Just Messing With The Videos

I know blogger just got a really nicely updated way of sharing videos and I thought I'd mess with it. So of course, that means I get to share with you some of the videos I have. Since I have kids and pets, I will share the kids.

Here is one that took about ten takes about a month ago. BH can sing his ABC's but just note, his enunciating isn't great but is certainly cute.

I didn't get a good video of it, but since he was 18 months old he has been able to count to ten. In February when I showed our family doctor that little trick, her mouth gaped open. He definitely has the second child benefits. He learns things very quickly because he has an older brother who shows him things. Or if older brother isn't showing him, BH is following close behind and learning empirically.

I am also embarassed by how unkept my office is. BH is sitting on my knees while I am filming this, and the back drop is my office. Things have changed since this was taken in July. This whole office is going to be the spare room it should be, with room for the kid(s) to do their school work. I feel good that you can actually see the vacuum cleaner.

And there you have it. The ABC's.

What a weird day!

Oregon is definitely known for it's rain. But one thing that doesn't happen often here are thunderstorms and hailstorms. I grew up Colorado where, during the summer months, there is a thunderstorm almost every afternoon. Not here! We got it today. It looked like snow. When I picked up JM from school, the kids were positively buzzing about it and thought it was fascinating. I thought it was too until the noise on the roof woke up the two year old from his nap.

The chickens are wondering of these new pellets are edible.

Adoption Connections

I love what I do because I meet so many people, from so many places, different walks of life, different stories to tell.

Recently, an example of what happens to me all the time happened at a candle party. I'll use this as an example for you of some of the things I get to chat about with folks. One of the guests, M, starts asking me adoption questions as things are winding down. Candle parties being a social event that brings about a nice atmosphere for conversations.

Turns out M is the adoptive mother of a little girl from China. They are working on a second child from China. Our initial conversation centers around the myths I have addressed here regarding domestic adoptions. Birth parents intruding in adoptive parent's lives, birth parents coming back and taking children, bad adoption workers not getting paperwork done that prevents those things, etc. I can honestly say, I think she felt comforted that this doesn't happen regularly anymore. The key is to find a good adoption agency.

Please see my past blog dated 7/22/2007 (that long ago??) specifically addressing some bad press. Also please see my blog dated 8/16/2007 just addressing concerns I hear all the time. Onto the candle party...

We started talking about our journeys that brought us to adoption. For both her and I, it's infertility. I won't tell you her story here, because that is for her to tell, but it was a good conversation.

She spoke to how when they decided to adopt over a specific infertility treatment, some people close to their lives bucked at it and questioned, "Why would you adopt instead of XXXX?" Because that is what they have decided. By the way, the procedure she spoke of costs as much as some adoptions, with a very low success rate.

We also talked about that "thing" that happens to all couples after they have been married a few years. "Are you planning to have a family?" starts swirling around conversations. Especially as others start having their kids. We have all experienced that. As we talked about it, I had a lightbulb moment.

We all know couples that have been married several years without kids. M was one and I was as well. And that simple question starts coming and doesn't quit, "Are you planning to have kids?" Or the silly version "When are you going to give grandkids to your parents?"

The real question behind that is "why haven't you had kids yet?" It's a nosy question, and I admit sometimes I am nosy too.

Okay, there are two answers to that question in this scenario.

1) The couple has chosen to not have kids, in which case, the answerer has the rolled eyes and "here we go again" look on their face. Putting myself in their shoes I would get annoyed always having to state the apologetic for choosing not to have kids.

2) The couple is infertile. In which case, that is an incredibly hurtful question. Trust me, they're trying with all their might! Both M and I agreed to having moments where we are screaming inside "You have no idea!"

I had never thought of that. No matter how nicely or jokingly you ask that curious question to a long time married person--no good can come from the answer.

The inquirer will either get the exasperated "because we don't want to." Or the look of hurt because she just got her monthly cycle for the millionth time after having a really expensive procedure.

No good can come from that question. That was my lightbulb moment. If I am ever compelled to ask that question, and I haven't asked it in a long time....I will choose to remain in my state of curiousity. I am really saying this for myself as well, because I have been guilty of this, and I know I have caused someone a little heartache.

One cool thing that came from this, two of my good friends listened in a bit and saw some new aspects of adoption. I thought that was kind of cool too.

Got our heads around this!

I think we have this whole racial thing under control now. No worries!

Here is what was happening. JM was coming home almost every day saying kids were making fun of him in general, then he started saying specifically H was doing it. Then it was becoming racially directed. The words and the person were pretty specific.

Now, I am not the kind of mom who thinks her kids are complete angels and would never do anything wrong. They do--often, and so do I. JM many times is not just the victim. If he tells you a kid has done something to him and you ask him what he did to the kid--you'd be surprised! He can pick on other kids as good as the others! I have made it abundantly clear--if you want to not be teased, don't tease. If you want to be treated nice, then be nice.

Here is how we got to the bottom of it. I went and told the principal what was being said. She and I prayed about it, which was comforting. She did some sleuthing as well as JM's teacher that day. Mrs. K, the teacher, was a gem! She is awesome at asking probing questions and the kids don't even know she is probing. She also assigned her assistant to kind of shadow JM that whole day.

Two things came out--JM denied to Mrs. K and the principal that he had said these things to me. Did your stomach just drop? Mine did too when the principal called me. Mrs. K. also left me a message saying the same thing. What is going on??! It is hard to catch Mrs. K because, of course, she is teaching. We all agree that JM and I will stay after school and figure this out.

Aside here--JM can lie. Show me a kid who doesn't. But he has really spun some good yarns lately that just floor me. I realize after calling the hubbie--we might have just gotten sucked into one. And not only that, JM has pulled a lot of other adults into this. Let's make a list: R and A, the two adults he told at soccer, and it upset them. My husband and myself. The other transracial adoptive couple we asked for advice from on Sunday. The principal and Mrs. K. Plus, possible the little boy who was falsely accused! Now remember, on Friday night, I sat down with JM and said to him, "No stories here, buddy. I need the absolute truth. Tell me what is going on at school." He lied to my face.

