Click here for the full story.
Here it is in summary. Young boy, taken from his horrible situation at the age of four months and placed in foster care in my state. His birth mother has lost her parental rights--they are terminated. His birth father is sentenced to prison for drug charges, and he is a convicted, not alleged, but convicted sex offender. He is also an illegal alien in America.
This little boy, Gabriel, is now two and knows no other family. His foster parents have been pursuing adoption and were on the verge of finalizing it.
Aside--in this state, in the foster/adopt system. Your application to adopt a child is put to a committee, who then decides if you get to adopt this child. By the time your application is at a committee, you have had the child in your home and you have a relationship with them. You have also been put through the adoption application which includes: federal fingerprinting/background check, sex offender and criminal background check, financial check, several personal references have been checked, your employer has been contacted to see if you are a good employee, and you have had a thorough physical. If you fail any of these, you will be turned down. I have a friend who's husband, back in like the early 80's urinated in public and a young girl saw him. It is considered a sexual crime and he cannot adopt a child because he is a sex offender. It's a pretty serious application process in the state I live in, and it should be! Gabriel's foster family are stellar people. He is a state patrolman, and they have several adopted kids on a huge piece of property.
Okay, back to the story....
Family is going to committee! Let's adopt this kid! OOoops! The state just realized sex offender birth father is being paroled soon. The state decided to send Gabriel to Mexico released to his paternal grandmother's care. Guess where sex offender father has indicated he will go once he is paroled and deported (get him out of here!)? Mom's house in Mexico. Gabriel is going to Mexico with complete strangers, in a country he has never known, with a man he doesn't know, to a woman he doesn't know, to be with sex offender dad. Oh my gawd!
The state committee indicated that they give preference to blood relatives. Really? What about the birth mom's family? What about sending this kid out of the jurisdiction of the USA to be with a known sex offender? If this man were a US citizen, would we still send Gabriel to grandma's house? No. This little boy was born in Oregon, he is a US citizen. His rights?? This is preposterous, and absolutely gives adoption a bad name.
So the state of Oregon has paid a bunch of money to house this loser in our prison system for at least two years. My tax dollars have also paid for the foster care Gabriel has received. My tax dollars have paid for the huge adoption costs to get this boy to committee for this family. Nope, send him to Mexico.
When I talk to people who, in recent years, have had a bad experience with adoption. It's a state adoption like this. It's a situation where there is huge preference given to blood relatives, forget that the relatives don't have a roof over their head, but send the kid there anyway. It makes my blood boil.
Why? Remember the hoops that we, adoptive parents, have to jump through, yet, if a little of my DNA matched the kid's, all those serious hoops go away. It is aggravating.
This family did something so cool. They went to the press. They yelled at the top of their lungs, "Look here! We need somebody to start making noise!" I give them huge credit for screaming loud.
Why? Because this has made national news, and the child protection services in Oregon can't handle the phone calls at this point. Keep doing it! I also emailed the Center for Missing and Exploited Children and John Walsh. No luck there, but I was hoping one of his no-nonsense sound bites might help.
At this point, a new committee of completely different members are being assembled to reconsider the decision, based upon this family's request for an immediate appeal. Please pray that wiser heads prevail here.
I have always said, if you plan to adopt, be prepared to defend your family. Not all adoption workers are on your side. You need to really know who to trust.
I called our state's adoption line recently to find out what we would need to do to get that process going again. We had an incredibly horrible experience with them back in 2000, which is why we switched to a private adoption. That is a future post. Suffice it to say, I have grown a spine since then on this issue. When I called recently, I relayed my previous story to them and finished with, "Let me make it clear. If I am treated like that ever again by your agency, I won't roll over again. I will get mad. I will get loud. And I will go up the ladder." Amazingly, the person on the other end of the phone was horrified by what happened, and said she would personally investigate the person involved.
You have to be prepared to do that, folks. Just as if you had given birth and some nurse in the hospital was trying to jerk you around. Your momma bear instinct kicks in, and you get a bit ferocious. I will never apologize for anything I say that defends children. If a rational adult doesn't speak for them, who will? I certainly don't want Gabriel's whacked out adoption committee thinking they have the final word.
Oct 5, 2007
First of Many
'Tis the season for us. We do several things during the fall that are so fun. We go to the pumpkin patch and we go to the apple orchards.
