Open adoption, by definition means there is some kind of communication between the birth parent(s) and adoptive parent(s) of a child. It can be a spectrum of communication. It can range from visiting each other weekly, to sending a postcard once a year. It also includes exchanging family medical information. By definition almost ALL domestic (US adoptions) are open just by the mere fact that it is standard procedure to at least pass on the family medical background to adoptive parents.
Why am I glad? Today I come home from running and my youngest tells me his heart hurts. So what does that mean? Well for 99% of the time I would give a hug and kiss and have him lay down.
Except for one thing.
I know his family medical history.
Called the doctor and we are off to see our medical professional this afternoon.
I am sure it is nothing. I would never forgive myself if it was something.
Jan 27, 2012
Jan 13, 2012
One of My Favorite Recipes
I need to post this yet again. I got it from my friend, Kathi, and it's a family favorite. I have printed, reprinted, etc this recipe so many times. I decided, let's just post it on the blog so it's in one spot instead of bits of paper in corners of my kitchen. It is the best soup to cut the chill out of a fall or winter's day. Add garlic to the onion mixture for a bit of pep. Also, be flexible. I have used canned corn when frozen wasn't around. Use a spicy sausage for a kick as well. The lemonade in the background? What can I say... I have kids.
Corn and Kielbasa Chowder
8 oz kielbasa, thinly slices
2 onions, finely chopped
1 T butter
1 14.5 oz can chicken broth
1 large baking potato, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 cup half and half (milk can be a substitute)
1 1-lb bag of frozen corn thawed (have used canned as a sub)
1 tsp marjoram
salt and pepper
Heat a deep skillet or a wide 4-6 quart pot over medium heat. Add kielbasa and cook, stirring, until lightly browned, about mins. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate.
Add the onions and butter to the pan and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until golden, about 6 mins. Add the broth, marjoram, and potato and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, cover, and let simmer until potatoes are tender. About 10 mins. Add the half and half and corn and cook, stirring until heated through.
Using a blender or food processor, puree 1 cup chowder until smooth. Stir the puree back into the chowder along with browned kielbasa and season to taste.
Dig in! Prep time 10 mins, cook time 15-25 mins.
8 oz kielbasa, thinly slices
2 onions, finely chopped
1 T butter
1 14.5 oz can chicken broth
1 large baking potato, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 cup half and half (milk can be a substitute)
1 1-lb bag of frozen corn thawed (have used canned as a sub)
1 tsp marjoram
salt and pepper
Heat a deep skillet or a wide 4-6 quart pot over medium heat. Add kielbasa and cook, stirring, until lightly browned, about mins. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate.
Add the onions and butter to the pan and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until golden, about 6 mins. Add the broth, marjoram, and potato and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, cover, and let simmer until potatoes are tender. About 10 mins. Add the half and half and corn and cook, stirring until heated through.
Using a blender or food processor, puree 1 cup chowder until smooth. Stir the puree back into the chowder along with browned kielbasa and season to taste.
Dig in! Prep time 10 mins, cook time 15-25 mins.
Dec 13, 2011
"Can I Just Ask?"
I don't know what is happening in the universe right now, maybe it was because we had a full moon last week but I keep getting asked the adoption questions that tend to get under my skin. One in particular. I need to rant.
I always start my rants with a little bit of a foundation. My family is rock solid. Recently we have had some discussions about adoption tax credits, and suddenly our six year old had a nightmare that he didn't have a family. As discouraging as that was, and it made for a long night, it also solidified to me....our kids are rock solid in their knowledge that we are a family and even little things like talking about adoption papers can shake that.
Now here is the rub.....kids hear adults talk about simple things like paperwork and they easily put a spin on it that something is "wrong" and a measure of doubt comes into their minds. Kids always personalize the negative, especially those things that pertain to them.
So if talking about something as impersonal as tax credits and adoption papers can mix up a little six year old's mind....imagine this scenario.
Standing with a group of adults while the kids are around us in their typical satellite sort of way and someone asks this question, "Are they brothers?"
I always give my scripted answer of, "Yes they are brothers, just not biologically related." The last time this scenario happened, the person actually kind of rolled their eyes at me.
Okay but maybe I should roll my eyes at you because you don't get the pleasure of going home and dealing with any aftershocks your curious question created that is none of your business.
Yes, I am irritated, and I am in a snarky mood this morning. But honestly, let's all agree that, just like biological families, adopted families come about in all kinds of shapes, forms and colors. It isn't necessary to know every mold every family came out of.