I also told him I would talk to the principal on Monday. He had three days to say "Ummm...Mom...maybe you shouldn't". I think he basked in the little bit of extra attention he got over the weekend. I even reminded him Monday morning I was going to talk to her, and he still didn't say anything. Yet, two hours later, deer in the headlights, "I didn't say anything like that, Mrs. K!"

When I picked up JM and the other kids were being picked up by their parents, I pulled him aside. I told him we were staying after school to talk to the teacher and the principal. I didn't start questioning him at all. I told him when the principal and Mrs. K come, he needs to start telling the truth, and he will need to start apologizing because he has been lying to one of us. He stood there and thought a minute...."Okay, Mom, here goes." I really didn't want him to just tell me, I wanted him to tell us all, but he told me. He lied and what a lie he told! All of the racially charged accusations were a lie.

He could have really gotten that other little boy in trouble if the principal and Mrs. K. hadn't done some sleuthing. I asked him where in the world he came up with such words! They were absolutely racially charged. He said, in his head. Okay, clue there, but that is the second thing....keep reading...but at the moment, he had to apologize to his teacher and his principal.

Mrs. K. nailed him. She made it clear she accepted the apology, but that she would have a hard time trusting him, she also pointed out that lying feels so good in the beginning, but it creates a big mess, it will be hard to stop lying, but he needs to ask God for help. She has JM's number dialed in. She also pointed out to him she saw him lie about something else that day, and she just ignored him. I just stood back and watched her work. Obviously, she is doing what she is gifted at, and that is first graders! I was impressed.

The principal was sweet and accepted his apology and gave him a hug. Told him always to come and talk to her if he ever needs to talk.

I was so embarrassed, you have no idea!! I also have my two friends who were lied to. Well, JM has to call them and apologize. I emailed them ahead of time to warn them, and of course, nothing but graciousness from them. I also encouraged them to tell him that he caused them to worry about him needlessly. He needs to also see that he hurt others, and that they will accept his apology.

Oh my word! What a mess! The second big thing that came out from all of this--the next day at school, Mrs. K. pulled me aside to tell me about a conversation JM had with another student that the assistant heard. JM was asking another student, "What color is my skin? What color is my face?" The child answered, "Black." (Given the chance, he might even come home and tattle that someone called him black in a bad way....see the lie? Yes, the kid said he was black, but JM also asked!) Then JM pointed to another African American student and cried out, "She's black!" Well, that isn't nice to do to her only because he made it sound like being black was bad, and the teacher and I talked about all of this. JM seems to be going through a kind of racial identity search and he's asking all the questions of his peers, and confusing himself and them in the process. Plus, he's going to make himself a target if he doesn't chill out. Okay! Now I have got it!

Now, we have some redemption here. I had a nice sit down with JM this morning before school. I encouraged him to always come to Mom and Dad with those kinds of questions. We want to answer them! Plus they can sometimes be complicated and his friends may not be able to answer them. His big point was, "Mom, I am not black, I am brown. So why do they say black?" Do you see how this whole mess came about from just that little point right there? Six year old semantics spun with six year old lying. Lots of talking, lots of encouraging, lots of open discussion.

What a mess!

Cardboard Landscape

Here's a little gardening tip I learned in a gardening magazine several years ago. This is the south side of my house that bumps right up to the neighbors driveway. It's hard to get in here, hard to grow grass, but really easy to grow weeds.

So, take a bunch of cardboard, which I have since I am rearranging my house right now getting ready for moving my office to the basement (T has been over--and I have much to do!). Flatten it and lay it out over the dirt of whatever you want to have weed free for a couple of years. Double layer it in corners and overlaps. Then shovel bark mulch over it, and water it with water until it is drenched and wet. Well, this is Oregon, I'll wait for the weather to do that.

So, you have a handsome bed, no weeds, and it's not chemically induced! Once the cardboard really begins to break down and compost, it will start to grow weeds, but it will be a few years. Or if a weed take root on top, it pulls up like nothing because the roots haven't penetrated the cardboard.

And then the proverbial rubber hits the road....

The day finally came today. I could see it coming, and I thought it wouldn't be so hard or make me so emotional.

I had to sit down with my six year old son and explain to him what racism is.

Let me tell you how this has begun. JM has been in school, what? three weeks. He has come home almost daily with complaints about a particular little boy, H, who picks on him. Like any parent, we talk about how he needs to tell the teacher, he needs to stay away from him, he needs to do this, he needs to do that.....blah blah blah. Seems stupid now. This little boy, H, also makes fun of JM's skin color. We have talked about that on a smaller scale, with mostly the results being to tell the teacher. Why? Because she is a responsible adult who can address issues, and usually does. I actually saw H picking on JM the other day and corrected him. I also made it clear that I knew what was going on and it needed to stop. He apologized and seemed to chill out for a day or two after that.

Folks, that isn't working.

My husband tells tonight me that JM went up to two adult friends of ours at soccer practice last night and tells them he is being made fun of for his skin color. Both A and R were horrified, and told my husband. Get ready for tears, R's son, J, gets indignant and says very proudly and forcefully, "Well! He's my friend, and I love him!"

So, obviously something isn't being handled in his class, and I need to make a phone call come Monday morning. Yahooo.......

But, I have JM standing in front of me right now, tonight. I sit him down and we have a lengthy chat. I also find out exactly what was said to him, and folks, it ain't pretty. It's the table talk H is hearing from his parents. No six year old could come up with what was said. So, got that down. Now we need to build up my sad kid who feels trapped at school.

