of North Portland).

First, Tracy and her hubbie came over to our home to check out our chicken situation. They are considering putting together a little chicken set up and wanted to see ours. Of course, Tracy needed to try on BH's helmet. To her surprise it fit!



Although BH, was definitely not happy that she did that. He had just woken up and hadn't shaken off the grumpies yet.



What a treat! Plus a long time acquaintance joined us. Her name is AR. I know she will read this. I am big on not putting out full names without permission. For anyone who knows me personally, it's kind of fun--AR and I have the same name. Kind of unusual! We don't have a common name.

Anyway, AR and I go way back but truly on a very limited acquaintance level. What a treat to sit and have a light lunch and coffee with her, Tracy and Tracy's husband!

We talked about our national health care crisis, Enron, adoption. Black History month, racial issues, eHarmony.com, church, movies seen recently, playing Pack Rat on facebook.com, jobs, Discovery Channel shows, diet, etc. It was the coolest! Thank you all of you! I had such a wonderful morning, and I will just enjoy the warm fuzzies from it for days to come.

Plus, I am very much hoping that AR and I can ignite our relationship to more than acquaintances. What a treat to meet her and have quality time with her.

I learned more about African American issues. Thank you AR. She grew up in Brooklyn and has stories to tell. She also opened my eyes up more that the racial tension in this country is still pretty tight. Our work in racial equality, safety, and perceptions is not over. Again, what a treat to sit and listen and learn.

Here is the group photo! We had fun. Let's do it again sometime ladies and gentleman!

Ships and the Caribbean

It's that time of year for me. The company that I rep for gives away a big trip to those who earn it every year. When I started doing this 8 years ago, these trips were not on my top list of things to accomplish. But I did earn my first one in 2003, and haven't not earned it. These are the kinds of trips that people save up their whole lifetime to go on, and I have had the honor to attend five and look forward to my sixth.

This year, it is a Caribbean cruise. This will be serendipitous for me. My first trip was a Caribbean cruise. Since then, we have gone to Mexico, Hawaii, Aruba, and the Paradise Island Resort in the Bahamas where we saw a lot of celebrities. It has been an honor.

One bummer, if I can say that. My husband can't always go. These trips are always prescheduled. They usually come around the third week of May. He is a college professor. So, unless the timing is right, he usually has to do final grades, administer tests, etc. that he just can't get out of.

Many years I have taken family members, and that has been fun. The year I went to Hawaii, I took my dad. That was completely God putting that together. We had just had our third adoption completely bomb, and I was a wreck. Sitting with my dad on a raft in a lagoon for hours and hours just talking through that garbage was better than any therapy. He gave me the emotional boost to try adopting again. I honestly wanted to stop trying. Well, thanks to him BH is in our family. In fact, it was while I was standing in the lobby of the hotel getting ready to depart, that an agency called me, "Can we show your profile to this family?" I said, "Sure, whatever." That was BH's birthfamily.

So, I am excited for this year. I am taking one of my best friends who will never get an opportunity to go on such a trip. Her husband hates cruises. That alone will make it so she never goes. She has never gotten to go on such a purely relaxing, don't make breakfast, do laundry or clean the house sort of vacation.

We will be leaving the third weekend in May and returning during Memorial Day weekend. Why do I put out this little brag? Honestly, many people out there say to me, "You still doing that candle thing? Why don't you get a real job?" Well, I make more money doing this than I ever have at a "real job". I have never been offered a huge travel package like this on an annual basis from a job. And I haven't found one yet that allows me to stay home with my kids during the day. I'll consider it when a gig that can compete with that comes along.

I'm Going to do This!

Okay, here is my hair story.....

Seven years ago, I got sick of the gray hair creeping onto my head. I took the plunge, with my hubbie's blessing and went to a salon. We agreed that adding highlights would be a great way to cover the gray. I have done that ever since, and have normally liked the results. I look stylish, the gray is detracted from.

I don't like it anymore. I have to pay someone some bucks to do it every quarter, when I really should have it touched up every six weeks. The color fades quickly and the gray is now mixed with highlights. Plus I have more gray hair now than I did seven years ago, let's just face that reality head on.

I have never ever delved into the world of hair color! I know people who joke, "I don't know what my original hair color is." I am not in the world.

I have a friend who I noticed when I looked at older pictures of her....she colors her hair and it's not highlighted. I asked her the low down.