Especially if you're going to ask what may not seem like an earth shattering question to you.....rocks the world of kids. Imagine being a small kid and hearing two or three times a week, "Are they brothers?"
My kids are my kids. Protective mama came out this week. Hopefully we are on the back side of the moon phase.
I always start my rants with a little bit of a foundation. My family is rock solid. Recently we have had some discussions about adoption tax credits, and suddenly our six year old had a nightmare that he didn't have a family. As discouraging as that was, and it made for a long night, it also solidified to me....our kids are rock solid in their knowledge that we are a family and even little things like talking about adoption papers can shake that.
Now here is the rub.....kids hear adults talk about simple things like paperwork and they easily put a spin on it that something is "wrong" and a measure of doubt comes into their minds. Kids always personalize the negative, especially those things that pertain to them.
So if talking about something as impersonal as tax credits and adoption papers can mix up a little six year old's mind....imagine this scenario.
Standing with a group of adults while the kids are around us in their typical satellite sort of way and someone asks this question, "Are they brothers?"
I always give my scripted answer of, "Yes they are brothers, just not biologically related." The last time this scenario happened, the person actually kind of rolled their eyes at me.
Okay but maybe I should roll my eyes at you because you don't get the pleasure of going home and dealing with any aftershocks your curious question created that is none of your business.
Yes, I am irritated, and I am in a snarky mood this morning. But honestly, let's all agree that, just like biological families, adopted families come about in all kinds of shapes, forms and colors. It isn't necessary to know every mold every family came out of.
Especially if you're going to ask what may not seem like an earth shattering question to you.....rocks the world of kids. Imagine being a small kid and hearing two or three times a week, "Are they brothers?"
My kids are my kids. Protective mama came out this week. Hopefully we are on the back side of the moon phase.
Dec 11, 2011
Signals I Send Myself
So I told you about my weight loss for 2011. It has been a long and difficult journey that I have done too many times in my lifetime. I pray my psychology stays as good as it is now and I can continue this path.
So I want to make a huge goal for 2012. I want it to be as scary and tentative as I felt with my goal a year ago. Goals, by definition, suggest the high possibility of failure. And truthfully, let's agree, that is the hardest part, admitting failure.
Here is my goal. I want to run a half marathon by the end of 2012. There I said it in print and publicized it.
Why do I want to do this? Honestly, I don't have a big lightbulb kind of reason. I am not running to fund raise for a cure, or raise awareness, or become a tri-athlete. I am running because I recognize the journey of weight loss recovering my health doesn't just stop with a number on my Wii fitness scale. I recognize it needs to continue with continued health goals for myself that will continue to build on that number on the scale. So I asked myself what could I do that would truly stretch myself and yet be somewhere in the realm of achieve-able.
Plus just a wee bit crazy. This is crazy for me. I have never ever ever been a runner type. The times I have been in the best shape, I have been swimming or doing intense aerobics, with swimming being the best. Running, not on my radar by any stretch.
So as I reflect back to a year ago at this time, and get ready to try to do something else, I am reflective as to where I was a year ago, and here are my thoughts:
* I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life and hated it. I felt like I had tried every diet, and tried to focus on health, but truth be told, put some chips and warm parmesan dip in front of me, it was easy to ignore that I was eating too much.
* In terms of exercise, I do enjoy walking and I couldn't. When I would start walking the dog, I would get incredibly painful shin splints that made my calves burn. It was alarming and scary to me. When I started losing the weight and tried walking again, and there was no pain, I was able to easily see how overweight people become sedentary quickly. It scared me.
* I wasn't confident and I felt like hiding in a corner most of the time. If invited to a fun event, I would cringe at the thought of trying to find something to wear that would hide all I was trying to hide.
* I could barely walk up my stairs without being out of breath.
Those are the signals my body is sending me. I am loving it.
So I want to make a huge goal for 2012. I want it to be as scary and tentative as I felt with my goal a year ago. Goals, by definition, suggest the high possibility of failure. And truthfully, let's agree, that is the hardest part, admitting failure.
Here is my goal. I want to run a half marathon by the end of 2012. There I said it in print and publicized it.
Why do I want to do this? Honestly, I don't have a big lightbulb kind of reason. I am not running to fund raise for a cure, or raise awareness, or become a tri-athlete. I am running because I recognize the journey of weight loss recovering my health doesn't just stop with a number on my Wii fitness scale. I recognize it needs to continue with continued health goals for myself that will continue to build on that number on the scale. So I asked myself what could I do that would truly stretch myself and yet be somewhere in the realm of achieve-able.