We talk about how God made his skin beautiful, chocolatey and brown so much that I want to eat him up. I tell him how beautiful he is and that God does not make mistakes, his skin color is because the God of our universe made JM this way. As we watched the sun setting, I pointed to the blues and oranges in the sky, the greens in the trees, the colors in our flowers. I pointed out that God is making that right now right before our very eyes for our pleasure and joy. I told JM that God, with a big G, thinks he, JM, is pretty special....and H's opinion doesn't matter when you realize how big God is and how small H is.

Then we had to talk about racism. I have to explain to him what race is, and that there are lots of different kinds of races, none better than the other, although people seem to do that often. How this kind of thing will not be the first time something like this happens. That statement coming out of my mouth almost made me throw up. I am angrier than anything that I have to say this to my beautiful child and that this breaks his spirit just a bit. We go on and on about that quite a bit. I am not going to subject you to that--because it's bad enough that I have to explain this crap to a six year old in a progressive city not embedded in the south!

I think JM will be fine. I think the school needs to brace themselves for Monday morning. No I won't be mean and go on a tirade. Thank God, I am not in my twenties anymore. I will be persistent and firm. I am really good at that. Plus I have a friend in the principal because she is a candle addict. Anyway, pray for me for that conversation Monday morning. Pray for my son's little heart. Pray that these situations build him up and make him stronger and that he chooses to find the positive and not the negative when this garbage happens. Pray our family continues to be cohesive and strong as a unit.

Home Schooling

Okay, I am ready to make a decision, but just need to confirm with the hubbie.

Connections Academy. I have a link to it on the main page. What is it? It's a free, public/charter school education from home. In the basic sense, it is home schooling in that we will be doing school at home.

Let me tell you how I got to this decision. As you remember, I posted my feelings of being overwhelmed by all the curriculum and resources out there. As an American culture, we are blessed by such choices. I was cursed by them.

I learned a few things. Everyone I know who homeschools picks and chooses different curriculums.

You can pick one big "core" curriculum from many companies. I was seriously thinking about that until I saw the price. Whewie! What if I didn't like it? Yes there is a return policy, but.....okay, that didn't make me feel better at all.

I had a good talk with a friend who homeschools her three kids, and she is usually brutally honest with me. She agreed homeschool is a good idea for us, but she also said what I have been frightened of deep inside, "but you have your business." I just screamed inside, "Yes, I do, and it puts food on the table!" She then said, "You should try a canned curriculum." Yes, that is a huge core curriculum that gives you everything including lesson plans and even words to say. That sounds great to me until I get my feet under me.

So, I got my info packet from Connections Academy today. What is that? I enroll my kid in their "school". I get all the curriculum, supplies, schedules, and testing materials. JM would then follow that schedule and check in weekly with a public school teacher for instruction and "tutoring". We, as the parents, are referred to as "coaches". Yes, we guide, prod, help, encourage, support, but it's driven by the teacher.

What do I like about this? That personalized help from a teacher. It's not because I don't think I am capable, I don't think I have the time to do both a business and be the main teacher.

Is it Christian based? No, but kids coming out of Connections Academy are scoring far far better than classroom kids. Because it is only 3-4 hours of instruction a day, I can and will add the spiritual elements and instruction that we want. I can buy that curriculum! I like the focus on the basics of education and not trendy curriculum which seems to be what is in schools every few years. I like the addition of electives, specifically foreign languages for kindergartners! I like the electives of "home skills", which are cooking sewing, gardening. I like the field trips they plan and carry out. I like it! I think it will fit our needs. I like that I saw testimonials of families with two working parents who could do this and still get 8 hours of sleep a night. I am liking it, can you tell?

PLUS--it is in the state of Oregon! It is not in all 50 states, in fact, it is only a handful of states, and then only in certain districts. It is available to all kids in my state, no district boundaries! My kid will have an education from a tiny school district on the coast, which is the administration behind Connections in my state. My husband did some looking into that, and that almost didn't happen. The current laws state that kids must be in the boundary of the charter school they attend. When Connections Academy started in Oregon, kids could be from anywhere. Well, if another charter school comes along like Connections, the kids need to be in that school district's boundary. Click here for a nice article from a liberal publication on this. Good news for us! Plus, if I look at the other state's that Connections is in, they are "available to students in XYZ School District." Oregon was one of the few available to all kids in the state. Nice huh?

In my state, after the first year Connections started, they had to turn down kids because of the demand. When I heard that today, I almost cried. I worked so hard to boil this down!! I called them and asked...yes, it was a problem in the beginning, but it has been remedied and they are not turning anyone down now.

With traditional homeschooling there is testing, which is necessary. We need to know our kids are where they need to be. Because this is a "public school" education, the testing is built right in. What if my kid excels and needs to be challenged? What if my kid is deficient in some area? Those are all evaluated at test time, and a personal education plan is put in place to add some more challenges or focus on specifics. I also think that in the future if we adopt a child from the foster care system, this could be really great for them.

I also talked with a friend who homeschools in California, and there are several different ways a person could choose to homeschool. But, what I found interesting is that most do a charter school relationship with a family similar to this, but not sponsored by a public school. But support and resources come from a school as well as testing. I like the model. I think having support is the key for us.

Anyway, can you tell I feel better? Can you tell I think I have found what would be a good match. I will let you know what I find out as I start making appointments with them. At this point, I need to participate in an online informational session. I am looking forward to that and just need to find an evening to sign up for.

I also need to organize my house! T and I have been in contact today and I gave her some idea of what I want to do. I want to clean out our basement and move my office from a bedroom to the basement. Use that former office for a spare room/homeschool room. This is an old house, just smile and nod when I describe this. The only phone connection is in the current office, hence, the reason we have the computer, printer, my business office, etc. in it. So, for Connections Academy, which does a lot of online communication, it would be ideal to putting a computer, shelves and desk for the kids in for school. But we also need to run a phone connection to the basement so that I can still run the business. I also think that would get my candle business out of my face a bit by putting it in the basement. I can physically step away from it instead of just turning a corner. Lots to think about, and T was trembling when I told her my goal. We have a year!!