Get this....she does it herself, and it looks great! She gave me the scoop. No, this is not Loreal from the drug store. This is from the beauty supply store. She gave me a shopping list and some great help, instructions and advice. I am glad she did, because I walked into the store this morning and almost cried. Again, I get paralyzed by the choices we have in this country!

I am going back to my natural brunette brown, no more carmel/blonde highlights! I need to find a quiet time, at the bathroom sink, and do it. I am nervous. If I mess this up.....I am not going there. Well, that is what salons are for right?

I got a trimmed haircut this morning. That is shocking in itself. My hair is normally to the middle of my back or lower. It's just below my shoulders now.

If this turns out as great as my friend's hair looks, I will have given myself a mini makeover for a third the price of what I pay for highlights. Plus, I will have a little confidence boost before my big speaking engagement next week. But if I screw it up.....I am a little nervous! Wish me luck!

It's Skate Church today...

Today is Wednesday, so we can expect my seven year old to be on his best behavior. If he isn't, he doesn't get to go tonight.

Our two year wants to go so bad. Here is how that conversation goes:

BH: Momma, I wanna go to skate chursh (trying to get his enunciation in here).
Me: You can when you are older.
BH: I get to go when I odor?
Me: Yes.
BH: Hey! I going to skate chursh when I odor!

Ten minutes later....

BH: Momma! I odor now!

It's coming up!

Next week. Next Thursday the 24th to be exact.

I will be speaking at a southern Oregon, Pregnancy Resource Center fundraising banquet.

I love to do this, and I haven't done it in a long time. I have dusted off the old speech and definitely updated the material. Now I find myself practicing in my head while driving, in the shower, falling asleep for the night, etc.

I am getting a little nervous! There are some top names speakers at this event. There is definitely the cliche of "tough act to follow". I am the caboose act! Not the highlighted one.

I extend the invitation again, if anyone out there is in Medford, OR next Thursday and would like to attend as my guest, please let me know.

Please pray as I really fine tune the message. Please pray God's words would be spoken, not mine. That is probably where I feel the most pressure, making sure I say what needs to be said and not my own agenda.

Walking Down Memory Lane

Seriously, I love looking at pictures of my kids. I was talking to some friends today who were reminiscing about BH's hair when he was a baby. Some people couldn't remember. Deep inside, I thought, how could you forget? So I pulled some pictures out, and thought I'd share some with you.

This one has a thing that is easy to miss. Check out the string of drool between BH's chin and mine. It was hilarious.
This is BH on the Fourth of July 2005. Those are my dad's hands. He was so little. We had only had him a couple of days at this point. Look at that head of hair! He was born with a full head of hair. When you cuddled with him and smelled his head, it wasn't sweet baby smell, it was hair.
This is spring of 2006, and we did cornrows a lot.
This is probably one of the last pictures I took of him before the big buzz. He was almost a year old here. Love the cute half smile!
Here is the winter of 2005. Cornrows and sweet potatoes.

Why did we keep his hair so long that first year? It's an African American tradition, or even advice. The advice is that if you cut their hair in the first year, you are asking for a lifetime of ingrown hairs because of how curly their hair is. We followed that advice. As you can see, it was an adventurous year. I paid someone to teach me how cornrow hair. I also paid her to cornrow BH's hair. This little white bred woman can cornrow hair, and I am quite proud of that.

Anyway, memory lane......I hope you enjoyed it.

When I Was a Kid....

I was the stitches kid. I went to the ER on three or four separate occasions for stitches. I can remember one incident in the 8th grade where I should have definitely had stitches but didn't, and the scar to prove it. Why do I bring this up?

We almost had our first ER visit tonight. It would have definitely been stitches if not a concussion. For those of us in our area, spring sprung today and it's shorts weather. We ate outside on the front porch, it's so nice.

My kids and their wheeled toys. My two year old who must keep up with his big brother. And my strict requirement--you must wear a helmet if you are on wheels. Period. That is the only reason we aren't in the ER right now.

My husband and I both saw it happen right before our eyes. I hope I can describe this well. Two year coming screaming down the sidewalk. We have an ever so slight incline on our street. If a kid gets some momentum going, it's pretty fun. He was doing it. The picture below is him doing it a few weeks ago.



So from the picture above of the sidewalk, he came from the left to the right. His foot hit the red car. And he compensated a bit, which knocked him down. His helmet hit those bricks. He rolled to our right and screamed loudly. If he didn't have that helmet on, I am sure he would have had a nice gash, maybe knocked unconscious, for sure getting stitches, and possibly a concussion. He hit hard.