A few days ago we went to a pumpkin patch right smack in the middle of the city. We love it. It gives you the whole experience without having to drive a long way. One thing though, we had a thunder and lightening storm right as we arrived. Thunder and lightening are rare in Oregon. We waited it out, so the kids ran through the fields and got their feet and lower extremities soaked.
The big rule, if you pick out a pumpkin, you need to be able to haul it to the cash register to pay for it. That was a tall order for a few of the kids.
JM also had a class field trip yesterday to the zoo. So I have a few shots of that. Enjoy!
Here we are waiting for the rain to subside. Can you see it pounding off the cars?
And then there was the zoo...
No, the zoo did not have caged slugs. But Oregon has slugs, no doubt. This one was in our path and about 3-4 inches long. Yucky!
A few days ago we went to a pumpkin patch right smack in the middle of the city. We love it. It gives you the whole experience without having to drive a long way. One thing though, we had a thunder and lightening storm right as we arrived. Thunder and lightening are rare in Oregon. We waited it out, so the kids ran through the fields and got their feet and lower extremities soaked.
The big rule, if you pick out a pumpkin, you need to be able to haul it to the cash register to pay for it. That was a tall order for a few of the kids.
JM also had a class field trip yesterday to the zoo. So I have a few shots of that. Enjoy!
Here we are waiting for the rain to subside. Can you see it pounding off the cars?
And then there was the zoo...
No, the zoo did not have caged slugs. But Oregon has slugs, no doubt. This one was in our path and about 3-4 inches long. Yucky!
Oct 3, 2007
Two year olds part V
Okay, I have started a new label for just my two year old. I'll also start one for the six year old the next time it warrants.
We need some comic relief around here! Before watching this video. Please note, this is for pure entertainment purposes only. It is only acceptable coming from the mouth of a two year old because his pronounciation makes the humor that much better. This clip may not sit well with those of us who have not lived a little, maybe not sat at a bar, or maybe not been around truckers.
It may not sit well with those who are Bible college students. On the outside, you'll have to show your Christianly indignance. Inside you'll crack up. I give you permission to grin a little. Maybe even giggle in private at your computer
But for those of us who come from red neck heritage, this cracks us up. Are you intrigued?
We need some comic relief around here! Before watching this video. Please note, this is for pure entertainment purposes only. It is only acceptable coming from the mouth of a two year old because his pronounciation makes the humor that much better. This clip may not sit well with those of us who have not lived a little, maybe not sat at a bar, or maybe not been around truckers.
It may not sit well with those who are Bible college students. On the outside, you'll have to show your Christianly indignance. Inside you'll crack up. I give you permission to grin a little. Maybe even giggle in private at your computer
But for those of us who come from red neck heritage, this cracks us up. Are you intrigued?
Oct 2, 2007
Update regarding Keith
The news article has been updated for the accident that claimed Keith and Nolan's life. Click here for details. There is also a memorial going at the crash sight. Click here for details on that.
I just talked to another friend who attends the church Keith and his girlfriend attended. Again, please pray for Keith's girlfriend. She is angry and is having a hard time tearing herself away from the accident scene and has pieces of the car in her possession. Putting myself in her shoes, I can't say I wouldn't do the same. But if I were in her shoes, I know my family and friends would be surrounding me with prayer as well.
I just talked to another friend who attends the church Keith and his girlfriend attended. Again, please pray for Keith's girlfriend. She is angry and is having a hard time tearing herself away from the accident scene and has pieces of the car in her possession. Putting myself in her shoes, I can't say I wouldn't do the same. But if I were in her shoes, I know my family and friends would be surrounding me with prayer as well.
Oct 1, 2007
How I Know Keith
Let me tell you about Keith.
I went to visit an old friend, B, in southern Oregon back in March. She and I hadn't seen each other in years. The last time I saw her JM was a year old and she was pregnant with her third child. That child is five now. It was great to see her.
Her husband, T, is a contractor. He also has a soft spot in his heart for people who need a step up in the world. When I visited last March, Keith was working for T. From what I heard from B, Keith is young. Early 20's. No father in his life, and mother who can't stop the nasty criticism. She specializes in finding ways to insult Keith.