**UPDATE** Connections Academy is coming to Washington state. So my friends there don't need to be upset too much. Click here for the latest on that.

Renewable Resources

**UPDATE** Go check the link under "Blogs I Watch Regularly" marked 'My friend's blog--she's really smart'. She did a great discussion on how Christian's should respond to global warming. Should we cherish the earth because it's God creation (Romans chapter one)? Or should we "subdue" it and use it up (Genesis) ? Great discussion.

If you look at the comments for "It's not easy being green" you can see it stirred up some great suggestions and things friends are already doing to be green.

There was a request for information on how to receive the amazing amount of rebates a household can receive by installing solar panels, both for heat and water. I have sat and done some homework and retraced all my googling on this issue. I am not going to add this onto my main homepage because I really do want to give that space to family/friends issues and adoption.

But here is what I found for Oregon:

www.energytrust.org Specifically, if you click here you'll see how they add up and make sense of all the rebates from local municipalities plus federal. What the setup is, you can get those rebates if you have a system installed by one of their contractors. As I clicked around the contractors, I realized there are specialty fields. Some only do panels for water systems, for businesses, for only residential heating, etc. I did find one in my city that does both water and heat, and comes highly recommended.

www.oregonsolarrebate.com That is the company I heard all the radio commercials for in southern Oregon. It is one of those approved contractors, and their website really keeps up on the new rebates. From my reading, all of these contractors are quite willing and friendly in helping you get those rebates because they get paid directly from those government agencies.

http://www.oregon.gov/ENERGY/RENEW/Solar/ Here is the state of Oregon's official page on what they think of the issue. They also give a great grid map of what areas in Oregon have the best sunlight. From what I have read, no matter where you live, the solar panels these days are highly efficient and can squeeze some sort of light out of a cloudy day. Click around here for a bit.

There are also some great links on that page for other states near us. Washington, California, and Florida readers, you have some links there for you.

I also want to note, please look at some of the pictures, especially the contractors, of what they show a system to look like. They are not the huge panels that caved in roofs when we were kids in the 70's and 80's. The basic setup is to place a bank of smaller panels on a south facing roof. I don't have a south facing roof on my house, but I do on my detached garage. And it wouldn't be very visible from the street. That is where I would start asking questions with a contractor. Plus, they have setups that can work around such issues to be efficient yet not make your home suddenly look like NASA lives there.

One thing I am doing right away--putting solar power on my chicken coop! It is easier than electricity! To keep a light on in the coop during the winter to keep the ladies warm, I have to run an extension cord through a window from my garage. Makes my coop look like it's from Sanford and Son. So, there is a great product out there called "Light Your Shed". You can pick it up at a hardware store. It's an itsy bitsy solar panel half the size of a piece of paper for installing on the tops of sheds, and probably chicken coops too. Have an unlit shed or out building of some kind that you could use just a little light but don't want to spend the money to wire it up? Try that! I am going to do that here in the next few weeks. My chickens are going green!

So my summary as I read all of this--I want solar power for my home. My husband does agree with me when I say that--he's just distracted with his dissertation right now. If I walk up to him right now and say "Let's do solar panels" his head might shrink up and die. He's not up for new ideas right this second. But, I think it's a great technology that doesn't rake more resources from our planet. It is also affordable. Without having a contractor give me a bid yet, my calculations tell me I can put a heat and water system on my home for around $5,000 after all the rebates the contractor does for me. I know, that is $5,000 that I don't have right now. But I am keeping a close eye on this--I have the feeling the rebates are going to get nicer and juicier in the next few years to the point where we can do it. Plus, $5,000 is a lot cheaper than the full price of $20,000+. I am excited to think this could be feasible for a lot of homes in the near future.

Plus it will pay for itself in a few years! No more electric or gas bills! In addition, on months my panels gather more energy than my usage, that extra power goes back into the power grid and heats your home. I really can't wait to be green! I am so jealous of my chickens.

I made it home!

I have been in Southern Oregon for some more candle parties. I just love what I do. I got to see Tracy last night and meet her new kitten, Joey. Joey, Phoebe and Monica will be fine. There has been some posturing in the cat household, but I think it will be fun. I am excited to watch their blog now.

We had a snafu with some childcare issues, and I needed to be home to take JM to school this morning. Hence, I drove five hours in the middle of the night. I can do it, and I have done it in the past, but certainly won't be signing up for long haul trucking. It's not my gift.

BH was with me on the trip and he slept nicely in the back seat while I sang to the radio at the top of my lungs to stay alert. Seriously, no one could hear me.

We got home ML, my husband, greeted me at the door and took BH. I just bee lined it to bed, it was 3:30 am. BH sleeps in a portacrib in our room, and was fairly awake by now, and we were nodding off to sleep, but kept getting awakened by his talking to us. Just so you know, BH uses a "plug" (pacifier) at night while sleeping. It's a habit we're working on breaking, but at this point, we just want to sleep! This conversation happened at almost four this morning in the dark bedroom.

"Momma. Momma! MOMMA!"
"Hmmmm...yes."

"Gobbly gobbly gobbly." (he tries to talk with his plug in his mouth)
"Sweetie, take your plug out of your mouth, I can't understand you."

"Garble garble...how...garble garble...you...garble...know?"
"I can hear you. You have it in your mouth. Lay down and go to sleep."

"There! It's out! (clearly speaking now)"

Then he says nothing because he can't remember what he was yelling at me for. But this kind of conversation happened every ten minutes, just as I would go off into dreamland where I am thinking about making dinner and butterflies suddenly fly into the kitchen, and there are no windows anymore.....a high school friend you haven't seen in years knocks at the door....you know that dream state where reality starts mixing with dreams....then suddenly....