I am a big believer in helmets. I know I came out of childhood fairly unscathed injury wise, but really, many of the times I got stitches, if I had a helmet, I wouldn't have had stitches. Keep in mind, helmets were not even made for kids when I was a kid.

Anyway, BH will have a little shiner. The care we had to administer was hugs, kisses and an ice pack.

Sk8 Church

My kids have always liked to skateboard. JM had his first skateboard at age four. I don't discourage it. It's something he can do without having to sign up and go to a practice three times a week. When the kids want to do it, they just go whizzing up and down our street whenever they want.

As JM has gotten older this last year, I can see he is really starting to work on doing the tricks he sees others doing. He is interested in meeting people who are skateboard dudes. That began to worry me just a bit. He's only seven, and that can be a little bit of a seedy world.

No more! I have known about this ministry since forever, but didn't know they had a Pee Wee session. It's every Wednesday night from 6:30-8:30 pm. Bring your helmet, board, scooter, heelies, whatever on wheels. Parents need to come and sign the consent form in front of staff (no rogue skaters out there forging forms!) the first time. Click here for their website. They have the forms there, so if you want to print them, fill everything else in, then come and sign them in front of staff, that is the fastest way to do it. After that, they issue an ID card for everyone. Why? That is the world of liability we live in. As a parent, I feel pretty good they are keeping track of who is coming and going, making sure parents are consenting to kids being there, and also medical consent forms. They are not just a bunch of skater dudes skating with their friends.

Skate Church has been around our area since I have moved here. I was a student at the Bible college right next door to Skate Church. My husband now teaches at that college. We have always been on the periphery of this church, and heard of the cool things that are happening there. Many of my classmates when I was a student did Skate Church for their ministry, and I just kind of blew it off. Well, after watching the video they have on their website, hearing the statistics on the popularity of skateboarding, the kids who are coming to know Jesus Christ as their Savior, etc. I am going to say it first--I blew it off and I shouldn't have. God is working in Skate Church, and I am impressed. I should have been impressed 10+ years ago. Please take a moment to watch the video on their website.

A student who had seen our JM skating around campus told my hubbie about the Pee Wee (under fifth grade) session on Wednesday nights. JM is hooked. It's an hour of boarding, a Bible study, and then more boarding. What did JM talk about the most when he came home the first night? Bible study. Very cool! Plus, he gets to hear Bible study from the cool dudes he looks up to so much, and I trust them inherently.

These are students at the college doing Skate Church for their student ministry. They are not just strangers off the street who are hanging out. This ministry is directed to that underworld of skaters who just kind of are on the periphery of organized churches. I am so amazed at what God is doing through this little ministry. This is an organized ministry with definite goals and plans.

I am just so pleased that JM has a place where he can do skateboarding, learn those stunts he's been dying to learn, and yet not have to worry about influences. I am so glad he is also seeing the need to talk to others about Christ, bring his friends to Skate Church, etc.

Greg's Music

I know I have had Gregory Boyd over on my blog's I watch. It's his myspace page. I know Greg has had great success promoting his music on myspace. I finally got a podcast of some of his latest songs.

For those of you who don't know who Greg Boyd is to me. He and I went to high school together. We reconnected over the last few years, and I keep tabs on his music trans-Atlantically. He lives in Denmark with his wife and new baby these days. I credit a lot of what I think about racial issues these days to a kind of defining moment in my life I had with him in high school. You can click here for a past post I did on this.

Honestly, I love listening to him sing. When he and I were in high school together, I didn't know he could sing. I only knew he could drum like no other, and obviously he still does. Those pan drums you will hear in the background are him.

He drums while he sings. From what I understand from people who are drummers, that is about one of the hardest things to do. Basically you have two songs going in your head.

Anyway, here is a link to two of his latest songs. Very nice, jazzy, light mood songs. Click here.

Baby Beat Box

This is hilarious. Wanna see what looks like a Jewish rabbi and a baby doing beat box?

Just click here.

The older of the two is a Christian thinker. Yes, he is really doing that with just his mouth and maybe a bit of spit. The younger of the two is his son and apprentice. I can't wait until the young apprentice is about fifteen.

Stay tuned in about fourteen years for that post.

April 15th....

You have a huge deadline coming and yet, you can wait--yet you can't.

You're so excited!

