Missing a Compassion Component

I am in my mid-forties and approaching an anniversary date from 25 years ago that turned my life on a completely different trajectory—though few know about it. I was sexually assaulted on August 4^th, 1990. I became pregnant from that assault and chose to have a second trimester abortion. It was horrific.

I have walked a journey of healing and restoration since then. As the videos revealing the insidious intentions of Planned Parenthood’s to harvest fetal body parts are published, I am having a hard time. As a person who has done a very thorough and personal inventory of her abortion experience and laid it before God and mankind, I am struggling with these videos. 

We need a component of compassion as these videos are released. And they should be released and need to be released. Planned Parenthood has gotten away with murder for too long.

I spent years after my abortion, by the grace of God, finding healing. I consider myself extremely fortunate. I know of many women who live empty shells of lives because of the trauma of their abortion choice and were not able to find the kind of help I was able to. 

Additionally, I also spent a few years leading post abortion support groups. I have been given a gift. It is a gift of sincere peace and forgiveness from my abortion experience that only God can provide. Let me repeat that…there is no pill, doctor, prescription, book, YouTube video or app that can fix that kind of pain. Only God, creator of this universe yet intimately involved in the inner workings of my soul, can fix that kind of messed up pain. 

In the ensuing years I have not been shy about sharing my experience. I have shared my story before churches, groups, youth and on the radio. 

As I follow the methodical and timed publishing of undercover videos depicting Planned Parenthood administrators peddling human body parts for profit, the voice inside my head strongly exclaims, “Good! Finally!”  I am glad the inside workings of Planned Parenthood, their motivations and their tactics, are finally being revealed. 

Yet I have not watched one of them from start to finish. I can’t. Even after all I’ve been through, it hurts… A lot.

I am a tough cookie. There’s not a lot you can say to me to make me change my mind on being pro-life. Try calling me a hypocrite. I’ll quickly reply, “No. I learned my lesson the hard way. I am pro-life not only based on medical facts, but on personal experience.”

I say this to my fellow pro-life friends publishing these videos and disseminating them through media. First I say, “Don’t stop and keep going!”

Next I say, please take a moment each time you share these videos to also share hope. There are post abortive women watching these, and reeling from them.  They are hurting….badly. I cannot stress enough. These videos are pouring salt on a seeping, gaping wound that hasn’t healed. 

For those who are struggling, it is causing nightmares, increased depression, despair, and potential increase in destructive behaviors such as addiction if that is their coping mechanism to make the pain go away. I am saying this not as a professional counselor, but as someone who has walked this path and had to refer women to professional services for these very things…when videos weren’t being published. 

Let’s make sure not to forget the second victim in abortion, and that is the mother. She was fed the lie that abortion was “the best decision”, “she had to do it” and “it’s only tissue”. No woman ever wakes up and says, “Hey, this is a great day to abort my baby!” No. Women choose abortion as a last resort under immense pressure and extreme situations. She has the abortion to end the immediate pressure, but the emotional consequences afterwards are a horrifying reality that don’t go away on their own—they are permanent and despairing. 

There is hope. If you live in the Portland METRO area, I strongly recommend HEART (Healing Encouragement for Abortion Related Trauma). You can find them at this website. All services are confidential and free. 

*All views are my own.