"MOMMA!"
"Yes!"

Then again ten minutes later.......and then you wonder why this isn't classified under torture methods....

It's not easy being green.

I want to be green, and I mean that in the politically correct sense. I want to be more environmentally friendly in my sphere of influence, mainly my home.

I have to clarify, I am not a flaming environmentalist. I say that because in my part of the country eco-terrorists are common. Those people who are willing to sacrifice property and people to save a tree. I don't camp in that neck of the woods, and smack me silly if I do.

I am incredibly intrigued by solar power. I have read several articles lately explaining how solar power is very feasible and affordable to install in my overcast part of the country. I pass by a house every day on the way to JM's school that has solar panels. I am just so intrigued. I did some surfing tonight and found out that we could get them installed on our house for a song. We will probably do it in the future. Both my husband and I think it's a good environmental, financial, and prudent thing to do.

I am also incredibly intrigued by biodiesel. The more I hear about hybrids, I am not so intrigued. They still consume gasoline, and there are non-hybrids out there that get better gas mileage than hybrids. I think they are on the way to becoming something, and I am willing to wait a few years to watch the technology improve. But--they still consume gasoline.

I like biodiesel. I like thinking about using grease recycled from Burger King fueling my car. I like thinking that grease is an incredibly renewable resource, unlike carbon fuels. I like that I live in a city where almost the entire fleet of city buses uses biodiesel....nice huh?

To obtain a biodiesel vehicle, you must take a diesel engine car and convert it to biodiesel. It's not too hard of a conversion to have done. It's hard to find a passenger vehicle that is a diesel. You are pretty much stuck with an 80-90's model Volvo. You have better luck getting a full sized diesel pickup, but car seats are hard to install on those, and the leg room is tough on the kids.

The solar panels on our home will probably happen before the biodiesel car. But on the cars, I am hopeful of the coming technology. Just because hybrids still consume carbon fuels, I prefer to focus on the biodiesels.

Other little things I do to be green. I compost like crazy. What can be composted? Anything that isn't greasy from our kitchen. So any leftover foods that aren't butter laden, vegetable scraps, garden debris, rotten food found in the back of the fridge (if anything, the composting has started on those things), etc. Things I compost, my chicken's waste (nice fertilizer for the garden when that has been in our compost pile for awhile!), stale or moldy bread, rotten eggs, dead plants, leaves, hay from the chickens, dog waste, dead pumpkins after Halloween, grass clippings, etc.

Things I don't compost: Aggressive weeds or plants. They just become aggressive in your compost pile and ruin it. I recommend pulling those plants and laying them out on your cement driveway to completely kill them in the beating sun, then send in your yard debris pile for the garbage man to take.

Anything greasy. Butter, drained fat from meat, cheese, raw or cooked meat. Some resources tell you not to compost your pet's waste, but I do. They say that because some animals have worms and that can become a biohazard on a small scale. Well, I know my pets don't have worms, and I know what they eat. If you can say that about your pet, you should be fine.

In the past I have kept a worm composting bin in my basement. That was fun, but got a little tedious since we already had the compost bins outside. Plus, our chickens eat things as well like apple cores, bread heels, lettuce hearts, onion skins, potato skins, etc. So the worms almost starved. We put them in the compost pile and they are happy now.

I have eluded to our chickens (see some of my posts from July 2007 giving a fairly lengthy explanation of them). One cool thing is their manure. If you take fresh chicken manure and put it around your garden plants, your plants will die because the manure is so strong. Put it into a compost pile of some kind and let it "cook" there for awhile. It looks more like actual dirt then, but it is marvelous fertilizer. When I use that for fertilizer on my garden, I am not using synthetic fertilizers, which helps the whole organic gardening, and again, stays away from toxins that are harmful to the environment in the long run.

So that is what we do.

Jessica Liddell Art Scholarship Fund

As you can tell, I put a tribute to her on the homepage. I still can't believe she is gone.

Anyway, the news from the family has come. Jessica was an artist. She and another artist friend of hers, Eric, were attempting to open an art gallery in Stayton, OR. The goal was to showcase local artists, including herself. Now, if you have ever been to Stayton, OR, you would know that she was a woman ahead of her time. It is a small working-class town that doesn't have too many fancy things like art galleries. I don't know about you, but when I was 27, opening a business such as an art gallery was furthest from my mind. I was happy to have an apartment! I think she was a woman ahead of her age. My understanding is that Eric is keeping that dream alive to open the gallery, along with the support of family and friends.

You can donate to her scholarship fund to provide scholarships to art majors in her area. Two ways to do it, go to any Washington Mutual Bank and donate to the Jessica Liddell Fund.

Or, you can send it directly to her friends who have set up the fund. I have their personal information but don't know that they want it posted on the web. Go ahead and place a comment to me, or email me personally.

I will definitely be making a donation. Her legacy needs to live on in the future of our kids, and education is certainly a place to start.

And then we rested....

Okay, so the paint has been stored away, the Advil refilled, the scrapers and brushes cleaned. The back of our house looks like Ty Pennington came and kissed it goodnight. It looks great! I have to toot our horn. My husband and I worked our tail ends off on this project, and we almost thought it had us licked a few times. Remember, this is ONLY the back of the house...we must stay humble here, there are several other sides that still need ALL of this work to be done to it. Here it is from start to finish.


Nice spider! Check out the bubbling paint behind him. This picture was taken a few years ago. We need to give you the full extent of "before".

Here is JM when he was TWO! He is now six. Look really closely at the back of the house. Yes, peeling paint. Been going on for years, and the house was becoming an eyesore, and the risk of permanent damage to our house was very real.

Here is my husband's two year odyssey of scraping paint. He used a scraper, paint sander, and an ultraviolet heater. It was back breaking work, and he deserves free Advil for life for what it took to do that.