What is it? Tax day? Schmax day!

The season premiere of "Deadliest Catch" on the Discovery Channel!

What is even cooler? The Discovery Channel is putting on marathons of past season's shows. Honestly, if you have never watched this show, I recommend it. King Crab fishing in the Bering Sea of Alaska is the deadliest job on this planet. There is a 100% injury rate. During crab season, an average of one fisherman per week will perish. I know, that is horrible--it's the deadliest job on earth for a reason. Watching these guys work in the most incredible conditions is amazing. They are the toughest breed around.

One of my favorite ships highlighted is the "Northwestern". The brothers who own and operate that ship are the funniest guys. Plus, they come from a long family line of Norwegian fishermen. It's in their blood, and you can see it while they work. It's fascinating.

Last season we got to see one of the highlighted fishing vessels rescue a man who had fallen off of a boat. We also got to see the Coast Guard rescue a man as well. Keep in mind, if you end up in the frigid waters of the Bering Sea, you have moments to live.

Plus, there is levity. The humor of fishermen is right up there with truckers and biker chicks. It's pretty funny. Click here for Discovery Channel's official website. You can also see mini clips from last seasons as well.

So, if you want to see why I am so hooked on it, take a gander at some of past season's shows. It will prime your pump for the fast approaching day.....April 15th.


Can you feel the excitement in the air?

UPDATE: Click here for an article regarding a ship that sank during crab season in the Bering Sea. This is an incredible tragedy and my heart goes out to the men who tried to rescue this man, his family and fellow crew members. This ship was not a part of Discovery Channel's ships they follow.

I want to clarify, I don't watch this show so I can watch tragedy. I watch it to see how amazingly hard these men work, the incredible power of nature in the Bering Sea, and the guts of the men who do this kind of work. It is the most dangerous job on earth and tragedy does happen.

I do hope that from the tragedy above, there are improvements done for the men's "safety suits". They are a type of thermal suit that they can slip on if they realize the boat is sinking. Survival rates increase dramatically if they can be in the water with one of those on. Men have been rescued 24+ hours after falling in the water with those on.

Blast From the Past....Lookie What I Found!

Old pictures! This is JM when he was about one or so. He's wearing shorts, so he must be like 15-18 months old. He's trying on my shoes. What is so funny, when we showed this to BH this morning the conversation went like this:

Dad: BH, who is that?
BH: That is me.
Dad: No, that is JM.
BH: No, that is me.
Dad: No, that is JM.
BH: No, that is me.
Dad: No, that is JM.
BH: No, that is me.

You get the point.

Who are those young people? Hubbie and I about choked when he found this. We showed it to the kids, here is how that went with JM:

Dad: JM, who is that?
JM: That is you and Mom.
Dad: That was a long time ago (specifically 1991 for our readers out there).
JM: Daddy, that was before you had a mustache on your chin.

Adoption Updates

That time of year has arrived. For BH's birthparents, we are contractually required to send updates about him.

I don't like to say it that way. I honestly wish I could do this for JM's birthparents, but they didn't want updates, and their story is completely different.

But BH's does. I really enjoy doing this. I feel like we are putting together a care package for them, and I try to make it as special as possible. We are required to send a letter that contains developmental updates, medical updates, and general well being. I am also required to send at least a dozen photographs that are high quality and even portrait quality. Again, I use the word "require" to describe the reality of it, but it's pure joy to do it. I would do it even if were just asked of me. I would do it if I knew that the person would receive it.

What do I actually do? I send a two page letter updating them from the previous letter. I write the letter as if I am writing to a close family member. Why? Because these people are, maybe not in the most traditional sense, but they are family in the adoption sense. All new things BH has been doing including all medical updates. As he gets older those are not such a focus. He has had some minor medical issues since birth and we always address any updates regarding that.

Pictures? I send at least two dozen and put dates on the backs of all of them. The one that was done above was a portrait we had done of the boys in December, and I love it. We had some more traditional ones done but I love this because it shows their skin so beautifully. I know, it's a little artsy and not everyone likes them, but I sure do! In other words, I tend to go way overboard of what I am required to do.

I honestly enjoy doing this. Why? Because if I were a birthparent, I would want this. I also want to do this because it is yet another opportunity to thank birthparents for their gift.