Well, Keith has lived on his own since his early teens. He has also struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol for most of his life. T hired him in hopes of giving Keith that step up. I think Keith looked at T as that father he never had. T has that gentle man's spirit about him. He's pretty funny, mostly quiet, and has known the Lord most of his life, so he has wisdom. Keith never had that. His relationship with God has been new, and already tested by the addiction. T and B invested their hearts and souls, home and family into Keith.
When I met Keith, he offered to detail my minivan for $50.00. I saw what he had done to T and B's car, and said absolutely. He took four hours to pull all the seats out, shampoo the carpets, Armor All all the surfaces, fished out about 100 crusty french fries, then started on the exterior. When I walked outside about half way through the project, it looked like Sanford and Son on the driveway. Every nook and cranny of my van got a working over, and I felt like I had a new car.
Best $50.00 I have spent in a long time.
The next time I saw Keith was in August. He had a few hard knocks with T. He almost lost his job because that addiction was creeping in and he was making bad decisions. Many people were questioning T why he was giving Keith another chance. I got to see Keith and chat with him about the weather in August. I also got to meet Nolan, a friend of Keith's and another employee of T's. Another hard knock case, plus he has a six year old son that he is trying to keep up the child support payments on.
I saw Keith about 10 days or so ago. I was in southern Oregon again for some candle parties. This time I had our small sedan. He offered to detail it, and buff the snickers out of it. I was shocked to see how much he was able to buff out the key marks someone at a grocery store had left for me. He detailed the car while I watched kids in the front yard. If you look at the pictures below, BH on the hippity hop--that is where we were, with Keith behind us.
That was a hectic afternoon. We almost locked the keys to the car in the trunk. I got to meet Keith's girlfriend, who helped with the Armor All. Then I had to rush off to a candle party. I arrived at Tracy's house. Tracy was impressed by the car, and said she might be calling B so she can have some work done. My hubbie asked me "Who's car is that in the driveway?" Joking about how great of a job Keith did.
I got to talk to B a bit about Keith a little bit on that visit only ten days ago. Keith was really trying hard to make it good with his girlfriend. He wanted to marry her someday. She comes from an almost rougher background that he does. But two broken souls, trying to love God, and make their way in the world together, keep their addictions at bay, and not let the past ruin their futures. It's the stuff of Hollywood. They were incredibly cute together.
God has other plans. I got an email from B this afternoon. Keith, Nolan and another friend were killed in a car accident early this morning. Click here for the news regarding that.
B and I talked/cried on the phone. She has her kids at home with her today, and she has to keep a happy face. I am off to a meeting I am conducting, and can't have makeup running down my face. So much to talk about and agree on--thank the Lord above that Keith had his relationship with God in place. B seemed to be wondering if he was high when it happened. Her pastor brought up a good point--it doesn't matter. How many of us are in "sin" while driving a car, whether it is drugs, swearing at the car next to us, speeding, etc. We also are concerned for Keith's girlfriend. Please please pray for her. She is so fragile right now. Such a baby Christian, with so little support from family. Pray the newfound church family she has found will be what she needs. She is so young! Keith was so young! Nolan was so young! Nolan has a young child. T no longer has a workforce for his business. So much loss in one moment.
We also agreed, he is free. No more pounding his head against the wall of his addiction. B and I agreed, of all the people we have known in our lifetimes--Keith worked harder than anyone we know to beat it, and worked at it minute by minute. Now, he is enjoying the golden streets of heaven, addiction free, ready to do the work the Lord has set for him not on this earth. For that, I am happy beyond belief for Keith.
I came home tonight looking at the interior of my car. Knowing Keith's hands have touched almost every surface with care and precision. Knowing he has buffed the exterior watching every angle to make sure it was smooth as silk. It felt like he was all around me.
I would give in a second to take the place of these young people that I have lost in the last month. Jessica who had so many gifts about to be given to this world. Keith about to take the next steps in adulthood. They have so much to offer! So much ahead of them.
I can't take many more emails like the ones I have gotten in recent weeks.
I went to visit an old friend, B, in southern Oregon back in March. She and I hadn't seen each other in years. The last time I saw her JM was a year old and she was pregnant with her third child. That child is five now. It was great to see her.