Here is my handy work after his two year journey. This is primer. We thought that looked so nice after looking at scraped wood for so long. This is the basement window. Look closely. Previous owners of our home have painted it, and took the easy way out and didn't tape the windows. So, we had to try to scrape paint off of glass. I do believe in doing a project right, just wait, you'll read more on that later. In the process of trying to scrape paint, we broke the glass. Okie dokie! I hired a friend to make me a new one, and it looks great! Wait until you see my "ta da" photo at the end. But again, I want you to languish through the whole process with me.
This doesn't look like much, but the whole back of the house got caulked. No leaks!

Here is the back of the house painted! Nice huh? Remember, I like to do projects like this right. What isn't painted? Yes, the basement window and the foundation. By now the foundation has paint drips forever on it, plus it's just plain cement. If we could only paint it and seal it at the same time....hmmmmm.....had to convince the husband that would be great to do.

Here is the NEW basement window from the inside. Blue tape? What is that you might ask. It's painters tape that costs a few dollars, and makes a project like this look a thousand times better. Better yet, I taped off the hinges! I live in an 80 year old house where every single hinge is painted. Why? Have you ever heard someone on HGTV say, "What a nice touch. Love to see it when homeowners take that extra step to paint the hinges and door handles." NO! Don't do it! Take the three minutes it takes to tape it. Then use artist's brushes to paint around it. You'll still leave a splotch, I guarantee it. Use a rag and wipe it off. Somebody smack me unconscious if you ever see me paint a hinge!

What is that AM? Well, that is an eighty year old hinge from my dining room that more than one previous homeowner over the years has painted. If I ever want to remove that hinge, it will take a very sharp knife and some unkind words. What really stinks, once the first person does it, the rest of us homeowners have to do it. I did end up painting an exterior light fixture because I couldn't leave it blue! It's either paint it or get a new one....and we're already into this project too many dollars as it is. The fixture works, and it's now mocha in color.

Okay, are you holding your breath? I am not kidding, the final results are more than I expected and I am so pleased. What is really sick. I am trying to think of how to squeeze in some more stripping, caulking, priming, painting, taping, edging on another side of the house before it gets too rainy. Fat chance! Next summer.

Ta da! The window that looks pristine and we can actually get light through now. My poor plants. Those plants are currant bushes, not looking too bushy right now.
















The handsome house. We love it. I love the foundation, I love the new window. I love thinking about the rest of our house looking so good.

Two year olds part IV

"Go Momma!
Go Momma!
It's your birthday!
It's your birthday!"

It is by the way, and I am at the age where it takes a lot to make it happy. Being cheered at by a two year old helps.

Decisions Decisions!

We, my husband and I, are at a loss as to what to do.

Here is the deal--our son, JM, attends a private, Christian school right now. He has attended it since preschool. That school ends their classes at first grade. We have another school in mind he could go to next year for second grade through eighth.

However, BH, will also be going to preschool as well. It's becoming expensive. It's becoming prohibitively expensive.

Here are the options:

1) Public school. We are in agreement. No. We are not at all slamming the huge efforts public school teachers make. The school district we live in is horrible from purely an academic standpoint. Schools not achieving federal standards for basic achievement. Simple as that.

Could we transfer to the district that is literally across the street from us? In a perfect world, yes. But the district we live does not let it's boundary captured kids go like that. They need the numbers for federal funding. I have a friend who teaches in that district and pulls some strings to get her kids in it, and acknowledges that we have no hope in pulling those strings. It's a better district, but also has trouble meeting basic standards.

2) Sell our house, never retire, and pay for private school. Well, ummm....love our kids. No. There are other options not as drastic as this one.

3) Home school. We finally were able to have quite a meaningful conversation about this last night.

Here are the basic bullets to our conversation:

*Nothing is decided yet, but it looks more and more like homeschool will be it.

*We live in a city that has an amazing homeschool community that we could tap into.

*We live in a state that is fairly homeschool friendly, and not overpowered by government regulations. Basic testing is easy, yet not too "Big Brother".

*I am a bit frightened by this.

Just tonight at dinner, JM, and I had a little argument that is typical for us. He asks a question, I begin to answer it, he interrupts me, I try to let him know he has interrupted me, and he gets mad. In this case, he began to cry. Yes, for us adults, we realize this is six year old behavior, but it's also the mix he and I have sometimes. We need this to stop. He needs to be able to listen to me, answer me, have a conversation with me (which we can do a lot of the time), without such a scene.

*I am also realizing I need to get really organized. I run a half a million dollar a year candle business from my home. I will need to really organize my time to do both. I think I can, but we need to do this as a family, not just me. Little daunted by this.

*We asked JM what he thought about this. He says he wants it. He is tired of being teased. He is sensitive, and he has endured some teasing at school for the last few years. It isn't anything worse than what the next kid endures, but it's teasing nonetheless. It's also sometimes teasing that is focused on his race, and that makes me mad.

We have worked on how to use verbal skills to answer back to these things, but we can tell, it's wearing on him. It makes him feel bad, and I am wondering if it's beginning to affect his desire to learn. Bottom line--does he sometimes not want to go to school and learn because of the teasing. We all know kids who have suffered academically in such instances. Yes, this is a Christian school....could you imagine if it were a public school?

*A friend of mine who homeschools says one of her reasons for homeschooling is because kids come home exhausted, hard to be around for the remainder of the day, and yet bored from a lot of wasted time during the day. Again, we love the school JM is at for the most part, but he has been coming home for two weeks now exhausted, and not the most fun kid to be around for the evening. The crying tonight at dinner was fueled by tiredness. We are having more crying fits like that lately that we didn't have before school started.

*Socialization. I know I know....that is always the big concern. Well, right now my kid is being socialized in how to tease, have a love/hate relationship with his friends, and that the color of his skin is bad. Not sure that is what we wanted when we had kids. There is absolutely no proof that kids who are homeschooled are socially stunted in anyway. For myself, I am seeing that if I keep my kid in a classroom setting, he will be emotionally stunted.

