Every time I get my latest copy of "Adoptive Families Magazine", I drink it up like water. The resources, suggestions, helpful hints, and sweet stories just fill my day with adoption thoughts and goals. If you are an adoptive parent, in process of adopting, or somehow connected to adoption, I cannot stress enough how much I love this magazine. It covers all kinds of adoption (international, domestic, step parent adoption, older child adoption, adoption within families, etc). You cannot go wrong with the amazing amount of resources, ideas, and help it has.
Here is what I will share with you, that I have found out lately, and from my latest read:
1) Guatemala is the number two most popular country for Americans to adopt from next to China. They are having problems. Click here for an article I found a few days ago hinting to the problems. According to my magazine, there will now be more requirements for adoption workers to perform more DNA tests on Guatemalan birthparents to prove parenthood. It is sad. But as an adoptive parent, I want to make sure my child's birthparents are consenting and that I am not unknowingly participating in baby brokering!
2) Keep your eyes out on your local PBS stations. "Arthur's" friend, Binky, is about to have a new baby sister adopted from China. The writers of the program spent two years researching and developing this story line. There is a huge write up in Adoptive Families Magazine. The writers truly wanted to make sure adoption was presented accurately, without myths, and well done for kids. I am looking forward to it! According to my local station, it seems September 7th is the magical day it will air, but please double check that.
3) Adoptions from the Ukraine are delayed as well. Families can expect to wait three weeks before receiving a visa for their child to leave the country.
4) Great articles and discussion about international vs domestic adoptions. Many people want international adoptions to avoid contact with birthfamilies, but suddenly find one of two things happening. a) They do indeed want to meet the family if only for a photo and a heartfelt hug and thank you. b) Also, they are finding that international agencies will contact them saying "the birth family has asked for a letter and a picture".
Please see my blog post dated 7/22/2007 called "Bad Day for Adoption". I think domestic adoption rocks, even though it seems to get as much bad press as international adoption. I still think it's one of the quickest, lowest risk, and cheapest adoptions around. I do have my opinion that I fully realize not everyone holds to--we need to take care of our own kids in need before looking beyond our borders. That is my opinion, and it may not be yours.
5) Great books! I posted a new one on my list of books. There are dozens more in the magazine.
6) Please keep checking the link I posted for National Adoption Day. It is always the Saturday before Thanksgiving, with a focus on placing children in foster care in permanent and loving homes. Since it's a little ways off, the link is kind of stale for much right now, but keep checking it. If you want to see what some of those great foster kids are like, check out my link for Northwest Adoption Exchange. A great site updated weekly with kids just needing a family.
7) As school starts, and the older our kids get, adoption does become a school/playground topic. I have volunteered at JM's school to lead a discussion for the kids about adoption. I will fully pull my resources from all the articles that Adoptive Families Magazine avails to it's readers this time of year. Great words to say, great children's books, great stories that are geared for children's understanding.
8) Would it be helpful if I placed a list of adoption books for kids on my blog? I have a bunch that I recommend. There are tons of them. Please also check the link I have for "Another adoptive family-resources galore!" She has a huge list of children's books as well.
One rule we have for our family--adoption is an open topic. It is talked about, embraced, celebrated and part of our daily life. It is not a secret, shushed, or brushed aside. We want that complete openness now for when our children get older and really start having the tough questions. There is no wrong question or any off limits. That kind of candid talk also innoculates our kids so when they go out in the world and another kid says, "She's not your real mom" our kids know how to handle that. It's always talked about.
2 comments:
My negative experiences with adoption are more related to attachment disorders than paperwork. My cousin (adopted from the Philippines) and my friend at work (who has two adopted daughters from China) all have attachment disorders. Did this issue factor into your decision to adopt at all? That may be too personal of a question. If it is, just ignore it. I'm just curious...
Great question! Yes, attachment was a big issue for us. We took a class from the state we live in because we initially wanted to adopt from the foster system. That is a big issue for older kids coming from broken places, whether it be foster care, foreign orphanages, etc. Since we adopted infants, we could jump on the attachment early when those detachments and broken bonds begin. Things we did with our babies to assure we had bonding, and to insure again Reactive Attachment Disorder, and other things--our babies we held constantly BY US. They slept in our bed, we used snugglies and slings, and didn't carry them around in car seat carriers. We were the ones who fed them, we talked constantly to them. Having them sleep with us was probably the best thing. With both kids, our doctor confirmed to us in the first few months that yes, they were bonding and that we were doing the right things. This is not an issue to ignore! If you are considering adopting an older child, you need to arm yourself with ways to bond with them--and sleeping with them is not appropriate. It is different because you have to form bonds that are not instinctual like with babies, they are practical and may even seem silly. But trust me, you don't want to ignore it, and be prepared for it. Does that mean never adopt an older child? No, but it will mean creative parenting that you may not at all be used to, and may even need to be trained in. Great question!!
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