Plus just a wee bit crazy. This is crazy for me. I have never ever ever been a runner type. The times I have been in the best shape, I have been swimming or doing intense aerobics, with swimming being the best. Running, not on my radar by any stretch.
So as I reflect back to a year ago at this time, and get ready to try to do something else, I am reflective as to where I was a year ago, and here are my thoughts:
* I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life and hated it. I felt like I had tried every diet, and tried to focus on health, but truth be told, put some chips and warm parmesan dip in front of me, it was easy to ignore that I was eating too much.
* In terms of exercise, I do enjoy walking and I couldn't. When I would start walking the dog, I would get incredibly painful shin splints that made my calves burn. It was alarming and scary to me. When I started losing the weight and tried walking again, and there was no pain, I was able to easily see how overweight people become sedentary quickly. It scared me.
* I wasn't confident and I felt like hiding in a corner most of the time. If invited to a fun event, I would cringe at the thought of trying to find something to wear that would hide all I was trying to hide.
* I could barely walk up my stairs without being out of breath.
* Physically I could feel those subtle signals of my body telling me this is getting to a scary place. The aches and pains, easily fatigued, numbness in my extremities, shortness of breath, burning in my legs, etc. I could ingore it and excuse it as aging or I could be honest with myself.
So I did, for the ten thousandth time, a simple calorie counting regime. I didn't look at long term goals at all .I looked to stay in my calorie goal for a day. Then another, and another. Then a week. I gave myself the teaser that if I did it for a month, I could weigh myself. Yep, weight came off. I fully believe that to be successful at weight loss you need to see measurable results the first time you measure. So don't measure on the first day and don't measure after messing up and eating a bad meal. Measure when you know you've had a month of day to day success then do it. That is your motivator. Now do that again in a month.
So what am I specifically looking for in my training for a half marathon. Here they are:
* I don't want to have to kill myself. That is why I am giving myself a year. If you look around for half marathon preparations, you can do it quickly in a few months and also run the risk of injury and for me, honestly, burn out. I only have so much time to dedicate to this.
* I want to see the last 10-15 pounds come off and go down one more size.
* I want this to lead to a lifestyle of some kind of weekly workout three times a week. If I get tired of running, I will switch to something else.
* I want to be able to show my kids how to set a goal and do it. I have done that with the weight loss, so now we keep going and do more. Tonight as I was putting on my running shoes, my six year commented, "Mom! You can really see you've lost weight!" They need to see me make good choices, and how to set goals and achieve them.
* This is also a kind of "Bucket List" thing. I want to be able to say I did this cool thing, even if only once, I think that is cool. However, if I like it, honestly, next year, let's do the full deal and run a marathon. Just a thought.
So as I write this, I took a baby step tonight. I realize it's not even Christmas yet, and I should just enjoy the cookies and fudge. Trust me, I am having a bite or two here and there, but the thought of undoing all the weight loss hard work is just an awful thought to me. So tonight, I put on a pair of running shoes, running pants, my stainless steel athletic bra, and went on my usual 2 mile walk with the dog. As I was walking, some of the literature I have been reading to get started has you running and walking in intervals. So I tried it. I completely surprised myself, I did about half of my 2 mile walk at a run. Why is that so shocking to me? There is no way on this green earth that could have happened a year ago, and here I am running and it feels good! I almost stopped and cried. I am now hooked. I am looking to do that three times a week until I can comfortably do the full two miles at a run. Then we'll start talking about 10K training, which is basically about a half of a half marathon. Remember, steps. I need to see some kind of achievable steps in a month, just like last year.
And the weight loss? My goal right now, maintain through the holidays. That gives me permission to have a few treats and be realistic. However, come January 1, the calories are getting counted and we are on full committment three times a week, walk/run intervals until we are up to two miles three times a week. I am looking at the end of February being able to do that.
Nov 11, 2011
The Sacrifices For What I Have
Because soldiers in US wars set aside time in their lives to fight for freedom and suffered, I have a lot of freedoms. They may have been permanently injured physically or psychologically. They may have lost the loyalty of a lover at home, or the chance at a college scholarship, or high school graduation. US soldiers are laying in unmarked graves on foreign soil right now, so that I could enjoy the comforts I have right now. Missing soldiers are places where truly only God knows where they are, because that soldier read their history books and decided having a free republic was worth the sacrifice.
I am so ever thankful, my simple words on a website cannot express.