So what do we do now? Well, I did a little googling today just looking for homeschool curriculum. One response to that--AAAAGGGHHHHH! Oh my word! I am new at this folks! I am just putting my toe in the water here! As immature as this sounds--give me the basic curriculum of a basic homeschool program for a second grader. I am ready to cry. You have no idea how overwhelming that is, and I am fried.

I am going to go do some finish painting on the back of the house. It's easier than deciding what homeschool curriculum to purchase. I am open to any and all suggestions. Lord, have mercy on me with this venture....

Paying tribute

As I reconnect with Natryn from my last post (see the comments), I am absolutely struck. There is an amazing connection with how I met her, subsequently met Jessica, and then met all of her friends and family. Especially the connection with adoption. Natryn, thanks for showing me your blog. What a testimony to Jessica's life!

Here is something I copied from her blog. Jessica's brother's words from his myspace page:

So I'm writing this because I'm starting to get alot of people asking what's going on, and it's really starting to sink in and it's getting tough to express what's up on an individual basis.

I'll start with a little backround, On St. Patricks Day of 2006 my family grew overnite! A young women named Jessica emailed me to ask if I was her brother. I had been adopted at birth in oregon and as it turned out Jessica is my sister, and I had another sister Michelle and another mom, and a whole ton of other wonderful relatives up in Oregon. As I began to learn about my new family I learned some amazing things about everyone, and one in particular stands out.

When Jessica was in her teens our mom Cheri told her that she had an older brother (me) and that I was adopted at birth. Jessica took this knowledge and did an amazing thing, she began to look for me, and when she had known I was 18 she really began to search. Well long story short, after 10 yrears of searching she found me, right here on myspace, from a blog I wrote some time ago about helping a friend find thier (sic) birth mother. Just this alone has overwhelmend me, and then to finally meet my family was one of the most amazing experiences of my life! You always hear stories about rejection and sadness when birth families are reunited, but not here, I was taken in and embraced by one of the most loving and wonderful families I have ever met! and to think the work of my sister Jessica made this all possible.

Well Sunday afternoon Jessica drowned while doing something she really enjoys, Tubing down a local river in Oregon. I'm at a loss for words 18 months after being reunited with such a loving family I've lost the one who made it all possible. Jessica in the brief time that I've known her has been one of the most wonderful women I've known, Smart, artistic, loving and amazing in so many ways. Just being able to keep up with her and her life through myspace has been such a blessing, but I still feel a void that has been filled has been suddenly emptied. I'm lucky to have known her for the time that I have, but I was so looking forward to getting to know her even more over the years, And I'm not going to have that opportunity. Jessica in such a short time has given me so much! I've gained a new family because of her love and perserverance something I will never lose, but Sunday I lost a sister.

Soccer Game! Sadness.

Today was JM's first soccer game and here he is with his game face on. I just looked at this picture and about fell over. He looks like such an adult! He also took the picture quite maturely. Generally, when I ask him to smile I get the huge, cheesy smile that looks ridiculous, yet captures the essence of being a six year old boy.

Not today. He put on his game, scored a few goals, blocked a few attempts, and had a great time.

From what I hear. I couldn't go. Lovely business meeting tonight. I am still grieving Jessica, and not myself. Maybe it's better that I didn't go. But instead....

I also had the most unfortunate position tonight of telling a friend about Jessica's death. She had no idea. Life sucks folks. I never ever ever again want to be in the position of having to tell someone one of their dearest friends has died. Ever. It was horrifying. AP, if you read this, I am so sorry to be the one to tell you. I am glad you heard it from me and not some other way that would have really hurt you. But I am so sorry!

My heart bleeds for you tonight. You will always remember tonight, you will always remember this day as the day you heard this horrible news. You will remember me as the one who told you. I am praying for your grief and hurt tonight. I pray God's presence, His healing and grace for you. I cry tears for you tonight, just like the person who told me a few days ago cried tears for me as I was hit with the news.

So I post a grand picture of my son about to play his first soccer game of the season. Redemption. I need to look at youthful people, and have joy and hope in them.

It is comforting to have the familiarity of the soccer season, and his youthful game face. I need those things right now. I need comfort right now. I need hope.

One of the best places to look--at our children.

I know that is so not Christian-like. I know my hope is in the Lord, and He will guide me. I know that. I need flesh right now--something to hug. I thank God for my kids, and that God's plans for them are for the future.

It's hope.

In Memory Of...

I got an email tonight from a very kind acquaintance letting me know about the death of a friend.

Her name was Jessica, and she was 27 years old and she died tragically last weekend in a river inner tubing accident. She had a great career ahead of her, some great dreams and a great husband. Her obituary is listed here.

Click here for the details. I also know the two women, Jaime and Tera, she was swimming with. I am sure they are traumatized by the events of that day, and my heart goes out to them.

Please take a few minutes and pray for them. The memorial service is tomorrow (9/8/07) morning. I just found out about it, and can't make it. I do pray it is a tribute to her life, and a celebration of what a cool woman she was. I also pray she knew the Lord and is enjoying the presence of Him right now.

Guess who just moved in?

In memory of a life gone. She didn't want to be exploited anymore.

Do you remember that weirdo in California that made national news because he had a blog saying he really liked little girls? He also was caught taking pictures of them at a place where there were little girls? He got kicked out of the state of California? Remember? Click here for a reminder.

Well, he went on an AM station yesterday in our area--and discovered that our state won't kick him out. He is moving in and hoping Oregonians will be most welcome to him. Please just understand, he is just a guy who is attracted to little girls--is his message. Click here to read the highlights from that mess. I am ticked at the radio guys who even let him have a voice. One of the guys said it the best, "As a father of a little girl, you cannot imagine what I am thinking right now."