I say this because I do talk to people who think open adoption means having all these visits, talking on the phone, emailing, etc. Yes, there are plenty of open adoptions like that. But those are relationships that have been nurtured and have come to a point of familiarity where that is comfortable for them. I encourage anyone considering adoption to not discount those kinds of open adoptions. It is a relationship that requires nurturing.

Our relationship with BH's birthparents was agreed to be on paper. Many many open adoptions are like this. It may seem easier than the above scenario, but I do miss one thing tremendously. I would love to hug both of my son's birth moms hard. I would want to whisper in their ear while hugging them what a brave and courageous person I think they are. I have never had that opportunity with either child's birthmoms. However, I try as hard as I can to do it every time it is picture time.

It is the least I can do. I wish I could do more.

As I am prepping myself to do this next package, something nice has come up. I was talking to JM about how we need to do this, and think of nice things to say and send. Of course, he started asking about his birthmom, and I did the run down of the answers. What is her name, what was she like, how old is she, who is my birth father, etc. I also explained that her life is a bit complicated and having contact would have made things difficult for her. But hopefully someday we can meet her and talk to her.

JM asked if he could write a letter to her. I explained to him that he could, but we may not be able to mail it right away, but we would hang onto it for her. At that moment, I had a "duh!" Many many adoption resources I have speak to this very thing. Having kids write letters at different ages to their birthparents, to hopefully be given to them at a later date. If anything to have those special letters to look back on. Of course!

So we talked about how he could write a letter to his birthmom and we would save it for her. I also asked if he would like to write a letter to BH's birthparents telling them how much he loves having his little brother, how much fun he is, etc. JM says he wants to do this but, "I need to think about it." So he's thinking about it. I think he's thinking about how annoying his little brother is.

We are having this conversation in the car on the way to school. Whenever we have a bit of a "deep" conversation about adoption, I let his teacher know. He usually continues to talk about it in class, and she is great in making sure he isn't inadvertently opening himself up to being teased and making sure it's a teaching moment. So as I am talking to her, of course, the tears begin. Anytime I have this kind of a talk with JM or anyone, the tears begin. Why? Two women out there gave me children from their womb to raise. How incredible is that? That is a gift I can never repay, and it humbles me to tears. It makes me cry every time.

I hope JM does write the letter to BH's birthparents. How special would that be for BH's birthparents to receive that? Also I am hoping this also helps JM work through that he doesn't have that kind of contact with his birth mom. I am anticipating that conversation someday too. I really do think that someday we will meet her.

Anyway, it's a special season. Care packages are being assembled. Pictures are being ordered and assembled. Letters are being written. I am looking forward to this particular season as JM comprehends his adoption story even more.

I need to find a tissue....

April Fool's for 1st Graders

We didn't do much for April Fool's when I was growing up mainly because my stalker's birthday is the same day. It hasn't been until I have been a grown up that I have come to appreciate a good prank on this day.

But the best one was my son's teacher. She sent a note home on March 31st explaining the prank she would pull on the class. Families normally provide a sack lunch for kids, but this day the school would. But would we parents still provide a lunch? But be creative. Make it something yucky. Or nothing at all. Something that will surprise the kids.

I stood over my son's lunch box this morning wondering what to do. He was directly behind me in the dining room but not watching me closely. I had to make it look like I was doing my morning routine.

I really wanted to do something but didn't. When he starts moaning and groaning and complaining "I am hungry, what's for dinner?" "I am bored, what are we doing today?" "What is for dessert?" But in that whiny drawn out exasperated way, sound familiar? My normal humorous answer is something like this, "We're eating dirt for dinner." "We are getting shovels and digging up worms to eat with our dirt." "For dessert we're having a little touch of compost." What I really wanted to do was make a sandwich with dirt. I couldn't because if I went outside with a shovel for dirt, he would have asked what I was doing. Oh well.

But my creativity was still good. I put in a baggie of uncooked pasta. A baggie of dried lentils. Two pieces of bread with no filling, just bread. A wrapper from a granola bar. A jar of baby food that BH has outgrown. And a fork. He'll need a fork somehow I am sure. I did put in his standard can of lemonade. One cool thing, it had the same weight to it a normal lunch has, so he didn't think a thing of it.

When I picked him up from school all the parents were giggling. One grandmother put in dog biscuits! That was a great idea! Anyway, the kids were definitely fooled. They all joked around with us. It was the whole, "I can't believe my parents are that funny!" thing.

What I thought odd, the things that came back from his lunch. The jar of baby food, the bread and the fork are missing.

I have no idea.