Here are the things I have because a soldier sacrificed:
As an American woman, I own a business, make profit, and can live independently. In a lot of other countries, I would be a criminal.
I have adopted children from a different race. In the United States only in the last few hundred years, those same children were considered property, not family members. Thank you to our soldiers.
I own property. One of the biggest signals of a free society, and one of many reasons a rag tag bunch of people hopped on a boat and came to America, only to find themselves fighting the best army in the world to keep that right during the Revolution.....was property ownership. Own it, and be proud, and don't ever let it go. Ever. Blood was shed on that soil for the right to own it.
I have the right to bear arms. Another signal of a free country, the right of the citizenry to defend themselves not only from foreign enemies, but those from within. Remember, possession is 90% of the law. Once you let that right go, you may never get it back. Again, thousands of soldiers took up arms, defended that right, and died so you could have that right. I am thankful.
I have the right to walk our streets and show my face. In other countries where our soldiers are fighting right now, women are punished harshly for that. Just yesterday a woman and her daughter were stoned to death in the Middle East for such a silly offense. To my military, I am thankful.
I have the right to earn a paycheck, and do whatever the heck I want to with it.
I have the right to say what I want to say. I understand this is a privilege and with it comes responsibility. I won't walk down the street yelling things that push people's buttons and inflame them like what I am seeing in the news these days. God also has given me the marching orders to consider my words wisely and speak with discernment. However, I can speak those words without suffering any kind of reprisals from my government, and I thank our soldiers for that right.
I am thankful that our military is the best of the best. I have been unique places and seen unique things in my life that only the daughter of a military man could see. I realize as a grown woman now, those things I saw as a child.....all children should see. There is a missing link in our culture today. I appreciate, love and honor our military and country because I saw things firsthand and understood the cost of freedom from when I was a toddler. Everyone needs that missing link. Our country's military would be an even better military if everyone saw the things I saw. Our government would be a better government if they saw the things I saw.
But they didn't. I did. I know all of our soldiers past, present and future wish we had. I appreciate you I hurt for you and your lifetime of hurts you have ahead of you because of your service. In this woman's heart and mind, I appreciate all you have done.
Thank you. Enjoy your Veterans Day. You have earned it.
I am so ever thankful, my simple words on a website cannot express.
Here are the things I have because a soldier sacrificed:
As an American woman, I own a business, make profit, and can live independently. In a lot of other countries, I would be a criminal.
I have adopted children from a different race. In the United States only in the last few hundred years, those same children were considered property, not family members. Thank you to our soldiers.
I own property. One of the biggest signals of a free society, and one of many reasons a rag tag bunch of people hopped on a boat and came to America, only to find themselves fighting the best army in the world to keep that right during the Revolution.....was property ownership. Own it, and be proud, and don't ever let it go. Ever. Blood was shed on that soil for the right to own it.
I have the right to bear arms. Another signal of a free country, the right of the citizenry to defend themselves not only from foreign enemies, but those from within. Remember, possession is 90% of the law. Once you let that right go, you may never get it back. Again, thousands of soldiers took up arms, defended that right, and died so you could have that right. I am thankful.
I have the right to walk our streets and show my face. In other countries where our soldiers are fighting right now, women are punished harshly for that. Just yesterday a woman and her daughter were stoned to death in the Middle East for such a silly offense. To my military, I am thankful.
I have the right to earn a paycheck, and do whatever the heck I want to with it.
I have the right to say what I want to say. I understand this is a privilege and with it comes responsibility. I won't walk down the street yelling things that push people's buttons and inflame them like what I am seeing in the news these days. God also has given me the marching orders to consider my words wisely and speak with discernment. However, I can speak those words without suffering any kind of reprisals from my government, and I thank our soldiers for that right.
I am thankful that our military is the best of the best. I have been unique places and seen unique things in my life that only the daughter of a military man could see. I realize as a grown woman now, those things I saw as a child.....all children should see. There is a missing link in our culture today. I appreciate, love and honor our military and country because I saw things firsthand and understood the cost of freedom from when I was a toddler. Everyone needs that missing link. Our country's military would be an even better military if everyone saw the things I saw. Our government would be a better government if they saw the things I saw.
But they didn't. I did. I know all of our soldiers past, present and future wish we had. I appreciate you I hurt for you and your lifetime of hurts you have ahead of you because of your service. In this woman's heart and mind, I appreciate all you have done.
Thank you. Enjoy your Veterans Day. You have earned it.
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