Her husband, T, is a contractor. He also has a soft spot in his heart for people who need a step up in the world. When I visited last March, Keith was working for T. From what I heard from B, Keith is young. Early 20's. No father in his life, and mother who can't stop the nasty criticism. She specializes in finding ways to insult Keith.
Well, Keith has lived on his own since his early teens. He has also struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol for most of his life. T hired him in hopes of giving Keith that step up. I think Keith looked at T as that father he never had. T has that gentle man's spirit about him. He's pretty funny, mostly quiet, and has known the Lord most of his life, so he has wisdom. Keith never had that. His relationship with God has been new, and already tested by the addiction. T and B invested their hearts and souls, home and family into Keith.
When I met Keith, he offered to detail my minivan for $50.00. I saw what he had done to T and B's car, and said absolutely. He took four hours to pull all the seats out, shampoo the carpets, Armor All all the surfaces, fished out about 100 crusty french fries, then started on the exterior. When I walked outside about half way through the project, it looked like Sanford and Son on the driveway. Every nook and cranny of my van got a working over, and I felt like I had a new car.
Best $50.00 I have spent in a long time.
The next time I saw Keith was in August. He had a few hard knocks with T. He almost lost his job because that addiction was creeping in and he was making bad decisions. Many people were questioning T why he was giving Keith another chance. I got to see Keith and chat with him about the weather in August. I also got to meet Nolan, a friend of Keith's and another employee of T's. Another hard knock case, plus he has a six year old son that he is trying to keep up the child support payments on.
I saw Keith about 10 days or so ago. I was in southern Oregon again for some candle parties. This time I had our small sedan. He offered to detail it, and buff the snickers out of it. I was shocked to see how much he was able to buff out the key marks someone at a grocery store had left for me. He detailed the car while I watched kids in the front yard. If you look at the pictures below, BH on the hippity hop--that is where we were, with Keith behind us.
That was a hectic afternoon. We almost locked the keys to the car in the trunk. I got to meet Keith's girlfriend, who helped with the Armor All. Then I had to rush off to a candle party. I arrived at Tracy's house. Tracy was impressed by the car, and said she might be calling B so she can have some work done. My hubbie asked me "Who's car is that in the driveway?" Joking about how great of a job Keith did.
I got to talk to B a bit about Keith a little bit on that visit only ten days ago. Keith was really trying hard to make it good with his girlfriend. He wanted to marry her someday. She comes from an almost rougher background that he does. But two broken souls, trying to love God, and make their way in the world together, keep their addictions at bay, and not let the past ruin their futures. It's the stuff of Hollywood. They were incredibly cute together.
God has other plans. I got an email from B this afternoon. Keith, Nolan and another friend were killed in a car accident early this morning. Click here for the news regarding that.
B and I talked/cried on the phone. She has her kids at home with her today, and she has to keep a happy face. I am off to a meeting I am conducting, and can't have makeup running down my face. So much to talk about and agree on--thank the Lord above that Keith had his relationship with God in place. B seemed to be wondering if he was high when it happened. Her pastor brought up a good point--it doesn't matter. How many of us are in "sin" while driving a car, whether it is drugs, swearing at the car next to us, speeding, etc. We also are concerned for Keith's girlfriend. Please please pray for her. She is so fragile right now. Such a baby Christian, with so little support from family. Pray the newfound church family she has found will be what she needs. She is so young! Keith was so young! Nolan was so young! Nolan has a young child. T no longer has a workforce for his business. So much loss in one moment.
We also agreed, he is free. No more pounding his head against the wall of his addiction. B and I agreed, of all the people we have known in our lifetimes--Keith worked harder than anyone we know to beat it, and worked at it minute by minute. Now, he is enjoying the golden streets of heaven, addiction free, ready to do the work the Lord has set for him not on this earth. For that, I am happy beyond belief for Keith.
I came home tonight looking at the interior of my car. Knowing Keith's hands have touched almost every surface with care and precision. Knowing he has buffed the exterior watching every angle to make sure it was smooth as silk. It felt like he was all around me.
I would give in a second to take the place of these young people that I have lost in the last month. Jessica who had so many gifts about to be given to this world. Keith about to take the next steps in adulthood. They have so much to offer! So much ahead of them.
I can't take many more emails like the ones I have gotten in recent weeks.
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