I know he hasn't done anything wrong except publicize his desire for little girls. Don't let me near him because I'd cure him of it, real quick.

Here is what stinks about Oregon. We have loosey goosey sex trade laws. They are very hard to enforce, and when attempted to be enforced, some idiot cries freedom of speech.

Not sure what that looks like? I just think the irony of the timing of this is amazing. We have a sex offender making the news announcing he is setting up household here and yet, just ten days ago, an 18 year old girl was murdered in Portland because she was trying to leave the sex trade business. Her pimp employer didn't like that so he killed her, and now we have him in jail on suicide watch. I say let's take him off of suicide watch.

I really encourage you to click here to see that article. It tells of the frustration the police have with this whole issue. Oregon is on the precipice of becoming the porn capital of the USA. Why? Because of our loosey goosey sex trade laws. It is easy for a pornographer to create and publish porn here. In other states, that same person would be very limited.

I have felt this ever since I moved here. There are sex shops everywhere here. The state I moved from, that same sex shop would have to be several hundred yards away from malls, schools, crosswalks, neighborhoods, etc. Not here! Instead, in the name of free speech, they are in the same strip mall as a shoe store!

So the next time legislation comes to our state' ballot to limit the rights of these guys and gals to do business--please think carefully. It's not as easy as "freedom of speech". I think we can all agree, pornographers and sex trade sickos have enough freedom. At the very least, the internet has afforded them that. It becomes freedom of being able walk down the street without your kids seeing a neon sign, it becomes freedom of being able to walk through a parking lot without seeing disgusting trash on the ground from the sex shop next door, it becomes freedom to change professions for an 18 year old who wanted something different. It becomes her freedom of choice as well. It becomes my freedom to take my child to school and not pass twelve (yes, twelve) sex shops.

I have always loved Oregon's laid back "live and let live" mentality. Voters get really nasty when "freedom of....." is mentioned during ballot issues. But in the last ten days, I think we are seeing a foreshadowing of things to come. More sex sickos (soon to be offenders) moving in and calling all the news outlets. More young gals losing their innocence and, tragically in the case of Emily Egan, their lives.

Please please, don't let this be the foreshadowing of the future if you live in Oregon. Let these events be the end of it because we won't let it go any further.

Back to School

We had Back to School Open House last night. Here are some highlights....

What do six year old best friends do when they haven't seen each other all summer? Dog pile. Yes, you also see the behind of our two year old in there too. No fear.

This morning was the first day of school. Of course, there is the first hanging of the backpack....
The first "Good Morning!"
And the first activity.

Now, I have no idea what to do with myself! I have a two year who is quite proficient in playing by himself, and doesn't need me to play with him like his older brother did at this age. I have a messy house that is calling me. I also have to plan lunches now! So maybe I should bake something for snacks. I am not in my normal schedule right now, and it's strange to say the least.

Of course, our little private Christian school, is always needing fundraisers. The big one this last year has been the Box Tops for Education. If you see one of these labels on one of the products on your shelves, feel free to cut it out for us! Just leave a comment and I'll email you personally so we can connect.

Six Year Olds

You think it's humorous with two year olds? Here is one I just had with the six year old.

"Mom, I have a great sense of memory."

"Really? Then why do you ask me ten times a day what we are doing that day?"

"Oh! That is because I don't listen well."

Candle Mom Concert Series

Goggles your toddler wears while playing his Wiggles guitar: $5.00
The two hats your six year old wears while playing his drums and beach ball: $15.00
Listening to the next brother band practice: Priceless

Labor

All different kinds of labor has happened this Labor Day Weekend.

The school year has begun for my hubbie, M. This is what you get when you go to a small college. Students get to spend some fun time with their professors doing fun things. Every fall at this particular college, the professors do something fun with an assigned group of incoming freshmen students. I have to be careful here, suffice it to say, my blog is posted on the college's website. I'll say this--it frightens me that these freshmen were not born when I was a freshman in college.

So, M and I took the our kids and the students up to another professor's, Dr. T, home up in the toolies of southwest Washington. Beautiful country! The draw was a yummy (non dorm) meal and to ride his heavy machinery. I call them tractors, but I have been corrected to call them cats.

Here is BH on a cat.
Here is my hubbie and JM on a cat, and JM hates loud noises. He also hated all the bugs flying around the "sticky thingies" that poked him walking to the cat--in other words the long blades of grass that touched his legs crossing the field. Yep, he's a city boy.
BH could do this all night.

Then all the students had a chance. Pretty soon, Dr. T is instructing things like "Take down there and lower the blade. Sure! Take out the tree!" Ummmmm.....I am now teasing Dr. T. (keep in mind, he graded my papers 15 years ago) "I don't think these are fun tractor rides anymore. I think this is free labor!" He neither confirmed or denied my statement.

Off we go home, and I am rearing to go to finish the painting on the back of our house. On Saturday, visually, not much got done. Practically speaking, every crack and crevass got a squirt of silicone caulking. My first time using a caulking gun--until this whole house is done, won't be my last either. Here are some of the highlights from that.

Doesn't look like much is done right? That is what I dislike about prep work, you labor hard for no visible results.
Okay, do you see some results here? I got the gutter painted and also under the eve.
When you buy a box of rags from the paint store, you generally get a bunch of factory rejected t-shirts. I got this kinda cute one, and I felt bad. That is embroidery on it!
Now we're talking. This is the major painting I got done today. The main color is Mocha, with an off white for the trim, which you can't see except for the gutter. I am waiting for M to come home with blue painters tape so I can tape off the windows.

Okay, so what is the plan now? I am going to eat some dinner my husband just brought home and see how much sunlight we have left for today. I'd like to finish that one patch. After that, seriously, three Advil Liqui Gels, a glass of wine, and a pack of ice on my lower lumbar. I am in so much pain right now. I knelt down to my knees for communion in church this morning, and almost didn't get up. My back feels like it can't hold me up.